Life Lessons

Here's How this Started:

I could talk for hours about my parents—the lessons they taught my brother and me. Many of those lessons came from funny stories that still make me smile, even though they happened years ago.

My parents both lost their battles with autoimmune illnesses. When my father passed away, my mom refused to let us bury him. She wanted to “go with him,” so he stayed with us—or rather, his ashes stayed with us—until she died. Then they could “go together,” as she had requested.

They were married for 60 years, and to me, that felt like the perfect send-off. They went up to heaven together, reunited with their friends—amazing people who had taught all of us so much about life.

My moment of “stuckness” came shortly after my mom died, when I needed to talk with the minister from our church about the burial service at the cemetery.

“Tell me about your parents,” she said.

I began recounting my dad’s illness—how long it took to diagnose, the hospital stays in Boston, the weeks he spent in care. Then I started telling her about Mom’s battles with her illnesses. But in the back of my mind, a voice nagged, “Stop. She doesn’t need their medical history. She’s asking about your parents, their lives, not their diagnoses.”

I asked if I could call her back, and she agreed. I hung up and immediately called my brother in tears. “I can’t remember anything!” I cried. “The minister asked me to tell her about Mom and Dad, and I couldn’t remember anything!”?

After 30 years of working in healthcare, I could tell you all about my experiences in the EDs where I’ve worked or about Mom and Dad’s care in the countless hospitals and clinics they visited. But I couldn’t remember anything from our childhood.

In his calm way, my brother started talking about everything he remembered growing up. “Remember when we went camping up in Maine at Pemaquid? And that time we went to Expo in Montreal? Or when they took us to Philadelphia, New York City, the Guggenheim, the Statue of Liberty, and the United Nations? Remember going to the top of the Empire State Building? All those times we went skiing?”

As he spoke, I wrote down everything he said while continuing to cry—sad that they were both gone but grateful for the abundant memories he was able to recall quickly and share with me.?

I still can’t believe I had to take notes.?

After we hung up, I sat there, still crying, thinking about all the life lessons our parents had taught us. How much we had learned. The great times we had spent together as a family.

Then, I grabbed a pen and wrote the poem below in under ten minutes...because life lessons are like that; they stick with you.

The Poem: "Life Lessons x 2"

Be driven, Believe inspirationally

Communicate empathically

Don’t quit

On this earth, you have only one life - this one is it

Eat right, Engage intuitively

Fail insightfully too

Focus intently on your goals and then follow them through

Have fun, Invest wisely

Laugh often and much

Lead decisively and remember the lives that you touch

Learn curiously, Live passionately

Love unconditionally, too;?

Be mindful of those who are closest to you

Move gracefully through this life that you live

When interacting with others, it’s your time you should give

Play collaboratively, Pray humbly

Sleep soundly, my friends

Speak honestly, Stay strong

Step gently - Transcend

Think tactfully, Trust yourself

Work smart through the end

Live your life well

As we all should intend

Life is Short .... Right?

This poem has sat on my computer since the day I wrote it and then read it at Mom and Dad's burial service - to a small group of friends, gathered around in a historic cemetery near our church in Portsmouth RI.

But the biggest and most difficult lesson that has kept hitting home for me this year is the importance of our relationships and time spent with those closest to us. - This after spending time attending 8 funerals/memorial services from May to September; reflecting on the lives of friends who had passed.

I kept thinking about the life lessons my brother and I had learned from our parents as well as the life lessons imparted on us by our friends who had passed which were eloquently discussed at the funerals I attended.

I realized that having the poem on my computer was one thing. But understanding the reasons these lessons had stuck with me (as well as the lessons themselves) was something totally different.

And then - as usual - my thoughts went from the "flight deck" to the 40,000 foot view of this perspective and wondered how awesome it would be if every family across our country shared their "life lessons" or the legacies they had received from their family and friends.

I know for sure the divisiveness across our country would be gone in a minute if we all understood and connected with the lessons we have all learned from our families and friends. We'd see different perspectives. We'd see similiaries. We'd learn new lessons -

I wrote a book about it - "Life Lessons" (which has a picture of the cover with the link in the comments section of this newsletter). The book is available on Amazon and soon, as an audiobook on Audible. However - if you're interested in a copy of the ebook between now and Jan 1 2025, message me through linkedin with the title "book" and I'll send you a copy of the e-book as a pdf or e-pub for free. - my Christmas gift for you.

Merry Christmas and thanks so much for subscribing to my newsletter

I wish you and your family all of the best for 2025!

What will be your legacy?

#personaldevelopment #culture #mindfulness #healthcare #whatinspiresme