Life Advice for My Son When He is in His Mid-Twenties

This post addresses the question, "What life advice would you give to someone in their mid-twenties?".

The mid-twenties are a pivotal and challenging time, filled with significant professional and personal development. As someone who mentors product managers and provides guidance to young adults, I often address the question, "What life advice would you offer someone in their mid-twenties?" Thinking ahead, I consider the advice I'd give to my own son when he reaches this stage two decades from now—he's only 3 at the moment. In an era where digital platforms flood us with diverse advice, I aim to share core insights derived from my own experiences. My intent is to ground this advice in real-life scenarios I've encountered, demonstrating their impact. This approach is not about offering new wisdom but about providing practical guidance that can serve as a reliable compass for navigating the complexities and opportunities of the mid-twenties.

Follow Your Curiosity

In your mid-twenties, every day offers a chance to learn. Seize these opportunities, and remember that mistakes are part of the journey. Learning is ongoing, and often, failures teach us more than successes.

At the start of my career, still in university studying telecommunications engineering, an opportunity arose that was entirely off my planned path. My friend Ahmad Hasnain introduced me to DUNYA NEWS , a new TV channel that was about to launch in Pakistan. Despite my engineering background, and having never envisioned myself in journalism, I was open to exploring this new field. The motivation wasn't just financial—though I was funding my education through loans and didn't want to impose further on my family—but also a genuine interest in learning something different.

My education in Urdu medium schools hadn't prepared me for writing professionally in English, a key requirement for the job. Despite this, I applied, driven by a combination of need and curiosity. Surprisingly, I was hired, possibly because minhaj S. and the journalist who interviewed me saw potential I wasn't aware of.

Training under Zabeen, a journalist, we learned the ins and outs of writing compelling news stories and blog posts. I embraced this learning opportunity wholeheartedly, even picking up Adobe Photoshop to edit images for our stories—a skill outside my initial expertise. This adaptability paid off, and I quickly began to outperform peers who had been educated in some of Lahore's top English medium schools.

Within six months, I was promoted to team lead, despite starting with limited English and graphic design skills and lacking professional experience. This early challenge in my career taught me the value of embracing new opportunities and learning from them, a principle that has guided me ever since.

Take Risks

Your mid-twenties are an ideal time to embrace calculated risks. This could mean changing your career path, relocating, or even starting your own business. This phase in your life often comes with a level of flexibility and fewer personal and financial obligations, allowing for bold moves that may not be as feasible later on. It's essential to weigh the risks, but also crucial not to let fear deter you from pursuing meaningful opportunities.

During my own twenties, I faced several crossroads that demanded taking risks. Despite having a loan to pay off and being responsible for contributing to my family's income, my lack of major personal commitments allowed me to explore opportunities that were riskier but offered greater potential rewards. One significant moment came when I was working at GreenTech, focusing on Search Engine Optimization (SEO) and Digital Marketing . An opportunity at LiveAdmins LLC arose through a connection aware of my expertise in SEO. This new venture promised not just a job but a chance to impact small businesses significantly, leveraging the power of organic online traffic—a potential I had already seen in action.

Choosing to join LiveAdmins meant leaving a stable job and accepting a lower salary, a risk I was willing to take for the prospect of building something of my own on the side. Alongside my friend Hasnain, and introduction to the first client by Muhammad Nawaz I started OH Marketing Ltd. from scratch, navigating the challenges without external funding. This decision led to a period of substantial professional growth, eventually attracting an offer from Telenor to join their digital team on a pioneering e-business platform project. Despite the uncertainty surrounding the project's funding and moving to Islamabad where I knew almost no one except Moin uddin , I seized the opportunity. This move proved to be transformative, propelling me into a professional environment rich with opportunities that I might have missed had I chosen to play it safe.

Taking risks, especially in your twenties, is not just about the possibility of immediate success but about the long-term growth and opportunities that such decisions can unlock. Whether it leads to a thriving career or valuable lessons learned, the experience itself is often worth the leap.

Invest in Meaningful Relationships

Fostering strong relationships with family, friends, and colleagues is crucial. The effort you put into these connections now forms a support network that will stand by you for years. Genuine engagement and dedication to these bonds are key.

I'll be the first to admit that maintaining relationships has not always been my strong suit, yet the value of doing so has been a significant lesson in my life. To my son and anyone in their mid-twenties, I stress the importance of this aspect. Investing in relationships is among the most rewarding endeavors you can pursue.

My journey is filled with instances where relationships have played a pivotal role. From my friend Jawad encouraging me to pursue my educational goals in Lahore against my father’s will, to friends and family providing unwavering support during challenging times, each person has left an indelible mark on my path. Opportunities such as joining Dunya News were unlocked through connections like Ahmad Hasnain . My venture into LiveAdmins was facilitated by a university batchmate, Waris, and later, starting OH Marketing Ltd. was possible due to an introduction to the first customer, Hardee’s, by Muhammad Nawaz .

