Leverage Power Of No - Key to Influence and Commitment

How often do you hear Yes from others or even say yourself that don’t really want?

A half-hearted yes to meetings we don’t need, projects we aren't excited about, or commitments that drain our energy. We do it out of obligation, politeness, or just because saying No feels uncomfortable.

But here’s the truth: Every half-hearted Yes is a No to something better.

A while back I came across the book by Derek Sivers. In his book Hell Yeah or No, offers a simple but powerful principle:

“If you’re not feeling ‘Hell Yeah!’ about something, say No.”

As I thought about, this isn’t just about personal choices. This applies so much when you’re persuading others, leading a team, or getting clients to buy, negotiations, making personal decisions, the influence consistency principle tells us that people like to stay aligned with their commitments.

But what if those commitments were made out of politeness rather than conviction?

3 Types of YES vs No..

We tend to use YES more often even when No is better option. But then in YES, not all are same.

There are three types of Yes we often encounter:

1. Active Yes: This is the real Yes—the kind that comes from genuine enthusiasm and commitment.
2. Confirmatory Yes: This is a polite Yes, often given just to acknowledge or keep a conversation moving forward.
3. Counterfeit Yes: This is the worst kind—it sounds like a Yes, but the person has no intention of following through.

Think about how often you hear:

• “Yes, I’ll think about it.” (but they won’t)
• “Yes, let’s do it!” (but they disappear later)
• “Yes, I’ll join your program.” (but they never show up)

These fake Yes responses waste time and energy. Worse, they create false hope, leading to frustration and disappointment.

Why Embracing NO is More Powerful

The reality is the word "No" invokes rejection. We don't like to face rejection or reject others. So YES becomes default option. We like to hear YES from other and also say YES.

As we said, a half hearted YES means, it doesn't follow the necessary action. To avoid this trap, In influence and persuasion, counter-intuitively, giving someone permission to say No increases the likelihood of a real Yes.

This is because people resist feeling pressured. When you remove the pressure, they feel autonomy—a key factor in real commitment.

A simple way to do this? Instead of pushing for a Yes, say:

• “I don’t want you to feel pressured, so it’s totally okay if this isn’t for you.”
• “If this doesn’t excite you, you should say No.”
• “Would you say this is a Hell Yeah for you? If not, I’d rather hear a No than a half-hearted Yes.”

This makes people feel safe to make an honest choice. And when you do get a Yes, it will be a real one.

In the same way, when you are being persuaded, be comfortable to say NO vs saying half hearted YES. If you're not really feeling, "Hell Yeah, that would be awesome" about something say no..

Simple application at work

1. In Business and Sales: Instead of chasing clients who aren’t committed, qualify them early. If they give a counterfeit Yes, help them say No instead of dragging them through an exhausting follow-up cycle. I have been victim of this but have realizing this skill is most essential to serve the most committed clients!
2. In Leadership: Encourage your team to only commit to tasks they are fully invested in. Half-hearted work leads to mediocre results.
3. In Personal Growth: Stop saying Yes to events, relationships, or habits that don’t align with your goals. If it’s not Hell Yeah!, it’s a No.
4. In Negotiation: A well-known technique is called the "No-Oriented Question." Instead of asking, "Does this work for you?" (which pressures them into a Yes), ask, "Would it be crazy to consider this option?" or "Is this something you’d want to say No to?" This makes the other person feel in control—and ironically, they are more likely to stay engaged.

Enough To Mediocrity!

Too many of us live lives on autopilot, agreeing to things we don’t truly want. Half hearted YES comes from fact that we mediocrity. But when we stop saying counterfeit Yes’s and start embracing No, we can create space for real opportunities. So next time you’re about to say Yes—ask yourself:

Is this a “Hell Yeah”? If not, say No.

And when influencing others, give them the freedom to say No—because that’s how you get a real, lasting Yes.

What do you think? Will you start embracing “Hell Yeah or No”?

Reply and let me know!

Prashanth G

Author, #Persuasion Coach With Cialdini Insitute, # Partner GrowthAspire Helping founders, businesses leaders turn ideas to reality leveraging science of persuasion & Neuroscience at work.

P.S. When the time is right for you, here are a couple ways we can work together:

1. Persuasion Workshops For Businesses - Solve your business challenges with actionable solutions by applying the behaviour science backed influence and persuasion. (Click here)
2. My on-demand 90-Days Unstoppable Sales Success Program, which includes training and 1-on-1 consulting with me. This program focuses on my 5-step methodology (QUEST) to get connected to a lot more prospects, and build relationships with them through strategic messaging, to generate an average of 10-15 sales appointments per month and close deals . (click here)
3. Work with me 1-on-1. Hit reply to this message, tell me about your new idea, business challenge and let me know what you want to work on together. Then I’ll get you the details on my coaching and consulting work.

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