Liberate the child's potential, and you will transform him/her into the world!!!!.

Today, many parents and educators work vigilantly to guide children along the “right” path, hoping it will lead to a bright future. Adults, naturally, believe they know just what that path should look like, often drawing on their own experience or colleagues’ advice. But this top-down approach often leaves parents feeling pressured, educators struggling, and youth stressed and lagging behind their international peers.Two new books by developmental scientists work in tandem to rescue children from over involved parenting and from outdated educational practices. Their guidance is refreshing and based on decades of solid, cumulative evidence on how children really develop.

How many parents really know how to properly raise their children? I personally believe that there are many parents out there who are really struggling. Just take a walk in the park and try to notice the interaction between the parents and their children. You will hear things like:”Stop that. Don’t do that. Don’t touch that. Don’t go there you will hurt yourself. Get back here, you little devil. I told you not to get up there. I told you it can’t be done. It is impossible. Who do you think you are.” I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s good to take care of your child, to protect him from hurting himself but all the screaming and all the stories about how he can’t do this and that… I believe it’s too much.

And I heard one once that shocked me:”I told you to stop asking for things that I can’t give you? What the bleep is wrong with you stupid girl?” Stupid girl? When I hear something like this I am in deep pain. I mean it. Nobody is allowed to talk to a child like this. I don’t care if you are his parent or not, I don’t care if your child is really slow or not. That’s not how you talk to a human being, especially with a little child. It’s so wrong. Many parents do act like this and when their kids grow old and start acting disrespectful toward them, the parents are really offended and can’t seem to understand what have they done wrong. The way you treat your children is how they will treat you later on in life. They might not do it because they hate you or something but because that is the only thing they know how to do. That is exactly what you taught

There are also parents that know exactly how to do their job and they do it in a miraculous way. I saw a mother once in the park with her 15month old baby girl and this girl took a fall. Not an ugly fall but for a baby, it was pretty much. You know what the mother did? I was amazed. She replies to the little girl:”It’s OK sweetie. You are OK. Get up and go play with your friend.” The little girl did not make a sound. Nothing. I know that the fall is always associated with the mother rushing toward her child and see if the child is hurt or not while the child starts crying. You know, it made me think. It’s the parents that really get the children to cry? When a baby sees all the attention and the worries on his or hers parents face, the baby gives them what they are unconsciously or consciously expecting. It’s that simple.

I also believe that it is very important to pay attention and not to impose your fears, doubts, and limitation on your children. The vast majority of the parents do just that. I can tell you from my own experience. All the things I was told about what is and what isn’t possible, about what I can and can’t do… It’s insane. There are times when I get really frustrated and mad at my parents for telling me all that nonsense but I know that they did their best. It’s not their fault. They raised me in the way they were raised and they told me what they were told by their parent. They told me what they knew to be true at the time. Anyway, I believe that there are no limitation and what we can and can’t do and the only limitations that really exist are those that we impose on ourselves or those that are imposed on ourselves by others. That is why, every time I come in contact with a parent or a child, I share with them my beliefs.

Many people don’t know that when they are telling their children all the stories about the things that are about to be true and not so true, they are in fact limiting them. They are limiting their children. Let the child experiment. Let him dream. Let him use his imagination and creativity. Allow him to travel with his mind all over the world and all over the universe. Don’t impose your limitations on him. If you see the world as being full of horrible people, misery, and poverty that does not really mean that the world is exactly the way you see it. If you share with your children all your worries, all your limiting beliefs you are also limiting his beautiful mind. You are not allowing him to just be who he really is. You are not allowing him to really be happy.

Children love to ask all kind of questions. Take the time to answer them, take the time to explain all that needs to be explained. Don’t kill their creativity. I tell all my parent friends that they should always talk to their children about great things, about the great men. that ever existed and still, exist on this planet. If you want your child to become a great man or a great woman, you have to share with him this world of greatness.

Tell them inspiring stories, tell them the stories of those great men that fought for their dreams, for what they believed in and how they eventually got what they wanted, how they eventually achieved what they dreamed for. If you do this, you will plant in their minds the seed of greatness. They will be inspired and they too will strive for great things. They will want to discover their true selves and they will want to achieve wonderful things. They will want to change this world, they will fight for that and they will make it happen because they know it is possible. They will know that if others did it they can do it too.

