Life Lessons Learned From Four Months Abroad

Before the development of tourism, travel was conceived to be like study, and its fruits were considered to be the adornment of the mind and the formation of the judgement . – Paul Fussell, Abroad

After spending the last four months overseas, I can confidently say that I have learned more about myself and the world than in the last four years of schooling combined. Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to read a 250 dollar college textbook or sit through a two hour lecture about a theory you will most likely never put into practice to learn something about the world. In my experience, a simple walk through town or day at the beach will do the trick. You can learn something at every street your cross, monument you visit, sunset you watch, and person you interact with. These last four months abroad I have been living in “the real world”.

For me, to live in the real world means experiencing something you never thought possible by leaving the cage society is trying to keep you in and ultimately gain a better understanding of yourself and the creatures around you. While living in the real world, I have learned many lessons that I think are crucial in order to live a life of fulfillment. Some of the most important are listed below.  

Traveling is CHEAP

Before jumping into my personal lessons learned, I just want to point out an important fact about traveling around outside of America. It’s cheap! Here are some examples of the price of flights around Europe.

Porto to Lisbon: $11                                     Lisbon to Barcelona: $22

Barcelona to Rome: $20                              Florence to Barcelona: $19

Barcelona to Nice: $39                                Barcelona to Prague: $36

Flights like these are easy to get and just require planning. Plan a list of travel destinations and look around for cheap flights, about a month in advance will do.

Depending on the city, almost everything is cheaper outside of America. In Morocco, for example, we had dinner with four people. We each got a drink, appetizer, main course, and dessert. The bill was $18 for everything. Morocco is definitely on the cheaper side, but the point being is that much of the rest of the world is cheaper than would be expected.

Don’t let price be the reason that you avoid traveling. Getting there is cheap and many of the best memories will be free.

Zoom IN & OUT                             

When abroad, you will have many opportunities to observe your life from afar or close-up. More simply put, you will have the chance to observe your life on a close and personal level by finding out what really matters to you as a person. On the other side of the spectrum, you can take a step back, zoom out, and understand just how meaningless you are to the world.

My “zoom out” occurred much before my “zoom in” did. I think that’s how it has to be, much like focusing on a singular object through a camera’s lens. It is important to understand the background and world around the object before attempting to focus in on the object. My first time experiencing this, so called zoom out was when I went kayaking and snorkeling in Costa Brava.

Costa Brava is a coastal region of Catalonia in northeastern Spain about two hours north of Barcelona. The water was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. The diversity of animals and land formations were breathtaking. I will never forget looking down into sparkling blue water with the sun beating down on me just thinking just how lucky I was to be able to do what I was doing. After traversing through 10 meter high rock formations, we came to a clearing where our guide allowed us to snorkel. I jumped off the canoe into the blue water and almost lost my breath. The visibility was at least 20 meters in all directions and I could see schools of fish, coral, sea shells sparkling at the bottom, and a vast array of other creatures in the sea. In that moment, just a couple meters below the surface, I realized how small and meaningless my life is to the natural world. I remember thinking that what I the beauty I was looking at has been there long before I ever arrived and will be there long after I go.

Other times I have come to this realization is looking out over the Cliffs of Moher in Ireland, gazing over the Pyrenees Mountains, or simply walking over the beautiful Charles Bridge in Prague. This zoom out allowed me to understand that I am just another creature in this magnificent world. Too many times we humans think nothing can get in our way. It is truly humbling to understand how little impact we humans really have. However, it is equally important to understand that each and every one of us can and should positively impact the people within our world. Which brings me into the personal lessons I have learned while traveling or as mentioned above, my “zoom-in”.

 

Language is NOT a Barrier

Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that had been made in the last 30 years, many foreign people still speak foreign languages. – Dave Barry

In almost every new city I visited the people spoke a language that I could not fully understand. At the end of the day you have to understand that people respond similarly to a positive attitude. A smile works well in most places and good intention is usually easy to spot. Don’t let the “language barrier” prevent you from traveling to a certain place. In-fact, I would encourage traveling to places where you do not fully understand a language because it forces you to understand the people rather than just hearing what they are saying.

