Life is Hard. Handle Hard Better.

“We all wait in life for things to get easier…. It will never get easier. We handle hard better. “

A great quote from Kara Lawson, Duke Women’s Basketball Coach. Taken from a great speech she gave to her basketball team when it was time for them to toughen up.

Life is hard.

And yes, it will never be easy. But that’s OK. Handling hardships brings great satisfaction. Overcoming struggles in your career and becoming great at what you do is one of the most fulfilling things life can bring you. Setting tough, challenging goals and meeting them will bring you happiness. Having a purpose in life that helps others overcome their challenges will bring you purpose and meaning. We all have to accept that life is hard, and not the reason we are unhappy or unfulfilled.

Progress is the key to Happiness.

Life is a funny thing… you actually might be better off in life seeking out the hard things. There are times I’ve coasted and I always ended up feeling miserable. On the other hand, the times I pushed and worked hard, the progress made me feel better. The moment the feeling of progress stops, we feel stuck – and miserable – because ultimately, I believe progress is the key to happiness.

Life is a rollercoaster.

I’ve had a blessed life so far and feel very fortunate to have what I have. But it has been a rollercoaster. I remember one of my first million dollar projects early in my career. I managed a major eCommerce project for a household name retailer that was way over budget and months late. I felt like a complete failure.

I remember speaking with my mom about it. She’s passed now and I miss her. Her love and support would always bring me up. One of my favorite memories and quotes from her were 4 simple words she said in her broken English having been born in Poland:

“Life not too easy” - Frances Zujewski

Yah, her English wasn't the best. Her point was that I was being too hard on myself. I was worrying way too much about things that were solvable or that I would overcome. She was right of course. Launching a billion dollar shopping site was not easy in 1999. I had to accept that the project was difficult and deal with that hard fact, and not wallow in sadness. Just work harder and smarter and deal with it. Find the root cause and address the core issues.

My Dad was there for me as well when times got tough. He had some classic quotes of his own.

“Don’t be a chicken” - Boleslaw Zujewski

That’s some good old fashioned tough love. He was right. He and my mom lived paycheck to paycheck. They had family killed in World War II. They lost brothers and sisters to illness. They came to America with no money, no job. They were not looking for the easy path. They were looking for the better path.

Change your mindset.

We all control how we think and we can all create our own mindsets. I never complain anymore about the tough hands I’m sometimes dealt. I stop. Remember that life is hard. Start working on a solution. It's a mindset.

I know, when I figure out how to solve the current problem, I will feel better. In fact, most things worth doing in life are hard. If you’re coasting in life and not challenging yourself, you’re not only doing yourself a disservice, you’re going down a path that will likely not create the fulfillment you likely want out of life.