But if on the contrary, if you choose to talk to them about all the horrible things that are happening in the world, about all the things that are missing from your lives, about your unhappiness and lack of ambition, about all the violence hate that you know is present in the world, you will raise your children the same way you were raised by your parents. Your children will know that life is hard and unfair, that people are killing each other, that nothing good will come their way because of all the injustice in the world. You will prepare your children to face with failure and defeat. They will go through life without knowing what they are really worth, without knowing that they have a purpose, we all have and that nobody is here by accident. They would not know it and they will wonder through life without a hope and without a dream. No meaning, no goals, no nothing. You don’t want that. No parent really wants that for his or her child.

There are parents that really don’t know, they don’t realize that this is exactly what they are doing and it’s OK. Nobody is born all knowledgeable. We live and we learn. We have to be open and receptive to everything that might help us and those we love to live a happier life.

Take time to teach them valuable lessons. Take time to talk to them about the wonderful things that are happening in the world and about the wonderful things that are about to happen. About the things that can happen if we start believing that they can happen. Tell them who they really are and what are they capable of doing because if you don’t do it if you don’t tell your children who they really are and how much they are worth, somebody else will.

Wanted: Parents as gardeners, not carpenters

Today’s parents were not raised with the experience of caring for young children, Gopnik says, and so they come to parenthood after extensive education and work, and approach parenting like another subject to be mastered: “Get a book, take a course, and things will come out well.” Parents, she says, believe that if they can just learn the right techniques and do the right things, the child will turn out the right way: well-educated and prepared for success.

Drawing on her own and others’ cognitive research, along with evolutionary theory and philosophy, Gopnik concludes that children were not meant to be “molded” in the way parents are molding them today. Babies and young children should be raised in safe spaces protected by adults, but they are wired to be “explorers” of information and their environment in order to become efficient and innovative in adulthood. They need their freedom protected and made safe in order to mess around.

Babies and toddlers are keen observers of their world, actively and accurately interpreting what people and objects do and why they do it—like little scientists. Preschoolers use words to investigate their world. One study found that preschoolers can ask 75 questions per hour, not as bids for attention but to “extract” information from the adults around them. And through imaginative and pretend play, young children experiment with their understanding of people and objects, preparing them for engagement in their social world later.

 he greatest challenge that parents face is to guide or prepare their children for a successful career. Many parents today want to gauge their children's aptitude. This seems a very encouraging trend, until you realise that the child they are talking about is merely in Class V or Class VI!

This indicates their anxiety. It also means that more and more parents are becoming aware that each child is different and has different abilities. It is not possible to decide what field s/he needs to specialise in without knowing what these abilities are.

The right time to have your child's aptitude tested: after Class X and Class XII.

Your child's aptitude is just developing upto Class X, and you may not get an accurate profile in Class VII and Class XI.

Second, personality interest assessments for graduates give an idea about the career and post graduate options.

Academic success: how indicative is it?

Gone are the days when the vocational choice was simple: the 'bright' children chose to pursue Science in Class XI, and then Medicine or Engineering.

Commerce was meant for those who were good in Mathematics, but not scientifically oriented, and Arts was for the 'duffers'.

It has taken a long time for this notion to change and for parents and students to realise the following:

i. Academic success is not the only measure of intelligence

Your ability to cope with frustration, disappointments and failure, emotional intelligence, social skills, team spirit and multi-skill abilities are measures of success.

If you can deal with your emotions and channelise them constructively, that helps, too.

ii. Academic achievement is not necessarily indicative of success in the professional world

There are countless examples where academically backward children have done very well in their profession.

Examples: Bill Gates, Albert Einstein, who did badly at school.

Also, some academically brilliant children have failed to face the demands of the world of work.

Recently, a girl was forced by her parents to take up BDS.

After three years, she changed her mind, got an Arts degree and then proceeded to do Journalism. She is doing very well today.

iii. Academic success is not the only factor to predict a person's growth

Individual liking or preference is important. It is a universal truth that when we like something, we are most motivated towards it.

