Life Is Hard, So Love Yourself

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One thing I’ve learned in my 64 years is that life is hard. It just is. There’s no getting around it; sorry. The most you can hope for is that the hardest things don’t hit you until you have built up abilities to deal with them — some wisdom, some inner strength, someone to talk to, and some hope.

Life is hard. Health, relationships, school, jobs, family ... all take energy and patience to maintain even in the best of times. Throw in a few difficulties and it can be damned near impossible to overcome. And there are always difficulties. Peer pressure, depression, illness, accidents, the economy, the weather, crime, things outside our control. They never stop coming. It’s a miracle any of us is sane and functioning!

So how do you survive? The answer for me came when I discovered this quote: “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson.)?

It seems like even in Mr. Emerson’s day, people put so much importance on being happy that he felt he had to comment on it. No one can be happy all the time, and that’s OK. That was kind of a revelation to me! If your emotions are topsy-turvy, if you’re depressed or grieving or just unmotivated, is your life worthless, are you a failure, are you contemptible, are you doing something wrong? Of course not! ?

Your difficulties may shape you, but they don’t define you. Whatever you’re going through, you’re still a beautiful being,?and more precious than you could ever imagine! I think it took becoming a mom before I realized how incredible a human life is, and that was far too late. Every human soul is magnificent, including you. I wish everyone could learn and accept it.

When you come to see how precious you are, it’s the springboard to building the things that will keep you going – hope, wisdom, inner strength, friendship. I hope you won’t have to wait 60 years to discover it. Please start now!

I have a theory that if you Google “happiness” you might get more search results than for any other single word. It's a popular topic these days, with countless blogs, books and TikToks devoted to it. But if you believe Emerson, what's the point of fighting to be happy? Live your life right, and mostly happiness will come of its own accord. If you chase after it, it’s like a cat, it will just run from you. But sit peacefully and it will come and curl up in your lap.?

I don’t know what advice I can give to anyone. I’m a head-in-the-sand kind of person myself, who tries to avoid thinking about hard things … not the best way to live, but I always got overwhelmed easily by things. I’m still trying to do better because I deserve better. And, somehow, I — all of us — go on because all living things have an instinct to keep on living. We do what we can to continue putting one foot in front of the other.

You know that saying “be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle”? Just because you can’t see someone else’s hardships doesn’t mean they don’t exist. And you should know this is true, because you hide most of your own difficulties, right?

So, first of all, be kind to yourself. If you’re willing to be understanding and compassionate to others, don’t you deserve just as much as they do? You’re just as precious as anyone else.