Liberations from goals..

“I don’t set goals” 

Probably the one statement that I used to hate the most. 

Why would you not set goals? 

How many videos, blogs, talks have I done that have stressed the importance of goal setting?

Telling Carl Konadu the motivational speaker that you don’t set goals was like holding up a muleta (red cloth) to a bull, you’d see my pupils start to shrink, the veins in my head rise to the surface of my skin and it was like the motivation machine was preparing to launch.

I’ve been setting goals at the beginning of each year since 2012 and if I am honest, goal setting has given me a lot of direction and probably shifted the trajectory of my life. In 2010 I failed my A Levels miserably and realised I had to change the way I lived my life. I went from being a mediocre student, mediocre football player and generally lacking direction to a First Class student, a community volunteer and now running a flourishing social enterprise.

The foundations for this change were born out of:

• Investing in myself through personal development 
• Reading self-help & leadership books 
• Surrounding myself with the right people 
• Seeking mentorship & support 
• Setting goals and having clarity 

However, in 2020 a lot of things changed for a lot of people, including me. The biggest was my perspective on goal setting. 

I’m a part of a beautiful group called Breakthrough, and every Monday we meet to encourage and inspire each other through the word of God. At the beginning of 2020 I prepared a message to share with the group that I was really excited about, it was called how to Dominate the decade, (sounds crazy now but at the time I was convinced this was the formula for the next decade lol). I shared the message with the group and there was one person in particular who kept challenging me on the message. He disagreed with the concept of having clear targets and goals for the decade and was adamant that we don’t have control of the future so why are we so focused on what we can achieve when God might have a different plan? I disagreed, and so we went back and forth for a while and it was really frustrating for me. By the time we got to the end of the session, I wasn’t able to give them the full ‘formula’ on how to dominate the decade, and it’s probably a good thing I didn’t.

A few months later and lockdown hits, businesses go under, people lose their lives to COVID and a lot of things that we considered to be important are now no longer even on the radar. 

When I look back on it, it was a really telling moment about the way I have approached life over the last few years. For the first time since 2012 when I was 20 years old, goals went out the window. However, I am in a blessed position to be able to say that despite what we went through around the world, 2020 was a life changing year for me with many unexpected wins. 

Unexpected wins from 2020: 

• Meeting and developing a relationship with Lord Michael Hastings 
• 2-3 Degrees becoming one of the leading training providers for online programmes to young people 
• Going from a team of 3 to a team of 7 (now 9)
• Moving out of my parents house to a beautiful place of my own 
• Launched #WakeUpAndWorship - an instagram community of people that meet every Tuesday from 6-7am to praise and worship and start the day the right way 
• Awarded a BEM by the Her Royal Majesty in the Queens New Years Honors List for services to disadvantaged young people 
• Not to mention the health and happiness of many of my family and friends

When I reflect on what caused the change which brought about these wins, a few things come to mind:

I was forced to focus much less on planning for the future and more on serving people in the present. As soon as lockdown hit, there was no time to spend my energy trying to do personal conferences or self-gratifying work, our concern was only on how we could support young people through this tough time. This led to thousands of young people signing up for programmes such as Stay Ready, Mastering my Future and Summers not Cancelled where they could be in the right community of people, get access to mentoring, seek employment and learn new skills. 

Some of my “core principles” were challenged: 

‘You can’t hit a target that you can’t see’ - this was and sometimes still is my go to quote whenever i’m doing talks and delivering training. However last year, the focus was much less on a specific target and much more on the horizon around the target. Living a goal focused life thus far had helped me have a narrow vision and discipline, but it had also caused me to ignore the bigger picture and wider perspective of long term growth and purposeful living.

• Goals say: What can I achieve by x date?
• Growth and purpose say: Who can I become and where can I go? 

The aim isn’t just to survive, the aim is to thrive. Well, when I think about it, for a lot of people the aim is to survive; the poor, the sick, the vulnerable and the needy are not focused on how much they can make or how many places they can go. They are focused on surviving, and to survive for them IS to thrive. Alongside that, my small contribution to helping others is what leads to a thriving life.

One of the most touching moments about getting the BEM was when I read my name on the list of awardees and then saw that it was for: 

Services to disadvantaged young people (2-3 Degrees)

That was a real moment, not because I was being awarded, but because it was a reminder that one of the richest things you can do in life is to support and help others. In that moment I saw the thousands of young people that have been a part of our programmes, in that moment I saw the great 2-3 Degrees team and all of the wonderful partners we’ve worked with and our advisors, in that moment I realised we were going in the right direction by serving young people and helping them on their journey through life.  

Finally, the most humbling lesson of them all..

Maybe you don’t always know what’s best for you? 

That moment at Breakthrough wasn’t the only encounter that I had signalling a shift from goal setting to purpose living. There were quite a few moments now that I look back on it, and one in particular was with the wonderful Lord Michael Hastings. We had only recently met but I had heard him speak a few times and many of my friends were close with him and admired him greatly. So I asked him to speak at my upcoming Upgrade the Dream conference that was due to take place on the 4th April 2020. He was happy to speak, but alongside his agreement he also questioned the reason why I wanted to do the conference. His response was so dignified and loving that I couldn’t be offended, it just forced me to ask myself the question why? This started to shift my perspective on the conference but it was a few days later, when we had an unforgettable conversation that things really shifted. I won’t tell all that was said, but one thing that will stick with me forever was when he said: 

‘Carl, I love you, and everything I say is out of love. In your desire to be a motivational speaker and inspire people, I don’t want you to be a firecracker that fizzles for a few seconds and burns out, I want you to be an everlasting flame that provides light for people’.

Hearing those words felt like I had reached what I thought was the top of a mountain with an absolutely incredible view, only to realise that it was just the beginning of a journey. 

Every year I would sit down and think to myself ‘what can I achieve in the next 12 months?’ By hook or by crook I would have several sheets of paper that would spell out what i’m going to aim towards in the next 365 days. In 2020, I didn’t account for a global pandemic, I didn’t account for millions of young people needing hope and inspiration rather than needing to ‘Upgrade the Dream’ and finally, I didn’t account for the fact that God might have something planned for me that I didn’t have planned for myself. 

A change in perspective on goal setting required a level of humility and humbleness that was a bitter pill to swallow. Once I swallowed the pill I was able to see through a lens of vision, purpose and growth rather than accumulation, restriction and making stuff up to make myself sound ambitious lol.

I hope this was helpful - feel free to share with anyone you think this might help