Even when moving to a new professional landscape with Telenor in Norway, references from colleagues within the Telenor Group likely aided my transition, reflecting the trust-based nature of Norwegian society. My co-founders for a subsequent entrepreneurial venture were met through a serendipitous connection at Startuplab .

These experiences underscore a truth I've come to appreciate: the strength of our relationships can guide and support us in ways we might not anticipate. For instance, moving to Norway, a vastly different culture from Pakistan, was made smoother by the early support from colleagues like Terje Svendsen and Julia Paulsen . Such gestures of inclusion have been instrumental in my adaptation and success.

The essence of my message is this: While I might not have always prioritized nurturing my relationships, the benefits I've reaped from them are immeasurable. Whether it was assistance in settling into a new city or finding co-founders for a venture, the impact of these relationships on my life's trajectory has been profound. Therefore, I urge you to place a high value on cultivating and maintaining your relationships. It's the most substantial investment you can make, with dividends that extend far beyond the immediate.

Manage Your Finances Wisely

Prioritizing financial management early on is crucial. Developing a habit of budgeting, saving, and even exploring investment avenues can set a solid foundation for future financial stability.

My journey to financial prudence was significantly influenced by my mother's early lessons on saving. She instilled in me the practice of keeping an emergency fund, a habit that proved its worth during unexpected situations, like the time I missed a college trip bus and had to rely on hidden emergency money to get home. Despite being adept at saving, I lacked formal financial education, which limited my understanding of investment opportunities beyond traditional avenues like real estate or gold, prevalent in Pakistan due to cultural and religious beliefs.

It wasn't until 2015, when an opportunity to invest in an apartment on installments presented itself, that I took a significant financial leap. Despite the uncertainty of how I would manage the installments with my salary from Telenor Pakistan, I was motivated by the belief that aiming high and making an effort could align the universe in my favor, a philosophy passed down from my mother. This investment, while not yielding a high return, was a pivotal moment of courage and a testament to my savings discipline.

The real turning point in my investment journey came at 32, catalyzed by a colleague Cailin S. who introduced me to the book "The Intelligent Investor" by Ben Graham. This opened up the world of stocks and mutual funds to me, showing that investing was accessible even with modest amounts. I adopted a passive investment strategy, focusing on mutual funds, a decision that has been rewarding.

Later in life, my colleague and friend Alexander Remen introduced me to the concept of using leverage to your advantage if you have the discipline to invest that into productive assets. He suggested to maximize your mortgage since that’s the cheapest loan available as long as you use it wisely. This contrarian view has helped me so far.?

Looking back, I wish I had embraced these financial practices earlier. There were investment opportunities even within my earlier constraints; what was missing was the guidance and encouragement to explore them. The lesson here is clear: manage your finances wisely from the start, embracing budgeting, saving, and investing as pillars of your financial health.

Take Care of Your Health

Prioritizing your health, both physical and mental, is crucial. Engaging in a healthy lifestyle that encompasses a balanced diet, consistent exercise, and attention to mental well-being is essential for long-term health benefits.

Reflecting on my own experiences, the significance of health wasn't apparent to me in my mid-twenties. During that time, my schedule was packed with work and studies, often sacrificing sleep and physical activity for the sake of productivity. For years, I maintained a routine that left little room for rest or exercise, focusing solely on career ambitions. It wasn't until facing personal loss and observing health challenges within my family that I truly understood the importance of health.

The loss of my mother at 63 was a wake-up call, prompting me to reevaluate my lifestyle choices. This led me to adopt healthier habits, such as improving my diet, prioritizing sleep, resuming physical activities like strength training and sports, and starting intermittent fasting. These changes not only enhanced my physical fitness but also my mental clarity and focus.

Before this shift, I noticed a decline in my energy levels, often feeling lethargic and unproductive after work. This was a stark contrast to the vitality of my younger years. Neglecting health can lead to a range of issues, from muscular pains due to poor posture and sedentary habits to more serious health conditions that can significantly impact the quality of life.

The realization that health is the foundation of happiness, regardless of one's career success or financial status, was profound. No amount of professional achievement or material wealth can compensate for the absence of good health. Therefore, I urge those in their twenties to recognize the value of their health and to make conscious efforts to maintain it. It's a lesson that's best learned early, setting the stage for a fulfilling and vibrant life.

Find a Mentor

Securing a mentor can profoundly influence your career trajectory. Look for individuals who embody the success you aspire to achieve, and don’t hesitate to reach out for guidance, advice, and connections. A mentor’s insight can be a powerful catalyst for growth and opportunity.