This leads one to ask, "So what makes a person successful? Is it intelligence, is it aptitude or is it simply hard work?"

The answer: there's no magic formula. It is a combination of various factors.

To understand these, it is important to understand the terms which we use so loosely.

Why vocational guidance is essential

Here are a few cases where a limited perspective has resulted in disappointment.

i. Parental expectation

An engineering student came to us for counseling all through her engineering course. 

She had wanted to do medicine, but when her father expressed his desire for her to take up engineering, she faltered.

Distressed at the thought of disappointing him and at the thought of taking a wrong decision, she opted for engineering. She did complete it, but with a lot of resentment and consequent anxiety.

ii. Lack of exposure

A boy took up medicine because his parents were doctors, but halfway through his course work, he realized it was a wrong decision.

iii. Emulating others

'Everybody is doing MBA'. It is the 'in thing'; this led someone to take up business management.

Unfortunately, he could not complete it because his aptitude just did not match management.

In sum, a person's success in a field depends on the choice s/he is best suited for.

Vocational Guidance helps identify the talents of your child, likes, inherent potential and giving a direction to their dreams in a realistic way, so that s/he can choose the profession s/he is best suited for.

Transforming schools into gardens

In Becoming Brilliant: What Science Tells Us About Raising Successful Children, Roberta Michnick Golinkoff and Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, scholars of education, psychology, and cognitive science, make a case for a transformation of education that aligns neatly with Gopnik’s thesis.

According to Golinkoff and Hirsh-Pasek, our current content-driven approach to educating children is failing. Students are made to be passive consumers of content (or “knowledge digesters”), as if preparing for the world of 1953, rather than becoming the “knowledge transformers” needed in an increasingly competitive global environment. Programs like No Child Left Behind and Common Core—with their focus on “hard skills” and the mastery of content, both very “carpenter”-like approaches to education—have failed children, and teaching has regressed to an emphasis on test preparation.

Children need the kind of education that prepares them to think, be creative, and innovate. Drawing on input from business leaders as well as the science of learning, Golinkoff and Hirsh-Pasek suggest six core competencies that will create the “thinkers and entrepreneurs of tomorrow”: collaboration, communication, content, critical thinking, creativity, and confidence. The authors detail how these skills build upon each other throughout development and try to point out how each competency can be “scaffolded” (broken down into teachable components) at different ages. However, that section of the book is left sufficiently vague as to be of questionable help to na?ve parents.

There is converging evidence that Golinkoff and Hirsh-Pasek are correct in broad strokes and that children and schools do better when there is an emphasis on softer skills, like social and emotional learning. However, just what those soft skills are has not yet been determined in the wider world, and you can find other, well-researched lists of skills from the World Economic Forum, the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning, or the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. While all of these qualities surely correlate, scientists do not truly understand which is most foundational.

So, while perhaps the ship is headed in the right direction, the specific course we should be charting remains to be worked out.

How to make children Unique:

We should Help Children discover what makes them unique and special. From our experience, happiness is rooted in knowing who you are and that you can excel at something you love. So take the time to read over our pages on about potential and what makes your child unique.

 

Give Them Lots of Opportunities

Give them lots of opportunities to discover their gifts and talents. Most children start exploring as toddlers, rummaging through closets and keep on exploring the world as teenagers. One of the things we think they are looking for is what they excel at -- the things that bring them praise and attention. The more opportunities they have to explore what they can do, the higher the odds they will discover their 5 to 10 natural abilities early in life, giving them plenty of time to explore and develop them before they need to commit to studying them full time and building a career around them. Family activities are a great way to give everyone lots of ways to explore and find their gifts.

Provide Positive, Specific Feedback

Give them fast, specific feedback about their natural abilities. Children (as well as adults) often do not recognize their own talents. As a parent, you may be the only person in the world who will catch your child in the act of using one of their gifts. When you do, take a moment to let them know that they just did something amazing and tell them exactly what it is. Go beyond saying "you are great" to "you are great at reading. I love all those different animal voices you used. I think you may have a talent for making stories come alive with different voices."