In Tangier, Morocco, most local restaurants didn’t have an English menu so we had to describe what we wanted using Google Translate and hand signals. This process usually takes a while, but if you try and don’t get frustrated, you will almost always be able to slowly articulate what you are trying to say.

With that being said, it is always good to understand a few key phrases in each language. A phrase such as, “Hello my friend, I speak very little [insert language]. Do you speak English?” is much better than assuming someone speaks English. People want to see that you care and are trying to learn their way of life. At the local supermarket in Barcelona, I actually became very good at ordering cheese and meat for my next meal just by putting forth effort and trying to communicate with the clerk. I often found the more I struggled and attempted to learn the more he would show me the right way to articulate words.

At the end of the day, language is power and although you shouldn’t let language stop you from going anywhere, you will learn from and apperiacate the place ten times more if you can speak the native tongue. In doing so, you will gain a deep understanding about what makes the culture so beautiful and unique.

RULES ARE CREATED through Social Reinforcement & Sometimes Okay to Break

Throughout history, social reinforcement has greatly impacted the decision making process of people around the world. Different customs and social norms determine how people think and react to different situations. It is very important to understand these cultural differences when traveling and learn from them. Some of the heaviest learning points from my abroad experience came from this idea that rules are just created and sometimes there is no exact right way to do things. In Barcelona, for example, there are nude beaches. It’s normal, completely normal. In America if you took your shorts off you would be a sex offender the rest of your life. Does that make everyone on a beach in Barcelona a vile sex offender? Absolutely not! There is a stigma in America over nudity that doesn’t exist in Barcelona. There are few concrete rights or wrongs. Normally most rules are just social norms that people are accustomed to.

In Florence, Italy when you pick up food from a grocery store, you must cover your hands with a plastic bag in order to grab your desired food. Most other cultures might find this as odd, but it is completely normal for the people of Florence. Again just a social norm that the people of a particular region are accustomed to.

Another easy example is when I visited London, England. Immediately after leaving the airport, you quickly notice that the drivers drive on the “wrong” side of the road. As someone who can drive stick, I would actually like the change so that I could keep my right hand, my dominant hand, on the steering wheel when switching gears. Are the people of England wrong? No, it’s simply just a unique difference.

To touch on my point that rules are sometimes okay to break brings me to a time in France when my friends and I climbed to the top of a gated off hill atop of the city of Eze. The view was extraordinary and something I’ll never forget my entire life. The view was well worth climbing over the presumed do not enter sign.

The world would get quite boring if we were all the same and adhered to the same set of rules. With that being said, never judge someone for doing a task or engaging in an activity in a different way then you are accustomed to. In most cases their way may be better or more efficient.

LEAVE Your Comfort Zone

One of the main reasons the majority of Americans don’t spend the necessary time to travel is because they are scared to leave their comfort zone. People are scared of change and like to know that if anything bad were to happen they are usually a call away from a friend or relative who can save them. My entire time abroad I didn’t have cellphone service. I didn’t have the luxury to call a friend if I got locked out of my apartment, which I did multiple times. I simply had to figure it out.

The first step is understanding that in order to become a better person you must challenge yourself with new obstacles to overcome. I remember sitting on the plane in Detroit about to take off with overwhelming emotions, not knowing if I would make new friends abroad, not knowing if I would be able to adjust, not knowing if I’d even come back in one piece. However, the not knowing is what makes it the best experience of your life.

Be warned, getting there (meaning Europe if you’re traveling from America) is the easy part. The hard and most rewarding part is having the courage to travel to places on your own or leave the group because you’re curious about a certain monument or area of town. Once you do, and make it out alright (which you will) you will find yourself feeling a very high level of achievement and self-worth.

Personally, the most satisfying solo adventure was to the top of Montserrat in Spain. Montserrat houses the Santa Maria monastery which sits at a height of around 1000 meters overlooking the city of Barcelona and the vast countryside around it. My friends and I traveled there one Saturday afternoon to check off another box on our to-do-list. After taking the cable car to the top where the city is located, the group I was with wanted to go to the markets and explore the inner city. I thought climbing to the top of the mountain would be more rewarding. For the next two hours I climbed to the peak alone. On the way up, I talked with a couple from Malaysia and a gentleman from Germany. I took the unmarked path and found myself looking at new plants and rock formations that I have never seen before. Eventually, I reached the top and looked out onto one of the most beautiful viewpoints of Spain I’ve ever seen. I would have never had those conversations nor seen that viewpoint if I had followed the group.

