Life and Leadership Changed... Over a Taco?

If you know me, you know I’m a foodie. But this isn’t a story about a life-changing taco—well, not exactly (maybe next time).

For most of my early career, I leaned on my Type “A” personality to get ahead. I was aggressive, disciplined, demanding, and impatient. I didn’t cut anyone any slack and expected 110% from everyone, all the time. If you couldn’t deliver or didn’t bring value, I had little use for you.

I’m embarrassed to admit this now, but I was proud to have earned the nickname “Rodzilla.” I had little empathy for anything but results. I entered every room and situation like a Tasmanian devil. I got things done and achieved a great deal of success, but it came at a cost I didn’t even recognize.

Of course, when you’re wired this way, it doesn’t turn on and off with work hours. This toxic personality style bled into my personal relationships as well. I had a select group of friends who “knew how I was” and, for some reason, tolerated my behavior (probably because of my amazing wife—or maybe my cooking). Sadly, I was proud of this accomplished but driven person I had become.

That is, until it all hit me like a freight train—a gut punch, a slap in the face, or whatever abrupt, harsh awakening you can imagine.

One morning, a salesperson who used to be a peer before I moved into management—a person I respected and called a friend—asked to meet me before work. He knew how to get my attention and said, “I need to talk to you. I’ll bring tacos.”

I greeted him with a smile and a “Good morning,” but I immediately sensed a somber and serious tone. He said, “I need you to listen to me... You really piss me off.” For the next several minutes, he told me that he couldn’t come to me for help when he needed it, fearing my reaction or ridicule. He shared how he would stay up for hours trying to solve a problem, knowing I could give him the answer in five minutes.

He pointed out that whenever he did talk to me, I was consumed with my phone, my email, and everything else going on around me. I would complete his sentences just to expedite the conversation and get back to whatever else I had going on. It was clear to him that I didn’t care about his problems. There was more, but you get the point.

I felt sick to my stomach. I was brought to tears by the pain I had caused him and horrified by the realization of what this meant about who I had become. This isn’t who I wanted to be.

We talked for a while. I apologized as sincerely as I ever have and committed with all my heart to being better. After that conversation, I spent the rest of the day and night reflecting on how many others felt this way but didn’t have the trust in me to share it. I committed to righting those wrongs wherever I could.

I would love to end this story by telling you I’ve been fully transformed into a patient and compassionate person, but that wouldn’t be true.

What I can say is that I am better and proud of the work I’ve done. I owe it all to prayer, good mentors, great friends, and a willingness to look in the mirror, be honest with what I see, and commit to improving. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.

I share this experience in the hope that someone else can benefit from my story. Surround yourself with people who will be honest with you, even when it’s not easy. Take time to look in the mirror long enough to truly see where you are and where you need to grow. Ask for help—from God, your friends, or your mentors. Challenge yourself to be better and leave someone else’s life better for having known you.

#Leadership #PersonalGrowth #SelfAwareness #CareerDevelopment #Mentorship #EmotionalIntelligence #ProfessionalDevelopment #WorkLifeBalance #Management #Empathy