Life after Job

I had posted an article Life of Hardcore Tester. I was thinking about what happens after coming to home. Frustrated with his everyday life, an IT Professional called up his friend one night. The following conversation took place-

IT Guy: "Dude, I need to talk to you, why aren't you picking my calls?"

Friend: "Is everything all right?"

IT Guy: Are you fucking kidding me? Nothing is all right! Look at the time..., its 11pm! And I just came from office! No food. I was stuck in traffic. Now, I will have to cook! From the past some days I am eating only Rice, and that too because it was re-introduced in the market. What I ate before that I can’t tell you, because even I don't know! 

On the other hand, my Manager and my project… they both eat my mind every day! No hike shit happens every day.

Friend: "What happened? What are you talking?!?"

IT Guy: "What am I talking? I am not allowed to! Managers don't allow anyone to talk except the client, who always has something to talk about. From the past 3 months I have only been listening. For the past 3 months I haven't taken any leaves. And for the past 3 weeks I have been begging for one damn leave. And what a response I got! My manager said – “Why you want to waste an important day of your life??”

Friend: "Ok… Dude Cool"

IT Guy: "Are you fucking kidding me? How can I be cool?? For relaxation, people do yoga; but I am not Ramdeo Baba and my body is already broken! So I can’t."

Friend: Watch movies, but It really irritates me!

It Guy: Everyone is faking in TV, fake news, fake stories, fake Swayamwars, and fake reality shows. Talk about Intolerance, Secularism, Fake Dowry cases etc.

In 3 Idiots' starting scene, Madhvan does the drama to leave his flight, then what happened to his luggage??

And I still don’t know why was Bahubali killed by Kattappa?

Friend: "Hey stop it now!"

IT Guy continues: "Am I a BMTC bus who can be stopped, by shouting hold madi?

I need to cool down…10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

I also want girlfriend yaar, like my others have - Smita, Rashmi, rina, mina. Any one from my neighbour is on, but they all are engaged, you know why?? Because, their boyfriends do not work in IT companies!! Other girls do chat with me, but only on the day of my Salary!

Friend: "Hey man, please stop, we will talk in the Morning."

IT Guy: "Morning? Are you talking the same morning, when the Sun rises, bird flies, omelet fries, employee cries... damn!! I haven't seen the Sun, for 2 years! How it looks like?!? Every morning I run to catch the BMTC, to reach my broken chair, bus stop to chair and chair to a bus stop.

I don’t understand how can my manager be so nice to all my colleagues but not me sala muje koi samaj hi nahi saka..!!!

I am bored with "It's my sister's marriage"! One of my colleague's 9 sisters got married in the last 2 years, these reasons for leave approvals.

When I need a hike, I am a Junior; I still need to grow. But when I make mistakes, he says - 'Dude you are a senior now, you can’t make mistakes!'

Friend: (Out of passion) I will kill you, please stop your nonsense.

IT Guy: "Wait! I called you… you know previously I was normal, when I was in college, I used to talk continuously whatever I wanted, but now all I do is keep repeating the same things - 'Yeah, it’s done', 'that work is completed', 'Please..', 'Good Morning', 'Lunch', 'Tea', 'Snacks' 'BBYE'. I will again start my day tomorrow like I start every day. Good-night!"

beep... beep... beep The line goes dead!

Then,

Manager: Good Morning bro,

IT Guy: "Yes sir, a new project (I guess)!!"

Manager: "I approved your leaves… I think you should go and have some fun!"

The IT Guy reached home and chilled with friends for getting leaves.

"And Alarm rings"

Stay Tuned @Nishant for more alarms.