In the early stages of your career, especially in your mid-twenties, the concept of finding a mentor can seem daunting. However, mentors can be more accessible than you might think—whether it’s a manager, a friend, a relative, or a professional idol, simply making the effort to reach out can open doors. Throughout my career, I've been fortunate to have my managers as mentors who have significantly shaped my path.

For instance, Farrukh Azhar at LiveAdmins was invaluable as he recognized leadership qualities in me, pushing me into roles that broadened my perspective and skill set. This kind of mentorship encouraged me to embrace my strengths as a generalist and a leader, rather than confining myself to a specialist role.

Areej Khan at Telenor improved my communication skills and taught me the nuances of stakeholder management, while Usman Javaid , after his entrepreneurial stint, offered me critical advice during challenging times. His insights on viewing setbacks as learning opportunities and the importance of building a network were instrumental in navigating my career.

Tor-Arne Fosser at Telenor Digital provided a crucial lesson in the art of influencing without authority, especially when interacting with various business units. This skill has been invaluable in navigating complex corporate landscapes and fostering collaboration across different teams. Arild Nilsen offered another profound insight: the futility of judging past decisions without the impossible benefit of hindsight provided by a time machine. He emphasized the importance of embracing the outcomes of one's decisions, both positive and negative, without dwelling in regret. James Micklethwait taught me the art of figuring out a way to make things happen even when they seem daunting at first. These teachings have been instrumental in developing a forward-thinking mindset and a pragmatic approach to decision-making, focusing on learning and growth rather than being hindered by the past.?

The encouragement and objective viewpoints provided by mentors can reshape your career. Gunnar Robert Sell?g , despite not offering me a job I was interviewing for initially, suggested I deepen my product management expertise, which later led to significant career advancements. His willingness to mentor me, despite initial rejections from others, demonstrated the value of persistence in seeking mentorship.

The relationships built through mentorship are not just about receiving guidance; they’re about learning from someone's experience and leveraging their knowledge to avoid common pitfalls and accelerate your career progress. My journey, enriched by mentorship, led me from initial setbacks to co-founding a company and eventually joining Kahoot! , marking pivotal shifts in my career.

Don’t underestimate the power of mentorship. It can provide invaluable insights, open up networks, and offer support through various stages of your career. Remember, the key is to reach out and ask—more often than not, people are willing to help.

Set Goals, but Stay Adaptable

Establishing both short-term and long-term goals is essential for guiding your path forward. However, it's just as important to remain flexible and open to change, as life's unpredictability often requires us to adjust our aims.

From an early age, I harbored ambitions of starting a software business, a dream that I revisited throughout various stages of my career. This long-standing goal fueled my entrepreneurial ventures, including the founding of OH Marketing at 25 and later participating in the Ignite incubator program at Telenor. Each step in my career, from joining Telenor to co-founding Diffia , was a strategic move to acquire new skills and experiences that edged me closer to my entrepreneurial aspirations.

Yet, my journey hasn't been linear. Recognizing the need to adapt, I've made pivotal changes along the way. For instance, when Telenor offered me an opportunity, I took it, seeing it as a chance to gain valuable corporate experience and credibility, which I assumed were crucial in the absence of venture capital support in Pakistan. Similarly, when Diffia didn't pan out as hoped, I transitioned to Kahoot!, a decision that furthered my learning and expanded my professional network.

These shifts underscore the importance of staying adaptable in the pursuit of your goals. I've always viewed my career through the lens of entrepreneurship, using each job to build towards that ultimate objective. Yet, I remained open to reevaluating my path, making strategic pivots when necessary. This blend of goal-oriented focus and flexibility has been instrumental in navigating the complexities of my career. It's a reminder that while it's crucial to have goals, being adaptable is equally important in achieving success and fulfillment.

Develop a Work-Life Balance

Achieving a healthy work-life balance is essential, though challenging. It's vital to remember that your worth extends beyond your professional achievements. Cultivate interests outside work, spend quality time with family and friends, and remember that personal well-being is paramount.

My journey toward realizing the importance of work-life balance has been far from straightforward. There were instances, like when my son was born prematurely and I found myself conducting work meetings from the hospital, that underscored my skewed prioritization toward work. Similarly, a trip to Pakistan during the COVID-19 pandemic intended for family time was overtaken by work commitments, leading to a profound regret; it was the last time I would be with my mother before her passing. These moments highlighted the critical misstep of letting work consume my life at the expense of invaluable personal time.

However, experiences like these served as a wake-up call, leading me to reevaluate my priorities. While I passionately love my work, I recognized the danger of allowing it to define my entire existence. Inspired by the book "10% Entrepreneur," I started to diversify my interests. This included launching this newsletter, venturing into angel investing, and dedicating time to hobbies like reading and sports. These steps were my way of ensuring that my identity and fulfillment weren't tied solely to my professional success.

