Life After Death Scrolling

It's been 43 days since I last used. Withdraw wasn't bad initially, but quickly I started jonesing for a swipe. I found myself nervously reorganizing the apps on my home screen to fill the void and curb my scrolling appetite. I am not a smoker, I drink infrequently, and I'm not a junkie. I am a recovering #doomscroller.

3 Things That I'm Learning In Recovery.

1. Friends, family, and colleagues that actually value you will pick up the phone and have a conversation.
2. I'm not missing out on anything.
3. I'm more focused in my work.

I'm here to admit that I habitually clocked hours at a time endlessly scrolling through Instagram Reels and TikTok videos. Dancing, dogs, and fútbol were my kinks. Sometimes I'd find a dog dancing with a soccer ball and that was exhilarating. I would jump down rabbit holes of beekeeping, soap cutting, and joint popping. It felt good.

I was curating my feed and I was only being served the content that I wanted. I began to really appreciate the ads. The networks had figured me out. Soccer jerseys, fashionable sneakers, music production masterclasses, filmmaking apps, and bespoke five panel hats. I was in control. The algorithm was working for me.

Sometimes I'd find a dog dancing with a soccer ball and that was exhilarating.

As a #documentary #filmmaker I study and reference lots of films. Several months ago I finally made my way to The Social Dilemma on Netflix. Watching the film was an out of body experience. It was an intervention. It's not that I was naive, I was apart of the The Algorithm. As a former commander in the advertising industry I was on the front lines of making content for The Algorithm. The more clicks and tricks we could make and measure for our clients the more we would be rewarded! Advertising has been very good to me. It has given me a platform to grow my career and family. I have nothing but love for the Ad game. However, I had become numb to my own consuming behaviors. I had lost self-awareness and I was hiding my social media addiction under the facade of market research and trend-spotting. How could I be a thought leader if I wasn't in the know on the latest dance craze, fashion faux pas, and hashtag? The Social Dilemma was a wake up call for me. It reminded me that I'm not in-control. As long as I kept shooting up Insta-grams, I was living under the influence.

I was hiding my social media addiction under the facade of market research and trend-spotting.

After my sobering intervention, I was ready to take control. I set up social media app limits via Screen Time on iPhone. I granted myself 15 minutes of social mania per day. Once I hit my limit the app would kindly remind me, but then offer me just a few more grams. It also gave me a choice to ignore the limit for the rest of the day. Just one more click. Just one more dose of best friend puppies and ducks and I'll turn it off.

The Screen Time moderation strategy worked for several days, but then I began to tap the ignore button way too often. So I increased my daily allowance to 30 minutes. It was for work, it was research, how could I be a marketing maverick without that precious screen time? This is how addiction works. You make up shit to justify your habit. Ultimately I realized that I had to take drastic action. So on July 12th 2002 I deleted the apps.

I'm not perfect. Everyday I'm tempted to swipe and like. This post makes me a hypocrite because I know there is a part of me looking forward to the likes and comments that might follow. I'm crossing my fingers that I might trend. So far boring content like this keeps me from getting addicted to LinkedIN. If this post is helpful great. If you call bullshit that is fine too. So it goes.