It doesn't require much time or words. You want to make a brief comment -- just enough to make an impact and give them an idea of what they may be great at. By describing exactly what they did in a few words, you give a name to their skill but leave them with something to focus on, think about and explore. Just telling a child "you are wonderful, amazing or great " is not enough. They think that is what moms and dads are supposed to say.

Unfortunately, mentioning a career or job title ruins most feedback because it puts the cart before the horse. First you figure out what you excel at, then you find the work (and the job title that goes with it) that pays you handsomely to do it. If you mention a job title, it shifts their focus from being great and exploring their gift to having to choose a career -- often a decision a 3, 7, or 13 year old is not ready for.

Children have a drive to be independent and do things on their own. This is a healthy part of normal child development. As children grow, they learn to do more and more tasks.

We can help young children become independent by allowing and encouraging them to take responsibility for themselves whenever possible. It can be faster and less messy to do things for children, but they learn so much from doing things for themselves. When children practice self-help skills such as feeding and dressing themselves, they practice their large and small motor skills, gain confidence in their ability to try new things and build their self-esteem and pride in their independence.

There are four main types of self-help skills:

Self-feeding. The best way to build independent feeding skills is to learn the normal developmental stages of self-feeding. Encourage children to practice feeding themselves from infancy on. Begin by offering older infants finger foods. Introduce a spoon and fork and give children plenty of time to practice. Let children be as independent as possible during mealtimes. Give them the tools they need to be successful. Consider bowls that attach to the table, child-sized utensils and small cups with handles and spouts (such as measuring cups) for pouring. Encourage children to try for themselves but provide help and encouragement when needed so they don't get frustrated.

Independent dressing and grooming. Encourage children to dress and groom by themselves; just provide minimal assistance. Begin with older infants and toddlers by encouraging them to help pull socks on and off, pull up pants after diapering and help put their arms through sleeves. As children get older, encourage them to dress themselves but help with challenging steps such as zipping and buttoning.

Hygiene . Look for signs of readiness for toileting. Encourage children learning to use the toilet to climb on and off the toilet seat, pull clothing up and down, and wash their hands independently. Also teach children how to brush their teeth after lunch and snacks. Be ready to provide support and help if they need it. You can find more suggestions at Keeping Children's Teeth Clean in Child Care and Hand Washing in Child Care. Encouraging children to take care of everyday hygiene routines and to use the toilet independently helps them learn how to become more independent and self-sufficient, and frees up your time to help children with other activities.

Helping with daily chores like table setting and picking up toys. Encourage children to help with clean-up early on. Give toddlers responsibility for placing napkins or utensils on the table. Encourage children to begin clearing their own plates when they are old enough to carry them without dropping them. When children are involved in regular chores starting before the age of 4, they tend to be more independent in early adulthood than children without the experience of helping out.

Self-help skills are very important. The secret to success is to give children age-appropriate experiences and provide the appropriate supports to help children be successful. Child care providers can offer opportunities for children to develop self-help skills and give them ample time to work on these important tasks. Remember that adults are important role models. We model self-help skills; children learn a great deal from watching us.

 

Take On The Responsibility

Don't rely on teachers and career counselors to spot your child's potential. Teachers have 30 children to look after and a lesson plan to get through. They can't possible catch every child in the act of using their gifts and talents. And career counselors usually only see children briefly and have to work with grade point averages and aptitude test scores. They don't have the time to see every child in action and know who has a knack for great comedic timing and who has the manual dexterity and love of history to restore priceless works of art. So instead of relying on others, we suggest you work with them to help your children discover who they are. Teacher-parent conferences can be spent talking about more than grades, classroom behavior and social skills. You can spend them trading insights about what your child excels at, the subjects they love, and the other ingredients of their potential. You can form a support team to spot your child's potential both at home and in the classroom.

 Champion Children On Their Journey

Support and champion them on their journey of self discovery. Growing up is tough. Just look at the basic list of life skills I came up with. Then add in all the emotional ups and downs as they learn some of life's toughest lessons about friendship, betrayal, jealousy, joining a "click" or going it alone, and the heartache of falling into and out of like and love for the first time.

