Life Lesson from a 6 Year-Old

Originally published on August 31, 2023 Read the original here

In the world of growth and self-discovery, sometimes the most powerful lessons surface from unexpected circumstances. Today, I want to share a story about my son, JP (Jean-Paul), that will resonate beyond his years and beyond the pool-side.

JP (Jean-Paul) didn’t really enjoy swimming before, had several failed attempts with swimming coaches over the past years. The mere idea of removing his floaters was met with hysterical resistance, fueled by the belief that he would inevitably sink. His words echoed the emotional turmoil he felt: "I cannnnoootttt, I will sink, I don't ever want to swim anymore." Until recently… here’s what happened:

We had together a full-day conversation by the pool-side trying to uncover his fears and concerns. And we were able to break it down into 3 core issues:

1-??? Trust: in the past, I made the mistake of pushing him in the pool before he was ready and that wasn’t a pleasant experience for him - at that time I thought that’s how he will learn just throw him out there and he will float… didn’t work obviously… This well-intentioned yet misguided act had not only left him traumatized but had also shattered his trust in the process.

This scenario resonates with many of us who have been let down by those we depended on. A trust once broken is often challenging to rebuild. How many times have we lost faith in someone who was meant to help us, vowing never to trust again?

2-??? Goal is too stretched: JP was overwhelmed and paralysed by the length and depth of the pool, and all he was thinking about was how in the world he was going to swim all that “I cannot”, yes heard that all day.

We've all faced situations where the magnitude of the task seemed insurmountable.

3-??? Fear of judgement: JP was embarrassed to even try “what will other kids say about me for not swimming well enough, they will laugh at me, they will say I am a baby,…”.

This fear of being laughed at, judged, or labelled is a familiar emotion. How often have we shied away from pursuing our dreams due to the opinions of others?

How many times have you lost trust in someone who was meant to help you and you swore you wouldn’t be trusting again. How many times have you said to yourself “I cannot do that” and how many times you preferred to keep your status quo, content with what you are/have for the fear of failure and from what “people” might say about you if you fail.
I bet more than you can count.        

And then what happened? How did the day end? Did he swim? YES he did, BIG TIME. Here’s how:

1-??? Trust matters, set expectations: I acknowledged my past mistake and emphasized that disappointments might happen, but it's essential to believe in the good intentions of others while always expecting an occasional exceptional letdowns.

Just as JP learned to view past letdowns as exceptions rather than rules, we too can approach new relationships and endeavours with optimism while being prepared for occasional setbacks.

2-??? If Goal is too stretched, break it down: we broke down the full length of the pool into small challenges and celebrated every win (and laughed off small failures): corners only at first and then width and then length and a lot of pool water was drank in the process ??.

Breaking big goals into manageable steps turns even the most daunting tasks into victories.

3-??? Opinions don’t define you: The fear of other people's opinions often holds us back. This is normal yet It's vital to remember that not all of them matter. Focusing on the opinions of those who truly care and contribute positively to our growth empowers us to disregard irrelevant judgment. We all have unique talents and abilities, and no one is perfect at everything.

Be kind to yourself, especially when you're learning something new.

Now apply it to yourself:
How can you rebuild trust in those around you while being prepared for moments of letdown? How can you break down your own monumental goals into smaller, more attainable steps? How can you stop allowing the fear of judgment to hinder your progress and instead focus on the opinions that genuinely matter? How can you channel a mindset shift to catalyse your own personal growth across different aspects of your life? How can you adopt a mindset that welcomes imperfections and sees them as stepping stones toward growth?        

JP transformed in a single day, yes in ONE single day, he didn’t want to leave the pool on that day and every day after, he jumped off a 3m-high diving board, he even wanted to teach his younger brother and other kids how to swim. But most importantly, he was so proud of himself, his confidence soared and for once wasn’t looking at me for validation and approval since deep inside him, his own opinion of himself, where he was and where he is now is all that mattered to him. His transformation wasn't confined to the pool; it extended to all aspects of his life during this summer and I can still see it. He’s now taking more risks, asking for new experiences and laughing (where he used to cry) at his small shortcomings. Amazing how a simple mindset shift can be a powerful catalyst for personal development – after all, sometimes, “it is all in our head”.

Oh, and guess what JP requested before he went to bed on that night?

JP: mami, now I want you to get me a swimming coach

Me: why? You are swimming now

JP: because I want to get even better

?Be like JP everyone, in more ways than one :)