Lew's Lessons on Community - A Tribute to my Dad

Warning - this is a personal article but if you choose to read it, you will understand why I am sharing it on LinkedIn. So here we go…

July 24th is a day I dread each year.?

On July 24, 2004, my dad died of a massive stroke - he was 59.?

Needless to say, it was traumatic to lose a parent so suddenly and at only 29 years old. I was also 7 months pregnant with my son which added to the heartbreak.

My dad was my biggest fan, constant supporter, editor in chief, guidance counselor, career coach and my sounding board in life.

In what feels like a lifetime - 20 years since he left us - I want to share some lessons I learned from my dad.?

First, let me tell you a little about him. Lew grew up in Kingston, NY. He loved music and had a killer record collection - The Beatles (obviously), Stones, Zeppelin but also lots of jazz, folk and other eclectic music. He would tell me stories of driving up to Woodstock, NY in the 60s where he would randomly see Bob Dylan or Joan Baez perform in a coffee shop. I thought that was just the coolest!

He loved funny movies, spy novels, all sports but especially golf. He was actually an excellent golfer and had dreams of going pro.?

He had a way with words and wrote silly poems for family and friends.?

He was a salesman. He could sell anything and was incredibly skilled at making connections with people. In fact, Lew was a master of building community and these are the lessons I want to share with you.

Lesson 1: Bring Your Unique Skills

Growing up, my dad was always involved with the Brotherhood at our synagogue. He was the “egg guy” cooking up vats of scrambled eggs for the monthly brotherhood breakfasts. When we moved to Florida from NY when I was 10, we joined a new synagogue so my dad knew the best way to meet people - provide his unique skill of egg slinging. He quickly found his place at the stove, cooking eggs, making friends and contributing to the new community he joined. Lew made so many connections simply by offering to cook eggs.

Lesson 2: Step Up When the Time is Right

Thanks to the eggs, my dad became extremely involved at our synagogue in Florida. He after a few years, joined the board and was asked many, many times to serve as President. Eventually, he agreed and served as President from 1997-1999. As much as he would joke that they “finally got him” I know he was extremely proud to serve in this role. I followed in his footsteps a few years back, serving on my synagogue's board and carrying on his legacy.

Lesson 3 - Humor is Essential

My dad loved to laugh. He was actually hilarious and had a wicked sense of humor. I was raised on a steady diet of Mel Brooks, SNL, George Carlin, Bill Cosby (before we knew he was a creep) and more. Not only did he always try to find the humor in life but he also brought people together through it.?

When he turned 50, we threw him what we thought was a surprise party. After yelling “SURPRISE!” Lew pulled out a piece of paper and read a poem about how we thought we were so slick but he knew all along. Everyone in the room was literally on the floor laughing and crying - it was that funny.?

Lesson 4 - Welcome People to the Table

My dad had a habit of inviting random people to our house for holidays. He hated hearing that someone had nowhere to go for Passover or to break the fast following Yom Kippur. So often, we would add a place setting and literally “welcome the stranger” to our house. Some of these people became instant friends and others…well, they were memorable for other reasons. But the desire to make people feel welcome and at home was always important to Lew.

Lesson 5 - Leave a Legacy

In April, 2010 the synagogue I grew up in Florida, where my dad cooked eggs and served as President, launched a leadership development program and endowment in his memory. This was truly an incredible way to honor him and he would have been moved to tears (he was a crier).

My mom and I flew down for Shabbat services where they made the formal announcement to the congregation and I spoke from the bimah. I talked about the eggs, how he would always insist on arriving 30 minutes early for services, how he instilled a desire to lead in me and how “I hope that my husband and I can instill this same sense of leadership and community with our two children. Although they never met their Grandpa Lew, I can see parts of him in both of them - his sense of humor, love of music, stubbornness and most importantly, his big heart.”

It means so much to have his legacy carry through this endowment at the synagogue where so many of my core life moments took place. But also feel a sense of obligation to carry it out myself and I truly do see it in my kids. My son has taken an interest in golf and this would have thrilled my dad to no end. I only wish Lew could be here to share some golf tips. And my daughter is both hilarious and extremely compassionate - she has Lew’s love for people and connection.

As to why I am sharing this here, I think my dad would have loved LinkedIn. It checks so many boxes of the things that he stood for - it's about connection, relationships, paying it forward, building community and personal growth. He had a fair amount of career struggles and some very difficult periods of unemployment. LinkedIn would have shown him that he wasn't alone and given him a community to turn to for support and guidance and a place to offer that to others.

I’ll end with a quote from Hamilton, a show I think my dad would have really enjoyed:

“What is a legacy? It’s planting seeds in a garden you never get to see”