They need time and a little help to figure out who they are. Along the way they will try on and discard lots of ideas, causes and trends. That is just part of test driving all the options of who they can become to decide which ones fit them best. As a parent, being able to take the long view and know what to expect is a great advantage. So is having access to the skills and knowledge you need to help without doing it for them.

So encourage healthy exploration, keeping their options open until they are ready to make some decisions, and champion them figuring things out -- even if you yourself can't champion their cause d' jour or the color they dye their hair.

If our web pages or tools can help -- well that is what we are here for.

 Be Willing To Be A Role Model

Be willing to become a living role model by discovering your own potential. It is a fact of life that children watch what their parents do, and pay more attention to actions than words. And they are much more willing to follow in their parents footsteps if their parents have blazed a successful trail into the unknown. So if you find your bliss, the chances are more likely that your children will be inspired and curious enough to go searching for their own. If learning about your own potential positively impacts your life, they will notice. And that is half the battle -- getting and keeping their attention on the things that matter most.

Discover your child’s abilities

It goes without saying that every parent wants the best for their child. We all want to see our offspring grow and develop new skills. Although most of us recognize that our child is unlikely to be another Einstein, that should not stop us from wanting to discover what it is they are good at. There is a growing recognition that children (and indeed adults) can be intelligent in a variety of ways. Once we recognize that children have many different abilities, then we can think about developing those skills, talents and capabilities to the full.

 

Develop your child’s potential

 

INTRAPERSONAL (Self)

Children with strong intra personal intelligence are “thinkers”, though they may be seen as “dreamers”. They prefer to “keep themselves to themselves” and may appear shy and withdrawn. They may not respond in class but prefer to talk to the teacher about the topic after the lesson. They usually have a clear idea about their future and will set themselves personal targets & challenges. They are interested in life stories and may keep a personal diary.

 

LINGUISTIC (Words)

Children with strong linguistic intelligence are likely to “always have their head in a book”. Not only do they like reading, they also write (stories, poems and letters) for pleasure. They usually mention things they have read about. They will have a wide vocabulary, be good at spelling, and are often fascinated by words and their meanings. They explain themselves well and like to teach others. They enjoy word games & puzzles (Scrabble, crosswords, etc.) and may also enjoy quizzes. They may be talkative (but not necessarily).

 Discover your child’s interests and abilities.

Be on the lookout for things to praise. We eagerly encourage a baby’s first word or a toddler’s first step – but why stop there? Keep looking for advances in your child’s abilities, then recognise and reward them (not with money or gifts but with praise and encouragement).

 Encourage a wide range of interests.

Having discovered what your child is good at, it is a temptation to push them to do even better at this particular thing – but this can be harmful if taken to extremes. By all means encourage your child to develop their interest, but encourage them to explore different aspects – not just “more of the same”.

 Never ridicule your child.

Of course, it may be necessary to correct your child if they do wrong – but you should never make fun of your child just because they are “different”, either in their behavior or interests.

 Acknowledge your child’s abilities.

Not just “school-type” things but other things (e.g. model-making, drawing, physical skills). This will help your child to grow in confidence – and be more prepared to tackle other things that they might not be so good at.

 Encourage your child to set targets for themselves.

This will help them to develop an “aim higher” attitude to life. It is amazing what they will achieve if only they can be encouraged to set their sights high.

 Make learning fun.

Your child is much more likely to want to do something if it is enjoyable. There are lots of games and fun activities that will help to develop your child’s abilities – whether mental, physical or artistic.

 VISUAL-SPATIAL (Pictures)

Children with strong visual-spatial intelligence are “natural artists”. They notice small differences in detail and have a good visual imagination. They will be good at drawing and enjoy drawing sketches, cartoons & doodles. They have a strong sense of colour. Given the opportunity, they will enjoy taking photo’s and making videos. They can find their way around easily. They use their hands when talking or explaining. They may also enjoy jigsaws & maze puzzles.

