The Lie That Holds You Back From Success

Life is not working out the way you wanted, and you can explain why. Business isn’t great, and you’re convinced it’s because the competition has more money to spend on marketing.You struggle to find meaningful friendships, but it’s because you’re a complicated person and no one really “gets” you. You feel mistreated at work, but that’s your cross to bear because you’re a peaceful person who would never stoop to the level of conflict.You want to know the problem with all these explanations? The problem is they’re not true. These are the types of stories we tell ourselves in an effort to dodge challenging emotions and self-examination. These explanations protect us from the struggle of trying to rise above our circumstances. But these stories also make you a constant victim of life instead of the force of life you were meant to be.

The truth is that you are a human being with immense potential. You have the ability to create the life you want. But the more you cling to these made-up excuses, the harder it is to change or improve in any meaningful way.

 So how can you stop buying your own lies?

First you have to understand why you tell these stories in the first place.

 You may be thinking, “If I could rise above my current struggle, I would.” After all, no one wants to settle for less than the best, right? Well, there are actually easy explanations for the limiting lies you tell yourself. 

Your mind is protecting you from pain.

The truth is often painful, especially when it comes to the hard truths we need to confront in order to grow. For example, it’s easier to blame your failing business on your lack of resources than it is to examine your own shortcomings as a business owner. 

You may have learned self-worth from your environment.

If your parents demonstrated low self-worth, it’s likely that you would have learned to navigate the world with the same perspective. Children absorb ideas like sponges, and if you learned early to focus on your limitations instead of believing in your potential, that perception has probably become a core value you’re not even aware of.

You’re actually conflicted about pursuing what you want.

Human beings are complicated. Sometimes you want an outcome and fear that outcome at the same time. Maybe, for example, you want to make a lot of money, but you struggle to see yourself as someone who should have a lot of money. Or maybe you want to fall in love and get married, but deep down, you don’t believe you actually deserve love.

No matter why you keep telling false stories about your life and potential, the result is always the same. You’ve given yourself a built-in excuse to avoid the uncomfortable emotions that come with pursuing your dreams. You either half-heartedly try to achieve something you don’t really believe you deserve, or you don’t even try at all. The stories you make up are holding you back from your true potential.

So how do you break free of the lies?

Take a critical look at the stories you tell yourself.

 There is a way to stop the cycle of excuses and lies and finally be proactive. It’s as simple as this:

1. Stop buying your own stories.
2. Understand that you have already won just by being here as a human being. 
3. Recognize that all humans have an amazing potential to imagine and create. You are not as limited as you think you are.
4. Make a deliberate effort to change the way you use your mind. Your mind is a creation machine with tremendous potential to problem solve and innovate. Use it for those purposes instead of replaying the victim story that has guided your life so far. Abandon that narrative. Start telling yourself stories about the possibilities.

If you still doubt that your own excuses are holding you back, I encourage you to try this simple exercise:

Think of all the things that aren’t working right in your life. Write out your explanations for those disappointments. Why are you the way you are? Why is your life the way it is? Why do you make the choices you make or avoid the opportunities you avoid?

 Save your story and read it again on different days over the next several weeks. You will begin to see that your self-explanation makes less sense than you thought it did. You’ll start realizing how limiting and unhealthy your stories are. Most importantly, you’ll get better at evaluating this kind of self-talk objectively, which frees you from buying into the lies.

 And you’ll see that when you discover the freedom to think beyond your stories, you can finally transform into the person you always wanted to become.

Be true. Be you. Be great

Idan Shpizear