A life of drama is a life half-lived

Why are there so many tensions in your relationships?

You know what I mean right?

You are in the office and the girl you are seeing texts you something apparently innocuous.

Maybe you can sense something is off, but you still answer in the most logical way there is.

She writes something passive aggressive out of the blue.

Before you know, you get dragged in a seemingly futile argument over why the fact that you didn't put the toilet seat up means that your relationship doesn't work, it doesn't matter the stage of such relationship.

Of course, the texting keeps going for the next days:

Depending on a variety of factors like your empathy and self-esteem, the best case scenario is that you see each other, some discussion takes place and things go back to normal.

For now.

In the worst case scenario she doesn’t want to see you anymore, for reasons that will remain obscure to you for the rest of your days.

Maybe you are at a date, the atmosphere is good, you say something that comes into your mind and all of a sudden she closes up and becomes cold toward you.

Keeping the conversation going is now a burden for you to drag.

Or maybe you are having some decent sex, you’re apparently enjoying each other, but for some reason she really doesn’t come.

No matter what trick you pull out of your sleeve, it’s just not gonna happen.

You can decide here whether to pretend everything is all right and keep going, after all you’re enjoying yourself, or so you think, or ask what’s wrong.

In this second case the textbook answer from her is “nothing”.

Good luck figuring that out in a reasonable time now.

I could make many more examples, but i'm sure you get the gist:

apparently, when it comes to women, there's a random "drama" factor that just happens here and there, bringing up tensions that jeopardize the relationship.

How often do you find yourself in situations like these?

Do you assume it's a normal thing?

And let me guess, if you believe these situations are normal and tension in relationships is endemic (meaning, it is part of the package) you probably are not even that motivated in finding other women to invite in your life.

Who’s got time for all that drama?

Not me for sure.

As you can read from my banner, I help guys have “drama-free” relationships.

I did not put it there by chance.

This IS an issue lots of people face (myself included back in the days) that CAN BE ERASED from your relationships.

(*terms and conditions apply, your ego might suffer from this)

Let me explain:

Drama exists because you lie.

Plain and simple.

Think about it:

What is a drama at the core?

It’s a play, like in the theatre (duh).

You both wear a mask and play a character.

You both know there is something deeper causing the tension, some insecurity that one is feeling and the other doesn’t feel comfortable facing.

But none of you two is willing to go there.

You prefer putting up the mask and pretend that the issue is about something else, hoping that at a certain point someone will win the argument, the other will give up and everything will be good again.

All this going in circles and avoiding the source drains both of you, adding up to the stress from all the other drama you gotta face in your daily life.

Drama happens in family, in the office, with your friends.

The dynamic is always the same.

How do you get out?

The only way is to tell the truth about what you want and why, without expecting the other person to comply, approve nor disapprove.

You MUST go deep on this.

If you don’t, this part of you that you refuse to acknowledge will find a way to come up and create drama again.

It doesn’t matter how much time passes or how many partners you change.

Jung said "what you resist, persists".

This is what he was referring to.

If you resist letting out your tiny little insecurity,

your childish attachment, your need to be recognized,

to be considered special,

to be right,

to be accepted,

to be loved

that insecurity will persist in causing you anger, jealousy and fear that will overtake you and push you to either create the drama you're familiar with...

or react to the drama that someone else mirroring your insecurity is causing.

Mind this is not easy work.

If it was, the world would look very different.

It requires a lot of self-awareness and confidence to do it.

Also another thing, called vulnerability.

This is the secret ingredient.

Please don't tell anybody.

It is not by chance that these things are the pillars of what I teach to my students.

Do you know what a drama-free life looks like?

Can you even imagine that?

It would be hard, especially if you never tried it.

It looks like this:

You want something and you get it.

An issue comes up, both people open up about it and it stops being an issue.

Both usually happen quick.

That's all.

Amazing right?

For how long can you still afford to have drama in your life?

If you did some emotional accounting on yourself, you would easily realize it's definitely time to let go of it.

And for this, you came to the right place my friend.

Send me a dm and let’s get to work.