Life after death ?

Its that wonderful time of the year again filled with movies, lovely dinners, parties and extra time celebrating being with friends and family. For a lot of people this will be the best time of the year but for others this can be the hardest. With everything that is going on in the world right now life feels even more heavier than it normally does. So before I start my blog I am sending everyone the biggest hug right now and I am praying for peace all around the world.

I have mixed emotions this year, I am such a Christmas girly as you all know I love everything that comes with Christmas I normally start celebrating from September I cant lie! but I can’t help but feel that since the loss of my mother I really am trying to force the excitement of the holiday. I am trying to keep the magic there for me and my dad. Making Christmas lists and thinking about decorating the whole house just to try and keep it the same but its not and its hard to wrap my head around. Its strange when you lose someone so close to you a piece of you is missing and you almost lose yourself because of it.

I have been through some really difficult situations this past year which have been hard for me to process without my mum by my side. I am definitely at the stage of my grief where I am going through different events in my life where I would love to call and tell my mum but unfortunately she’s gone and I dont have the luxury of her being around me anymore. It’s so hard to not have your mum by your side holding your hand or on the other end of the phone just to check in.

Losing a parent is honestly one of the hardest moments people go through in life no matter how old you are the grief is something you can’t ever explain.

I can’t believe this is my second Christmas without my mum, where has the time gone? It feels like she’s been gone forever but its only been 14 months. There are times where I feel like I’m coping I can face the world and get up and smash the day, I’m managing and then the smallest thing will hit me and I take 20 steps back and want to hibernate for a week. Which is completely fine! but I really do feel like it’s the craziest rollercoaster I have ever been on and I know it hasn’t really even started yet.

Since the loss of my mother I have been really focused on selfcare and putting myself first, making sure my mental health is all in order and that I am eating and sleeping properly. It’s so easy to just stay in bed, not shower or eat and just let the world go by whilst you stay in your room and not move. I have done this more times than you can imagine but I am learning that I need to face all of these emotions and not hide from them. Learn and accept that I have been through one of the toughest things I will possibly go through in life and its okay to have bad days but to not shy away from it and allow myself to feel and to not let it consume me as much as it does.

Sometimes I feel like our minds are our biggest enemy we allow all of our thoughts and negativity to take over and it really can get the better of you if we don’t nip it in the bud quick enough. I have a lot of people who message me on all different platforms explaining they feel the same or they have felt the same due to the same or other circumstances. Let me just say we are ALL in this together. The world may feel like a lonely place but trust me there will always be people around to support and listen whenever you need it.

You are important and you matter, life can be wonderful if we allow ourselves to love the simple things in life again like going for a walk in the park and embracing nature or sitting in a coffee shop and enjoying your favourite hot or cold drink. We have lost touch of what’s important in life and it’s about time we all took a step back and appreciated what we have instead of what we don’t have.

This blog is a little random but I will always be honest with how I feel and try to encourage you that everything you are feeling is temporary and you will be happy again just trust the process??