Leveraging the Utilization of Business Speak on My Post-Employment Journey

I’m going to be retiring soon, and that has me a little scared.

I worry that the drop off from the structured world of business to a life of relative leisure might be a precipitous one.

My thoughts keep going back to a radio station engineer with whom I worked several years ago. At his retirement party he told his fellow employees, “I don’t know what I’m going to do without this place!”

Two weeks later he dropped dead of a heart attack.

Trying my best to avoid a similar scenario, I think I’ve hit upon an idea that might help ease the transition.

I can retire but still experience a little touch of the work world by going full “business-speak” in my private life.

Spreadsheets and Sharepoint sites might disappear, but for me, corporate lexicon will live on!

I’ll start with the “low-hanging fruit.”

I’m going to start “leveraging” things as much as I can.

As in, “hey honey, you know that big kid in the neighborhood? Come quick. He was on the seesaw with our granddaughter, and he just leveraged her into the rosebushes!”

I’ll leverage my knife and fork at dinner, and my car to drive around town.

I’ll be “empowered” to do a lot of “optimizing” and “utilizing” too.

I’ll optimize the mower in summer, utilizing it to cut my lawn.

I might even have the “propensity” to “operationalize” it if I feel inspired, but only if I have “capacity.”

I promise to “facilitate” use of the snow shovel when clearing my driveway in winter, “building out” its “functionality.”

I plan to have an “open door policy” in retirement, affording people frequent opportunities to “dialogue” or “interface” with me.

I promise I will not adhere to this policy when it comes to the bathroom door.

I vow I will “lean in” to all conversations, even when my wife wants me to help her with a home improvement project. I also reserve the right to lean in to the fridge on occasion for a midnight snack.

When I’m not “leaning in,” I promise to “lean out” some of the clutter from our closets.

In summer, I might erect a hammock in the back yard, just to relax with a beer in hand and think about things (see photo above). If anybody complains, I’ll tell them, “Hey, knock it off. Can’t you see I’m “ideating??”

“Re-imagine” that!!

Each morning, I’ll “level set,” and hope to take whatever I do to “the next level.”

“Going forward,” numerous household chores like vacuuming the carpet, fixing dinner or unloading the dishwasher will become, “initiatives.” But I will pursue them only if they’re “mission critical” and if they afford me “positive momentum.” In such cases I will be sure to “tee up” each project and “home in” on it, as I continue my “journey.”

I hope to do it all “seamlessly” and “at scale.” I want to “push the envelope,” but I also should try to “stay in my swim lane.”

Rest assured I will be “proactive.” In fact, I’ll take that as an “action item,” as long as I have the “bandwidth.”

Not to “get into the weeds,” but I’ll probably become more “intentional” in the area of Christmas gift shopping. But as usual, I won’t “initiate that process” until the start of “Q4.”

I’ll “move the needle” and “break down silos.” I’ll “drill down” and “think outside the box,” and I won’t even have to be “voluntold!”

Right now those plans are all “in flight” – “on my radar.” But hopefully they’ll become “best practices.”

I will “pivot” to do an occasional “deep dive” but hey, I’m retirement age – I make no promises that I'll get back up.

If my grandkids misbehave, I’ll try to be understanding, but I will remind them to “read an org chart.”

I might start talking to God more – technically those would be “skip-level” meetings.

When I take a vacation, I'll be sure to consider it an “offsite,” always seeking to “allocate the necessary resources” to support my trip.

All of these will become my new “core competencies.” If you can think of some others – just “ping” me and we can engage in some “discourse,” perhaps in a “one-on-one.” Maybe we’ll “brainstorm” during our “touchbase.”

So that’s a “macro” look at my “data points” -- a “roadmap,” if you will. I hope you will see its “value proposition.”

Now, you’ll pardon me if I “go offline” for a moment. I just heard the doorbell. The UPS guy appears to have left a “deliverable” on the porch.

As always, thanks for “contextualizing” this “debrief” and “getting on board” with its “key messages,” "from the 30,000 foot level."