 MUSICAL (Music)

Children with strong musical intelligence like a wide range of music. They recognise tunes easily and quickly and are quick to learn songs. They may play a musical instrument (if provided with opportunity). They will probably be good singers. They are likely to hum or sing to themselves (or out loud) whilst doing other things. They may tap out rhythms. They are fascinated by different sounds.

 PHYSICAL (Body)

Children with strong physical intelligence are good at sport & physical activities. They like practical activities (such as model-making, sewing, cooking, making things). They cannot help touching things and probably use their hands when talking. They have expressive facial features and may be good at drama. They are well co-ordinate with a good sense of balance, and may be good dancers.

 NATURALIST (Nature)

Children with strong naturalist intelligence like all kinds of animals and may be responsible for looking after a pet. They may be interested in gardening and the countryside and will probably prefer to be outside. They may show an interest in insects, dinosaurs or archaeology and will enjoy nature programmed on TV. They probably collect things (such as Pokemon cards, etc. but especially insects, bits of rock) and may keep a scrapbook. They may be tidy and well-organized.

So decide right now to change the way you talk to them, to change the way you respond to the many questions that come your way on a daily base from your precious children.

ROLL OF EDUCATION TO IDENTIFY THE LATENT POTENTIAL

The children of today are gearing up to become adult citizens of tomorrow. The growth is parallel to the future of our country, reflected through quality of the present education system. A school must stimulate curiosity in the young, impressionable minds and equip them with tools to be better human beings.

It widely accepted that the learning process is instrumental in shaping one’s personality and the way he/she deals with situations of life. The shift of thoughts from bookish knowledge to knowledge of life, in schools, has brought forth a sea of change. People have warmed up to the idea of education being the key to a well-rounded development instead of just a mean to acquire degrees and monetary success in life. Education must facilitate the cultivation of a healthy thought process and groom our cognitive abilities. In the present competitive world, education is a basic necessity for human beings after food, clothes and shelter.

School education must focus on the following aspects, which contribute immensely to the development of the young minds as they step into adulthood.

Mental aspect

School is the foremost fountain of knowledge children are exposed to. It gives a chance for them to acquire knowledge on various fields of education such as people, literature, history, mathematics, politics, and other numerous subjects. This contributes to cultivation in the thought process. When one is exposed to the influences coming from various cultural sources, his/her on world and existence becomes vast. 

Social aspect

School is the first avenue of socializing for a child. Up till then, parents and immediate family members are the only people the child has human interactions with. And familiarity is a breeding ground of stagnancy. With schools, children are exposed not only to new ideas but also to same aged compatriots. This instils sociable practices such as empathy, friendship, participation, assistance which turn out to be important in their adulthood.

Physical aspect

A child, after conception, goes through various physical development. While home provides a restricted outlet, in school, a child can channelise his energy into more sociable avenues. Studies have pointed out that while in familiar environment, the child is is equipped to deal with sudden bursts of energy, the learns to be at his/her best behaviour only when exposed to same-aged individuals. Plus, familiarity leads to taking advantage of situations, while in school, the playing field is levelled. Also, the presence of activities such as sports, craft help children direct their boundless energy into something productive.

Overall aspect

Earlier, schools were considered as places to learn events in history chapter, solve tough mathematical problems or recite poems and sonnets. In current educational scenario, a child learns to go beyond the traditional way of rote learning. They are taught to develop a mind of their own and through the flexible curriculum, curiosity is promoted. The child is freed of the shackles of mental blocks and lets his/her imagination run its course. Importance of imagination is stressed upon extensively. Play en-actions and an encompassing curriculum leads to a well-developed cognitive system.

VERY IMPORTANT ....

Life is also about learning, apart from living. While we can learn to a certain extent from our parents, they tend to be unilateral. At school, children are exposed to various sources from whom they can imbibe immense knowledge, instrumental for their development. Hence school is necessary for children to inculcate “the workings of life”

Education forms the foundation of any society. It is responsible for the economic, social, and political growth and development of society in general. The thread of the growth of society depends upon the quality of education that is being imparted. So schools play an important role in molding a nation's future by facilitating all round development of its future citizens...AM AWAITING FOR YOUR REFLECTIONS!!!!!