Life Lessons From High School Basketball Team Selection Season

Am I in, or am I out?

What does the coach think of me?

Will I share the court with my best friend?

These are some of the questions running through young athletes’ minds as high school basketball season approaches and coaches finalize team rosters.

It can be a stressful time for young men and women during a critical developmental stage, both in their lives and their athletic careers. But this annual rite of passage offers more than a spot on the team. It’s an opportunity to build character, resilience, and perseverance.

More Than Sports

A few of these young adults will make it to play in college; even fewer will make it to the pros. But for the vast majority of them, high school basketball will be the highlight of their athletic careers, as over 94% of these kids don't make it to the next level.

So why is this moment so important? Because it’s not just about making the team—it’s about how these young adults handle setbacks, potentially shaping how they face challenges for the rest of their lives.

As mentors, whether coaches or parents, we have a huge responsibility to guide them through these pivotal moments. How they react now could set the tone for how they handle adversity—or success—down the road.

For those kids who don’t make the cut or feel shortchanged, the message is simple yet powerful: In sports and life, you can’t always choose the circumstances, but you can always choose how to react. That’s your ultimate freedom as an athlete and as a human being.

You generally have two choices: fall victim to the situation, blame others, and sink into frustration, anger, and resentment—or take responsibility and use this as an opportunity to grow. The latter is the path of maturity.

When you blame the world, you’re giving away control—whether you realize it or not. When you take responsibility, even for circumstances that feel unfair, you reclaim that control. Now, you can take action and impact the outcome.

A Personal Example

My family and I learned this lesson the hard way. In 1995, at just 18 months old, my brother became paralyzed from the waist down after a spinal cord injury. He didn’t choose this fate, clearly, but he chose his response: to embrace the challenge and rise above it.

While my parents tried signing him up for activities that didn’t require much movement, like chess or computer science, he had other plans. He wanted to play sports at the highest level, just like my father and I, both athletes. Fast forward to 2019, and my brother became the #1 wheelchair tennis player in the world. He’s now a four-time Paralympian, a bronze medalist in the recent Paris Olympics, and has won several Grand Slam titles throughout his extensive tennis career.

He didn’t choose for the injury to happen, but he nonetheless chose to face it head-on, refusing to let adversity slow him down. Today, he’s happily married, makes a living playing the sport he loves, and delivers inspiring speeches worldwide by sharing his story.

Life can be tough at times, and we all face unexpected challenges. Whether it’s a life-changing event or the disappointment of not making the team when basketball feels like the world to you, obstacles are inevitable.

My brother’s journey reflects a choice we all must eventually make: how to respond when life throws the unexpected our way.

A Shared Responsibility

Sports are the greatest metaphor for life. We can’t always choose the cards we’re dealt, but we can still choose how to play our hand. If these young men and women, with the guidance of parents and coaches, can learn to make the most of any circumstance, no matter how difficult, they’ll develop skills that will serve them for the rest of their lives.

At this developmental stage, success in youth sports shouldn’t be measured by wins and losses, but by the personal growth and maturity these young athletes gain along the way.

It’s on all of us—coaches, parents, mentors—to guide them. Let’s use the challenges in sports to prepare them for life beyond the game.