Leave your comfort zone. Every time I did, I gained something far more useful than I ever would have staying within it.

 

PATIENCE is a Virtue

Having a type-A personality and being from an American city, I definitely had to develop a new sense of patience while in Europe. The culture, especially in Spain, is very laid back. Waiters at restaurants are in no hurry, clerks at supermarkets take their time checking out customers, and the majority of public commuters don’t hustle if they are close to missing the metro, there is no such thing as walking fast, and in the professional setting it is acceptable to be late to meetings. I could go on and on about the lack of hustle seen in the Spanish culture. However, there is a huge learning point to this that goes deeper than just having patience.

From what I have learned about the Spanish culture, it revolves around living in the moment. For example, if a couple is trying to have a conversation but about to miss the metro, they will continue the conversation and simply catch the next one that arrives two minutes later. To them, there is no point in missing out on that valuable time with a friend or spouse to run off to do something non-related. The people don’t worry if they are slightly late and will not let it affect their mood for the rest of the day.

Appreciate the journey more than the final result. Understand the process and enjoy the world around you. So what if you miss a metro? Don’t be discouraged if everything in the world doesn’t go by your watch. Catch the next metro and continue to build a relationship that may last a lifetime.

Everything’s Gonna be OKAY!

Throughout my studying abroad and traveling experience, I encountered many mishaps. If I hadn’t kept a level head the situation would have ended up much worse. A summary of Murphy’s Law states that what can go wrong, will go wrong. A very pessimistic view of life, but something to remember when dealing with situations. When things go wrong, which they will, you have to find a creative solution to solve a problem or simply let things play out and understand that at the end of most problems nothing truly unrepairable will happen. Some of my favorite examples of this mentality are as followed:          

Taxi Mishap

I was going home one night in a taxi after a night out with some friends. Once the taxi driver pulled up to my apartment, I realized I didn’t have any cash. No big deal, I pulled out my card and gave it to the man who was driving. The card didn’t work, I gave him my other card, that card didn’t work. I tried explaining that I was using my card all night and I believed it was his card reader and to allow me to run to an ATM. He refused and called the police. The police told me to look inside my apartment for cash, so I did. No cash nor roommates were home to borrow cash from. The police went on to tell me that if I couldn’t find the money I would be arrested. Five minutes later I was sitting in the back of the police car. After listening to the taxi driver and police speaking quickly in Catalan for the next ten minutes, the police officer, said goodbye and let me go.

This situation could have been much worse if handled poorly by any of the parties involved. Luckily it was a happy ending.

Slept in a Park

I was staying in Rome at an Airbnb with five other friends. The first day we were there, my friend was up late the night before due to a paper and decided it was best to go back and sleep after dinner instead of going out with the rest of us to explore the city. Along with my four other friends, we went out until the early morning. After the yawns started, we decided it was best to go back. Once we got back, we realized our other friend had the only key and we were locked out. Long story short, we ended up sleeping on a couple of park benches next to a beautiful statue until morning (statue shown right).

Locked out of my Apartment

I was catching a late flight back from Ireland and arrived at the Barcelona international airport at 11:30 pm. I figured I would metro back home to save money instead of using a taxi. About halfway through the trip back, the metro stopped at midnight. No worries, I just took a taxi back to my place. Once I got home, I realized I didn’t have my key. With a phone without service and no way to get ahold of my sleeping roommates to open the door, I had to try to take to the streets. I explained the situation to a gentleman who was walking home. After explaining the situation in a very rough form of Catalan, he let me use his phone to call the emergency number for my program, which gave me the number to call my apartment room’s landline, which would hopefully wake up my roommates to finally let me in. Two minutes later my roommate came down and it all was okay.

Fined $60 for a Ticket I Bought

I arrived in Budapest and proceeded to go to my Airbnb. I knew the directions because the Airbnb owner sent them (something they usually do). I paid two dollars for my metro ticket and hopped on the metro like I would anywhere. About 20 minutes later, I saw my stop, got off, and was asked to present my ticket at the exit to show I paid. “Okay, no big deal”, I thought and handed the gentleman my ticket. He said I didn’t validate my ticket. Even though I had the receipt in hand he decided to write me a $60 ticket. I tried for 15 minutes to argue my case, but he wasn’t interested. Definitely a bad way to start the weekend.         

