A life lesson from a grafter

This is my daughter Ella.

She has just completed her GCSEs and has done an epic job.

We started celebrations with a slushy and an ice cream and will celebrate her massive achievement over the next week. For me, the achievement of completing the exams and staying sane is just as important as whatever results she gets in August.

The exam season is a pure test of a teenager’s mettle. 10 subjects. In depth detail. Recalling information from 2 years of learning. Some subjects you’ll be great at. Others you’ll be lousy at. More exams than you’ll ever do again in your life.

It’s not for the faint hearted.

But there’s something extra that Ella has learned this last year or so that has really impressed me and I wanted to share with you. She’s taught me some things.

Her school has had 20 days of teacher strikes this year. That’s a full month of no lessons. They’ve haemorrhaged staff. She’s been without a history teacher the entire year – her best subject. A few subs to fill in, but no real teaching. Last year she was without an English teacher. The school has rightly been downgraded from OFSTED “outstanding” to “requires improvement”. Not only has she had the GCSEs to contend with, she’s had the proverbial school rug pulled from under her feet.

Did she crumble?

No.

Here’s what she did, and here’s what Ella can teach you and me:

1.????? She was resilient

Circumstances were against her. She adapted. She didn’t let it get her down. She didn’t give up.

2.????? She asked for help

She asked for tutoring for Maths and English. Maths she hates, but she needs to pass. English she loves and can do really well in. Grandparents funded this for 6 months. She asked her uncle (teacher) to help her with history. She asked her grandma to help her with French and Biology. She was resourceful and found help outside of school.

3.????? She prioritised

Early on she decided which subjects were important and which were less important. She focussed her effort on the subjects where she could improve the most and where there was opportunity to do well. She’s not going to get top marks in all subjects considering the challenges she’s had. She will, however, pass them all and do well in many, particularly the subjects she wants to take at A-Level.

4.????? She didn’t stress about what she couldn’t control

Ella couldn’t control the teaching at the school. The lack of support would drive anyone crazy. But she didn’t let it get the better of her.

5.????? She controlled what she could control

Ella could control the time and effort put in. She put in lots of time. She also put in lots of effort. She took all the support she could get.

6.????? She grafted ?

Ella committed herself to studying intensely over 9 months. Late into the weekday evenings. At the weekends. She plugged away, bit by bit, and worked far harder than I did at her age.

So she’s done for now and has earned a well-deserved break. But as I was looking at this photo it made me very proud to think how Ella has shown real character during this time. They can’t teach you that in school.

And so I thought I’d share these lessons – I know I could take a leaf out of her book.

Resilience – do I give up easily when I hit a problem, or do I keep going?

Asking for help – where do I go for help? Who can help me?

Prioritisation – where do I waste time on low value tasks or activities?

Not stressing – do I worry about things I can’t control? How do I stop?

Being in control – what is in my gift to sort out? What is my responsibility?

Grafting – do I work hard? Do I work smart?