Liberating your Potential from External Rewards

A study done by Stanford University (https://stanfordmag.org/contents/four-classic-bing-studies) in a nursery school where kids who loved to draw were given “gold stars” for their work, therefore creating that external reward system. After a while the external rewards, “Gold Stars”, were taken away and what happened next revealed a powerful insight into human motivation, one that has far-reaching implications for our personal and professional growth. The kids just stopped drawing. The reason behind this decline in creativity lay in the very rewards meant to inspire it. The gold stars, once a source of motivation, had inadvertently tethered the children's happiness to external validation. As the stars disappeared, so did the children's enthusiasm for drawing. They had learned to associate the joy of creation with the external rewards, leaving them adrift without them. This intriguing experiment teaches us a valuable lesson: we must tread carefully when linking our internal sense of fulfillment to external rewards. Whether it's gold stars in childhood or promotions and bonuses in adulthood, an overreliance on external validation can stifle our intrinsic motivation.

As we navigate life's challenges, the allure of external rewards can be irresistible. The promise of praise, recognition, or financial gain can serve as powerful incentives. However, herein lies the paradox: while these external accolades can provide a temporary boost, they often come at the expense of long-term motivation and personal growth. The most potent and enduring rewards, it turns out, are those we grant ourselves internally. The ability to pat ourselves on the back mentally, to acknowledge our achievements, and to say, "I am doing well" is a skill that can fuel our relentless pursuit of excellence.

Experience teaches us that the path to sustainable success is paved with self-affirmation. We must unlearn the conditioned mindset of seeking external validation, a habit ingrained in us from an early age, which I fell victim to during my schooling career and the environment and mentality at that time growing up. It's a journey that calls for a shift in perspective, from relying on external rewards to nurturing our intrinsic motivation. What my wife does well is reassuring my sons affirmations every night, mentioning things like intelligence, smart, happy, healthy. Even though my son is still very young to understand what’s happening, it is ingrained in his subconscious mind and later in life you do not need external rewards and validation.

In a world where external rewards may come and go, our inner drive remains unwavering. It's a reservoir of motivation that can sustain us through life's ups and downs. So, the next time you achieve a milestone or accomplish a goal, take a moment to appreciate your efforts. Recognize your worth internally and let the sense of fulfillment spring from within. That internal release of dopamine from internal rewards is more powerful than you think....