A Life on the Line: Personal Encounters with Law Enforcement. A Caregiver's Perspective on Honor and Respect for Police

Not Your Usual Day

“It’s 2 a.m. and he’s not home yet!”  Three sets of eyes stare out the window, watching anxiously for headlights to turn down our street.  “I think it’s him!”, my brother would say, at the first sighting of a beam of light….only to be disappointed when the car did not turn.  We’d hold our breath, we’d hold hands, but mostly we’d quietly pray. This late night ritual was one my mom, my brother and I found ourselves doing often, knowing that dad was out there protecting innocent people and making sure that “the bad guys”, who broke the law, were caught.

Growing up as the daughter of a state trooper was like being on an emotional treadmill, with brief moments of pride, then uneventful weeks, followed by torturous days on end, when he’d be gone at a ‘stake out’ or ‘shoot out’ somewhere he had to keep secret from us.  I encountered all sorts of police over the years, some in uniform, some under cover and others in suits as they accompanied a president or diplomat who was in town.  And, at the end of every day, when dad came home from “work”, immediately the gun would come out of the holster and be placed in a hidden spot in my parent’s bedroom that was unknown to us.  That’s right, it was not your usual day in our house!

Fast Forward

Decades later, I’m now caring for my dad.  He’s 90 years old and most days has his memory, though his body is failing him.  He still tells stories, and I love to hear them, over and over and over again!  Stories of drug raids he led or the crash investigations that were hard for him to conduct, or the bumpy rides down country roads searching for a murder suspect. His old face is still so very expressive, especially when he recounts some very close calls that could have ended his life.

“Was he ever shot at”, people have asked me.  I answer, “Yes”.  “Did he ever shoot anyone”, they’d ask.  I’d answer, “No”.   “Did he come close to shooting anyone”, the questions would continue.  And, I’d quietly say, “Yes”.  Time and time again, my dad and his fellow police officers put their life on the line…literally.

So, What Does Dad Think Now, About Current Events?

Mostly, dad shakes his head in disgust. The hatred and the violence really cuts him to the core.  But, when I press him to talk, here’s a few things he will share.

“Yes, there are bad police out there.  Always have been.  But they are in the small minority.  We need to do something about them, but for God’s sake don’t make all of the police bad.”

“Do you really think a police officer gets up in the morning and looks forward to having to draw his/her gun?”,  “No!”

“It’s a tragedy…it’s insane they’re trying to kill police”.

“I’m sure glad to be retired!  But, what’s going to happen to society?  Who’s going to want to even become a police officer?  Who will protect people?  It’s sad.”

I feel blessed to be given the opportunity to care for this man, not only because he’s my father, but because he’s served and protected so many lives over the course of 3 decades.

A Caregiver’s Perspective and Hope for Restoring Honor and Respect

Dad was always my hero, and still is.  As a little girl, I’d gingerly touch the shiny star on his badge.  And, as you can see, by the photo above, I loved to wear his hat!!!  

I was raised with a healthy dose of fear and respect for the law.  I think most in my age group were.  This started at home, of course, but was reinforced at school, at church and in the homes of my friends.  Trust me, I was told point blank that if I ever get stopped by a police officer that first of all I put BOTH my hands on the wheel, where the officer can see them.  I don’t get out.  I wait to be approached.  I address the officer with respect, including the use of “sir” or “ma’am”.    It was made crystal clear that if I ever broke the law, whether intentionally or not, I had to expect to suffer the consequences.  No blaming allowed.  Do we have an opportunity to get clear on consequences and re-educate?

I believe that we are in the midst of a crisis.  A moral crisis.  Many people instill the idea of honor and respect for authority, including for the police.  Sadly, that’s not always the case.  And, the age of entitlement and individualism has had impacts upon society as a whole.  It’s not just a disregard for police; it’s a disregard for others and, horrifically, for human life in some cases.

I hold out hope.  I hope that more people will PRAY for the police in Dallas and everywhere else.  Prayer unites.  I hope that we can STOP the generalizing and hating of all police.  Hate destroys.  I hope that there is new emphasis across all institutions that stresses, from the earliest of ages, to OBEY the law.  And, I hope that the media and public figures, as well as in every home, we message the RESPECT for law enforcement.  If you agree, let’s SHARE this hope.  And, PASS it on.

My prayer is that people will recognize that police officers are here to serve and protect, putting their life on the line for citizens each and every day.  And, for that, we owe them a debt of gratitude and respect.

I invite you to share your thoughts, your hopes and anything else you wish to offer on this travesty of disregard, disrespect and violence against police.

Originally Published by Deb Kelsey-Davis on her blog at www.S2S.Care/Blog