Leveraging the Feedback Decision Tree

Constructive feedback can challenge feedback receivers on many levels — including emotionally. Depending on the work context, the content, and even how it was delivered, it may trigger past traumas that make it especially difficult for the receiver.

I've personally experienced this and I've talked to leaders around the world who have as well.

This is partly why I created the feedback decision tree and the 6Ps of processing feedback (both of which I originally published here at Harvard Business Review ); I needed a way to feel through my emotions, think logically, and ultimately decide what to do with some tough feedback I had received.

Here’s what my decision tree looks like. It's followed by a video that provides more details on how to use it.

If my method works for you, great. But I highly encourage you to learn about my method primarily so you can develop your own — even if it’s a slightly tweaked variation.

One of the many reasons why receiving feedback can be so challenging is that it’s often a form of negative feedback. That is, it’s a form of feedback that shines a light on a weakness or an area to improve. As humans, many of us already suffer from a strong negativity bias that is an ancient and biological part of how we have survived.

So here many of us are, already bathed in self-doubt and inner chatter about our shortcomings and with an inclination to latch onto thoughts about how we aren’t good enough — and then this is all magnified and validated when negative feedback comes our way.

So, remember, based on our feedback definition (feedback is a response to a person’s activity with the purpose of helping them adjust to become more effective), the best negative feedback not only shines a light on a weakness — it spills light into the future, illuminating a path toward change.

Unfortunately, many who give feedback (including ourselves) often don’t have such fine-grained control over how they shine the light. You may have noticed this. ?? Often, folks merely shine it on a weakness. This is why it’s essential for feedback receivers to be proactive, to take whatever was given to us, and, to the best of our abilities, make the most of it.

A feedback decision tree can help. So can the 6Ps of processing feedback:

1. Poise: Holding feedback with neutrality and grace in the moment you receive it.
2. Process: Understand, metabolize, feel, and determine how to use the feedback.
3. Positionality: Consider your own and the feedback provider’s motives, position, and intent.
4. Percolate: Running the feedback you received through a decision tree, and reflecting.
5. Proceed: If you've decided to adopt the feedback, determine the how and when.
6. Perspective: Getting feedback on your adopted feedback from those you respect.

But these are merely tools. As with all tools, using them without understanding why isn’t likely to lead to great results.

Currently struggling with feedback you received?

1. Quiet your mind in whatever way works for you.

2. Feel the feelings that arise when the feedback enters into your thinking (they are there, I promise you).

3. Remember that, although you may think otherwise, you have some level of control (usually more than it may seem at first) over what happens next.

For the feedback nerds...

I've organized my weekly feedback findings into this YouTube playlist . For new subscribers (?? hello!), feedback findings are weekly videos I share about some insightful resource I found that week. These usually come from academic papers or corporate blogs.