The mentality that everything will work out in the end has helped me let go of the things we can’t control and embrace the moment. In every seemingly horrible situation, ask yourself, “Will I live and will tomorrow be a new day?” Chances are the answer to both the questions will be yes and the situation will make for a good story. In most cases, you will learn something from everything bad that will happen to you abroad. Also just remember, you are abroad to explore and get out of your cookie-cutter life back home, enjoy the unexpected challenges and embrace every one of them. Everything’s gonna be okay!

MAKE A DECISION and be Okay with the Outcome

This theme was found throughout my entire experience studying abroad. I think the second part is the most important; anyone can make a decision, but the true gift is to be able to live with the outcome. Examples as simple as ordering a new dish at a Hungarian restaurant that you have never heard of and receiving something you couldn’t imagine, deciding which way to go when finding yourself lost in the old markets of Morocco, or contemplating which gift to buy a loved one at the Christmas markets in Prague. These examples all show the variety of decisions you will have to make abroad and that no matter the outcome, it is important to stand by your decision and just go with it. This idea will make your time abroad much simpler and more rewarding.

In America, or wherever your home is, most decisions you have are influenced by people around you or the media. In most cases when you are traveling, you don’t have people around you to influence you in any way, which is actually a great feeling. Some of the best experiences I had abroad were due to random decision making.

One of my favorite examples of this idea of decision making comes from surfing. In December, I had the opportunity to surf for the first time in Lisbon. When you surf, it is important to have an understanding of when to get on a certain wave and which wave to choose. I struggled with this at first, but as I watched other surfers I realized it was more about the joy of just being in the water than it was choosing the perfect wave. If you wait for the perfect wave it will never come. A lot of people have this “paralysis by analysis” mindset where they try to analyze every decision, and end up not making any because they can’t find the perfect answer. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow and you may end up making a life changing decision that will bring you happiness for years to come.

 

We are More ADAPTABLE & Less Complex than we think

Believe it or not, we are programmed for survival. Surviving doesn’t require much. Scientifically speaking (I’m not a scientist), the only reason we are living is to pass our DNA and allow the human race to continue. With that being said, we are much more adaptable and require a much simpler life than we think. So you can get over, as I did in Barcelona, the fact that dinner isn’t normally served until 9:00pm or that most apartments don’t have a dryer to dry your clothes.  Both are just cultural differences that make it enjoyable to travel to different places and experience different people.

We are seasoned by our cultural norms to believe that we need all these extravagant things to be happy. In reality we need very few material objects and true happiness comes from within. I traveled to almost every place I visited with a couple of shirts, socks, underwear, and a small bag of toiletries.  I, along with most of the people I traveled with, found my happiness from exploring the cities and interacting with the people in them, not looking good and feeling comfortable 24/7. This also means avoiding spending tons of money on lavish meals or nights out that could prevent you from traveling to other places because you blew through all your money. If you keep this minimalistic mentality the entire trip, you will come home realizing you don’t need half the material things you thought you did and learn to enjoy the little things in life.

Always BE CURIOUS, QUESTION ASSUMPTIONS & Break out of the Mold

Unfortunately, I have no funny or crazy story to tie to this point. This lesson is something everyone needs to discover for his or her self. Studying abroad has helped me understand the lesson behind these words. We have a limited time on this Earth and it is so much more fulfilling to live a life of enjoyment and wonder than it is to sit behind a desk your entire life wishing you could do something more.

What does it mean to live a life of fulfillment? What is true happiness? How can I achieve them? Traveling certainly isn’t the answer to those questions, but I think traveling will act as a stepping stone for people to find an answer. So go out there and be curious about the world, find something you enjoy doing and learn about every aspect of it. Question ideas that you have been told your entire life and make new assumptions. Break out of the mold and live the life you always dreamed of.

Thanks for reading and if you have any questions about my experience, ways to optimize your travel, or some places to go please reach out to me!

Sean