LIFE-ing the Hard Way

You don't have to learn life lessons the hard way. It would be senseless to do so when there is a much more accessible alternative.

Sure, we're all unique, but we're not all that special.

When it comes down to it, as humans, we're all quite similar. We have a remarkable degree of genetic similarity, and not surprisingly, we share similar experiences. This is great news because you can save yourself time, money, and energy by learning lessons the easy way from those of us who have learned them the hard way.?

When I look at marketing leaders I've admired over the years, I sometimes feel their success took a linear path with boundless achievements and meteoric rises. Their names often appeared on prestigious lists like the Top 20 Under 20, Top 30 Under 30, and Top 40 Under 40—some have even been on all of them. My career trajectory took a different route. My journey has been what I affectionately call the illustrious long haul.?

Embracing the Illustrious Long Haul?

While some may reach remarkable milestones earlier in their careers, many of us embark on a long and winding path toward our goals.?

My success required sustained effort, persistence, and resilience over a longer period than some. But it is distinguished and notable nonetheless, mostly due to its tenure, complexities, and valuable experiences.?

Although I wouldn't change a thing, it would have been great to have learned some of the hard-learned lessons earlier in my career.

Here are some of those lessons I'd like to share with you:

It's not personal. It rarely ever is.

This one is hard, I know. We put everything into our work so it feels personal. Realizing it isn't about you personally but about someone's opinion on the work itself can help you detach the criticism from your self-worth. While criticism of your work may not be personal, it still feels a bit hurtful. The best thing to do is find a balance between being open to improvement and maintaining confidence in your abilities. Your worth extends beyond any single piece of work and any subjective opinions. Growth comes from learning and adapting based on the feedback you receive.

Imperfection is inevitable.

You won't escape imperfection, so you might as well make friends with it. What starts out as beneficial and necessary motivation can become destructive perfectionism if we aren't careful. Compulsively striving towards impossibly high standards can lead to self-criticism and negative judgment of oneself. And if you punish yourself for every mistake you make, it's impossible to be confident. Strive for perfection, but don't demand it. Know that your imperfections are valuable sources of information you can learn from.?

Those butterflies are your superpower. Literally!

This one was a hard-learned lesson for me. My biggest fear is public speaking. When I have to get up in front of people, and it can be any size audience, my body goes into some kind of hyperdrive—my heart starts racing, my palms start sweating, and those dreaded stomach butterflies appear. And in my mind, this was cause for worry! I'm so nervous; surely I'm going to fail. What my body is actually telling me is that it is ready to take my performance to a level never seen before. This gift of adrenaline makes us more alert, perceptive, and fully prepared to take on the task at hand. Choose to interpret nervousness as excitement; the underlying biology is the same, and now those butterflies are your superpower.?

Great things are happening that you just can't see.

One of my favourite authors is Malcolm Gladwell. In his book, "Outliers: The Story of Success," he suggests it takes about ten thousand hours of deliberate practice to achieve mastery in a particular field or skill. The missing part of the narrative is that there will be inconsistent and delayed returns on said practice. No matter how diligently we follow every deliberate practice guideline, we will experience plateaus when it seems we aren't improving at all. This plateau will be interrupted by a burst of improvement, followed by another plateau, followed by another burst, and on and on. Know that the path to success is not one of continuous improvement but rather one that is rocky and uncertain. Be patient with yourself; plateaus are a normal part of your professional growth.?

Confidence is fleeting.

Let's start with this working definition of confidence:

The feeling that you can do something (or know something) so well that you don't have to think about how to do it when you're doing it.?

But know this confidence isn't a constant. I wish it were. Unfortunately, it is incredibly fragile. But here in lies the lesson. Knowing valuable truths about confidence early can help build, protect, and apply it when necessary.?

The first truth, confidence isn't something that one is born with. It's not a - either you have it, or you don't. It is, in fact, quite different than that and a lot more helpful for some of us. Confidence is something that is learned. It is retaining your successful experiences and learning from those less successful experiences.?

The second truth, to remain confident, you need to pay it constant attention and effort. If you know you must continually build confidence, you will have a significant advantage over those who don't know this.?

Confidence has little to do with what happens to you and pretty much everything to do with how you think about what happens to you.?

These are some lessons I learned and valued along my career path. Your career path is yours; only you know what's best for you. But when a situation arises, I hope you remember these, and they help you seize the opportunities before you.?