Life - It's the Important Things...

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I am not usually one for oversharing or publicly discussing my private life, but a recent event has prompted me to open up and talk about what this personal event has taught me and hopefully give a prompt to any others that could find this useful.

I am a “relatively” fit and healthy 48 year old man and I assume like many of my peers have always felt pretty much bullet proof. My main experience with hospitals other than having my tonsils removed as a child has only been through forced visits necessitated by different sports injuries or the regular trips marking the various stages of parenthood. So, it did come somewhat as a shock when a couple of months ago I had a stroke.

A stroke! Now in fairness what I experienced was actually a TIA (Transient Aseismic Attack, commonly known as a mini-stroke) but still it was a stark and sudden reminder that in a moment, everything can change. This was a wake-up call that made me rethink what's truly important. I've come to truly understand that health is a precious gift, and it's one that we too often take for granted.

Suddenly my visits to the hospital had gone from routine to acute. I was no longer a visiting inpatient with a temporary issue that could be fixed with some stitches, pills and crutches, but I was now in for a series of pretty scary procedures and medical testing as the doctors now worked to make sure that the next event wasn’t fatal. (Quick shout out to the NHS by the way – a truly remarkable and amazing service for which we will never be able to show our true gratitude for!)

Now if I’m being honest, the signs had been there for a long time, but I chose to ignore them. I didn’t listen to the tell-tale signals my body had been screaming to me over the past few months and instead imagined that as it hadn’t let me down over the last 48 years, why would it now. Which as a logical thought process is true until it isn’t. But in reality, this should have been less of a surprise to me that it was at the time - statistics are not on my side. Black man generally present higher risk factors - high blood pressure, higher risk of cardiovascular disease, stress, high cholesterol - the list goes on. None of this however truly registered in my mind however as remember - I'm bullet proof, so it has taken me some time to come to terms with what happened.

But now with the benefit of a few weeks of reflection, I feel I can look back and fairly say that I don’t think this changed me fundamentally as person but what this event has done is to make me re-examine a few things. It has jolted me from the pursuit of personal and professional success and forced me to think about what truly matters. Amidst the fear and uncertainty, I feel a sense of clarity has emerged. It wasn’t the recognition of my peers or the next promotion that defined me; it was the love of my family, the depth of my relationships, and the simple joy of being present with those I cared about.

Work is undoubtedly essential. It provides purpose, financial security, and intellectual stimulation. But it shouldn’t come at the expense of our well-being. But within all that and as I think about how I want to live my life in the future, here are some of the lessons that I want to take forward with me:

The Importance of Self-Care

Ignoring the warning signs of my body was a mistake. It's a lesson I’ve learned the hard way. Self-care isn't just about physical health; it also includes mental and emotional well-being. It's about listening to our bodies, taking time for ourselves, and seeking help when needed.

Say No More Often

We often feel obligated to say yes to every request. But it’s crucial to learn to decline without guilt. This doesn’t mean becoming antisocial; it means protecting your time and energy for what genuinely matters.

Be Present

In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to be physically present but mentally absent. When with loved ones, truly connect. Put away distractions, listen actively, and create lasting memories.

Prioritize Work Tasks

Not all work is created equal. Focus on tasks that align with your career goals and bring value. Delegate or eliminate those that drain your energy and contribute little to your overall success.

The Value of Relationships

Amidst the fear and uncertainty of my health crisis, the love and support of my family and friends have been invaluable. It's a reminder that of what’s truly important and where we should all look to focus our mental energy on rather that the immeasurable constant distractions that vie for our attention. The connections we build with these important people in our lives are what gives our lives meaning and purpose.

Asking for Help

When faced with challenges, it's important to seek help. Whether it's from our loved ones, a healthcare professional, or a therapist, reaching out for support can make a significant difference in our lives.

This has been a difficult event for me, but it has also been a transformative one. It has reminded me the importance of health, relationships, balance, gratitude, and seeking help. This will be an ongoing journey for me from here and finding the right balance will be difficult, but I look at it as continuous progress. By making conscious choices and prioritizing what truly matters and embracing the lessons I’ve been taught I hope and feel it will help me live a more meaningful and fulfilling life.