Liberatory rest is a survival skill: On peace, crisis, and change

Hi community,

A couple years ago (no idea exactly when), I?started this note on my phone titled "Quotes I Love".?

In it, I store those?quotes that, upon first encounter, left an indelible mark on me. You know, the kind of?quote that immediately?rearranges your brain and soul? The kind of?quote that articulates something in such a way that your relationship to that thing will never be the same?

The wonderful thing about having it stored digitally is that no matter where I am or what I'm going through,?I can search my phone for the words I most need to hear. Sometimes I'm looking for?solace or validation. Other times,?a bigger perspective, a reminder that there's more than?meets the eye.

And then there's this category of quotes that I draw upon for courage...?Like warrior-like courage. Like I-am-at-rock-bottom-and-am-trying-to-fight-my-way-out courage. Like it's-dark-and-I-can't-see-the-light courage.

Usually I dig into those quotes in times of crisis, change, and intense transformation. Times that are associated with terms like?"dark night of the soul", "shadow work", "ancestral healing", "mental health struggles", "political unrest", etc.?

Times like these.

One quote from this category?that I find myself returning to again and again comes from Mooji, a Jamaican Chinese spiritual teacher in the Advaita Vedanta tradition who I discovered on the Insight Timer app.?

“Satsang is the invitation to step into the fire of self-discovery. This fire will not burn you, it will burn only what you are not.”?— Mooj

Satsang is a Sanskrit word derived from "sat" which means true and "sangha" which means community. There are a couple different interpretations,?but the one I?like?most is this:?being in the company of spiritually minded people seeking truth. Or simply put, being in the company of truth.

To me, this?reveals that?gathering in community is?central to our spiritual practice and individual / collective realization of truth.?We cannot access truths of any kind?alone or in a vacuum.?

Truth emerges through our togetherness (which includes our struggles to be together):

• Togetherness with our rejected parts and unlikable experiences
• Togetherness with our loved ones and those-we-find-hard-to-love?
• Togetherness as in being one with pain AND pleasure, life AND death, rest AND unrest

Confrontation is the cost of peace

One truth we struggle to swallow as human beings is that everything we want is on the other side of some uncomfortable confrontation.

You want love? You'll have to risk rejection and feel grief (grief isn't actually something we can choose to opt-out of,?but you can pretend it doesn't exist?until you're completely numb).

You want to get your needs met? You'll have to give up your attachment to being the?strong friend / eldest sibling / superhuman and that hyper-independent act.

You want to be known for who you really are? You'll have to face all the ways you mask, perform, or sacrifice your authenticity?to please others.

You want your rest practice to feel restful??You'll have to be okay with sitting?in?the backlog of snoozed?notifications and metaphorical missed calls. You'll have to?befriend that inner chaos and listen for what it has to say.

True peace – which in my body of work is a synonym for restfulness – comes through confrontation. It comes?from going through the fire of self-discovery again and again so that you can shed all that you are not.?It's the outcome of?feeling your feelings,?taking accountability for your past and choices, and?reckoning with whatever is screaming for your attention.

Contrary to popular belief, restfulness is not the result of having ideal conditions such as being on vacation, having "nothing" to do, or finishing your to-do list. If that were the case, we wouldn't see so many people achieving those external conditions yet still struggling to feel rested.

Instead, restfulness is the result of accepting how things really are, not just how you want them to be.

A lack of peace (or restlessness, agitation, unrest) is not proof you're doing something wrong. It's your body and being?showing you the way to peace. These are messages calling attention to what needs tending to. It's saying, "Hey, we gotta take this into consideration and make it part of our story, too." It wants to see you?free, but you have to do your part in getting free.

Like Mooji says, the fire of self-discovery – that is, the fires of?transformation, conflict, and change – will not burn you. Facing what is yours to face will only burn away what you are not to reveal more of your authentic expression. What is left is what is true.

Announcing Rest in Crisis & Change:?Slow Study Group

I don't know what you're being asked to reckon with right now. I don't know what the fires of transformation have in store for you.?

But I do know that we are living in?a time that I recently saw?Simone Seol call the?Era of Consequences.?

The era of consequences doesn't speak in sweet nothings, gentle caresses, or soft whispers; it speaks in noise, discomfort, and tension.?It communicates through?confrontation, conflict, crisis, change, chaos, and change.?

Which are all things that the practice of liberatory rest I teach?– which includes?the process of feeling safe enough to slow down, becoming intimate with?the unrest within, and learning how to surrender to?the?fires of self-discovery?with greater skillfulness?–?prepares us for.

Having survived Hurricane Helene and now navigating US post-election political unrest, I've been thinking a lot about what preparing looks like. While material things like non-perishable foods, water, and a power source are important, that cannot and should not be the end of our preparing. An often overlooked resource to invest in when navigating crisis is OURSELVES. To be specific, it's the skillfulness with which we can face uncertainty, fear, and pressure; it's how aware we are of our limits and needs; it's our ability to make informed decisions will all the information (inclusive of body, heart, and soul, not just mind) we have within.

This is why I'm excited to announce that Rest in Crisis & Change is turning intoi an 8-week course for slow studying in community! Registration opens later this week, but you can join the waitlist HERE to be the first to hear before the public.

If you've been swirling, spiraling, and trying to figure out what preparing for an increasingly unstable world could look like, I?hope you'll consider joining me!?The goal is to develop your skills while also forming friendships with values-aligned people who can be part of your web of care going forward.

This is also a great next step for folks who enjoy the free Community Rest Sessions but want to go deeper.

By the end of this course, you will have the foundational knowledge, frameworks, somatic skills, and values-aligned community of practice necessary to approach your daily life differently: awakened and aware, committed to culture change?within and without, discerning and dangerous to the systems that would rather you stay small.

We develop these skills in community to not only survive, but to navigate an increasingly uncertain reality with more creativity, care, and choice.

?? Join the waitlist ??

What are consequences if not the bigger picture making itself known??

What are consequences if not the whole other half of the story claiming its rightful place?

What are consequences if not the other half of ourselves trying to come home?

These are difficult times. But we don't have to face it alone or unprepared. We can practice together now so that when contradiction, conflict, crisis, chaos, and change show up (and they will!), we are less likely to be caught unaware or to?turn on ourselves or each other.

Remember that we take care of us???

Collective Rest lands in Asheville!

I'm excited to offer Collective Rest in person at Asheville Community Yoga, a local donation-based studio where I've been practicing and co-leading the BIPOC Embodiment class this year.

For 4 consecutive Mondays starting 11/18 7:30-8:30pm, I’ll provide a gentle place to land for anyone struggling to slow down or craving connection to self, spirit, and others during these intense times, particularly after Hurricane Helene.?

Sessions will start with a brief intro to rest, a somatic check-in, and a juicy 30-45 min guided relaxation practice featuring an array of modalities to resource the body and systematically guide you to deeper states of rest.?

ALL the restorative props will be provided (mat, bolsters, blocks, sand bags, eye pillows) on site. I am volunteering as a teacher so all donations go towards supporting studio operations. No one will be turned away for lack of funds.

?? Sign up! ??

Your Restie Bestie,

Cassandra Lam /?Lam Thùy Dung

Founder of Collective Rest