The term "work-life balance" might imply a false sense of equilibrium, suggesting that an equal distribution of time and energy across all life aspects is achievable or even desirable. In reality, life demands flexibility, with different phases requiring us to prioritize differently. For instance, taking a five-month parental leave was a pivotal decision for me, offering a break from work for the first time in years and allowing precious bonding time with my son.

This experience taught me the value of being present and making the most of irreplaceable moments. It also highlighted the importance of phases in life where prioritizing personal time and relationships is not just beneficial but necessary.

Therefore, while striving for a so-called "balance," it's more about making conscious choices that align with your current life phase and priorities. Understanding that it's okay to shift focus as needed is key to maintaining a fulfilling life both inside and outside of work.

Pay it Forward

Contributing to the community and helping others is essential, offering benefits both to society and to oneself. Even when I was younger and didn't consider myself particularly successful or financially capable, I recognized the immense value of giving my time. Time is the most precious asset one has, surpassing material wealth in importance. You can make a significant impact by volunteering your time to support those around you or those less fortunate.

This understanding deepened as I observed the importance of being present and offering support, a lesson I learned from my mother. Despite not having vast educational or financial resources, she was an exceptional listener, often providing comfort and advice to those in her community. This ability to listen and empathize made a profound difference in many lives, including mine.

As I progressed in my career and began to accumulate savings, I embraced the opportunity to pay it forward financially as well. This philanthropic spirit was something I inherited from my mother, who, despite our modest means, always found ways to help others. Her generosity was not diminished by our humble financial situation; if anything, it underscored the importance of giving regardless of one's circumstances.

I've strived to embody this principle by being available to mentor, advise, or simply listen to those seeking guidance. Additionally, I've engaged in charitable giving especially for education of girls in Pakistan, aiming to impact positively where I can. My belief is that these acts of kindness are returned in unexpected ways, enriching my life far beyond the material.

Paying it forward is a principle that has profoundly shaped who I am and how I interact with the world. It reinforces the idea that generosity does not require wealth or success; it's a choice that everyone can make, contributing to a cycle of kindness and support that benefits us all.

Cultivate Self-Awareness

Understanding oneself is a crucial aspect of personal development. It's about recognizing your strengths, acknowledging your weaknesses, understanding your core values, and identifying what genuinely makes you happy. Self-awareness is the foundation for building a life that truly reflects who you are and aligns with your aspirations.

My journey towards self-awareness took a significant turn when I participated in a leadership training program at Telenor. This experience was transformative because it was my first exposure to an environment that heavily invested in developing its employees beyond just technical skills. The training provided me with tools and prompts that encouraged deep self-reflection, helping me to articulate my strengths, pinpoint my weaknesses, and clarify my values.

One particularly impactful moment came when I was applying for the 美国麻省理工学院 Entrepreneurship Bootcamp. The application process challenged me with questions about my vision for the future, my personal values, and my understanding of my place in the world. These questions prompted a level of introspection I hadn't previously experienced, pushing me to critically assess and articulate my aspirations and beliefs.

Through these experiences, I learned the importance of self-awareness in personal and professional growth. Being self-aware not only boosts confidence in one's abilities but also enables you to manage perceptions effectively, avoid repeating past mistakes, and make decisions that align with your core values. It also equips you to recognize the impact of your actions on others and navigate your personal and professional life more effectively.

Ultimately, cultivating self-awareness is a continuous process that involves introspection, feedback from others, and a willingness to adjust your path as you gain deeper insights into your character and aspirations. It's a journey that can lead to a more fulfilling and authentic life, grounded in a clear understanding of who you are and what you stand for.

In summary, the mid-twenties mark a critical phase of life, serving as a foundation for future success and fulfillment. Embracing continuous learning and following your curiosity opens up endless opportunities for growth and development. Taking calculated risks encourages you to step out of your comfort zone and pursue your dreams with confidence. Investing time and effort into nurturing meaningful relationships builds a support network that sustains you through life's ups and downs. Managing your finances wisely ensures long-term stability and opens up possibilities for achieving your goals. Prioritizing your health, both physical and mental, lays the groundwork for a life filled with energy and vitality.

Finding a mentor provides you with guidance, knowledge, and connections that accelerate your personal and professional growth. Setting clear goals, while remaining flexible, helps navigate life's unpredictability with purpose and resilience. Striving for a work-life balance enables you to enjoy the fruits of your labor while cherishing moments with loved ones and personal hobbies. Paying it forward to your community and those in need enriches your life with purpose and satisfaction. Lastly, cultivating self-awareness allows you to live authentically, making decisions that align with your true self and values.

By focusing on these ten aspects during your mid-twenties, you're not just preparing for the future; you're actively building a foundation that will support a life of fulfillment, success, and happiness.