Life lessons learned while playing Bridge

What do Omar Sharif, Mahatma Gandhi, Martina Navratilova and Warren Buffet have in common. They all love(d) playing Bridge. A card game that teaches life skills to my mum and to me.

“Bridge is such a sensational game that I wouldn’t mind being in jail if I had three cellmates who were decent players and who were willing to keep the game going 24 hours a day.” Warren Buffett

My mom, at 70, is one of the coolest bridge players I have seen. For years I resisted learning the game but finally during lockdown, she patiently taught me the basics.  Bridge is a card game with 4 people two of whom are partners. Each player gets random 13 cards and through a series of conventions information is shared. The game has two parts: first bidding and then playing. After the bidding is completed, the person who bids last, the declarer, has to make the contract. The declarer’s partner is called the dummy and has to reveal their 13 cards to everyone. The opponents launch an offense to prevent the declarer from making the contract and is ironically referred to as defense.

Reflections and Lessons while playing bridge

When learning something new, the beginning is overwhelming, but persist.

While the initial phase of learning is overwhelming, like with every skill, when you make the simple choice to not give up, you begin to remember things, your concentration improves and you begin to enjoy the game.

“Bridge is too important to take seriously.”– Oscar Wilde

Do not overthink about what others think of you, focus on learning

As a newcomer there is only one way to learn and that is by making mistakes. So do not worry about the opinion of others but focus on learning the game. Every player was a beginner once. If you are chasing popularity, stick to social platforms.

Bridge is for fun. Play this game for no other reason

It is a game that is meant to be enjoyed. If you cannot play it pleasantly and make some great friendships along the way, don’t play. This is true for all games.

“Bridge is essentially a social game, but unfortunately it attracts a substantial number of antisocial people.” Alan Truscott

Be forever curious and keep learning

People keep coming up with new conventions and better techniques. Like new technology, use it, experiment with it, improve your understanding of it and have fun along the way.

“Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make them all yourself.” Alfred Sheinwold 

In a partnership, trust each other, make the most of combined strengths and combat weaknesses

The same ingredients that make a successful relationship make successful partners in bridge: mutual respect, listening, understanding cues, letting the stronger partner lead, understanding risk appetite, being kind, willing to forget and move on. It is a partnership of equals even though in a particular game, one may be stronger.

“No matter where I go, I can always make new friends at the bridge table.” Martina Navratilova

Having a bad plan is better than having no plan at all

There are 52 cards and each player knows 26 cards, their own 13 and the dummy’s 13. Through the bidding information you can make calculated estimates of the distribution of points and suits. There is no reason or excuse to play without a plan!  Assume, plan, test, foresee, preempt. Be optimistic in life but pessimistic while planning on the bridge table. When plan B does not work, remember there are 24 more alphabets.

Listen and observe and absorb with all your senses

Every card is played by your partner or opponent for a reason. If you don't understand the reason or miss the cue, you miss an opportunity or make a mistake that proves to be fatal. Be aware of context. The same bid under different contexts can mean very different things.

"We had a partnership misunderstanding. My partner assumed I knew what I was doing."Anon

Being present

Concentration is absolutely essential. You need all your senses, including your sixth sense on high alert. Your eyes do not go off the board, your ears are listening to all that is being said and even that which is not being said, your brain is counting the tricks and the suits. Many a game has been lost because the doorbell rang. Bridge is an unforgiving and jealous game. It wants all your attention, if you do not give it, you will be ruthlessly punished. 

Don’t complain about the cards, Play the hand the best you can

Anyone can play a strong hand. But when you don't have good cards and you skillfully defend and do not allow the opponents to make their contract, that is as rewarding. You learn more with weak hands. You never ever concede defeat because there are infinite possibilities with the 26 unseen cards. Always play to win. Never ever give up.

“The real test of a bridge player isn't in keeping out of trouble, but in escaping once he's in.” Alfred Sheinwold

Let it pass

The more you play, you learn that passing and stopping are the best things you can do. We all want to be heroes but this is a partnership game, with opponents as partners too. You have to always keep the big picture in mind and your partner. So at times, the smartest thing you can do is say ”Pass”. Pass is also a bid and it conveys information about risk and probabilities.

“If you want to spend an entire afternoon at the Bridge table, just passing, you may want to check your pulse” Marty Bergen 

Taking calculated risks is not the same as reckless hoping or gambling

Risks should always be calculated. If you have great cards and a 100% chance of making the contract, that is good bidding but there is no skill in playing. It is when you know there are risks but you make calculated decisions about distribution and points and then win that you have exhibited your skills while bidding and playing. Hope is not a strategy.

“When I take a 50-50 chance, I expect it to come off 8 or 9 times out of10.” Hideous Hog

Know when to stick to the rules, when to bend them and when to break them.

Bridge is like life. No rules are absolute, you look at what is around you and make a judgment call on how to use the rules for mutual benefit. Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.

Kenny Rogers singing The Gambler dedicated by Mom and me to all Bridge players.