"Leveling Up Life: Swapping Proving for Improving"

Welcome back on "The Journey from Human Being to Being Human."

This week, we're looking at one of the most far-reaching aspects of the transformation: the move from a prove-it culture mentality to one of continuous improvement. Let's try to understand why focusing on improvement—or continuous improvement—beats focusing on proving.

Prove It: A Conventional Trap

We always have a need to establish ourselves in such a fast, competitive world, whether at the professional levels, personal levels, or social circles. We aren't looking to be understood - we want to be recognized and appreciated for who we are. This journey never finishes with high levels of stress, burnout, and feelings of low self-worth. This all can be evident as we compare our lives to those of other people or judge our own self-esteem by external standards.

When we strive to prove ourselves, we are working from a mentality of being driven by fear and insecurity. We are scared to be who we are, as we wonder if it will be good enough for others. We let fear rule our lives.

The Power of Improvement: The Growth Mindset

Improvement, however, shifts the paradigm from being about external validation to self-development. It is about trying to be better than we were yesterday—not trying to be better than someone else today. And it involves recognition of the potential and hard work needed to further develop one's capacities, competence, and character.

With a mindset of improvement, we become lifelong learners—open to experience and challenges. We come to accept that mistakes and failures are part of the learning process, not reflections of our inadequacy. Such an approach builds resilience, adaptability, and a profound sense of fulfillment that cannot be derived from always playing it safe.

Essentially, this means to have a growth mindset. Termed by Carol Dweck, a growth mindset is a belief that we can improve our skills and intelligence through effort. Here's how you can cultivate the growth mindset:

Embrace Challenges

View challenges as opportunities to grow, not as obstacles. Every challenge is an opportunity to learn something new and develop skills.

Learn from Criticism

Instead of taking criticism personally, use it as constructive feedback for growth. Think through what can be learned from the feedback and how you can apply it for further development.

Celebrate Effort:

Emphasize the effort and progress of what was done rather than the result at the end. Recognize all the hard work and determination put into something.

Curiosity

Stimulate curiosity and a desire to explore. Seek out information and new experiences; ask questions; and consider alternative points of view.

Patience

Growth takes time. Be patient with yourself. Change happens incrementally.

Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is the ingredient for focusing on betterment. In other words, it means that we treat ourselves with kindness and caring in times of failure or difficulty. Self-compassion means treating oneself with the tenderness and warmth that one would give to a friend.

Self-compassion helps us to:

Recognize Imperfection - Accept that we are all imperfect and that making mistakes is part of being human.

Negative Self-Criticism - Use positive affirmation in place of negative self-criticism.

Seek Encouragement - Speak to ourselves to keep going and not give up when things become challenging.

Building Better Relationships

Focusing on continuing to improve rather than proving enhances our relationships as well. If we aren't too worried about proving something to others, we can truly live and show up unapologetically ourselves. In these moments of showing up as our true selves, deeper connections, trust, and understanding develop.

Improvement in the professional world years for teamwork and collaborations within the individuals. The commonality which arises is that by helping each other and not competing, we grow together. This in turn creates a collaborative attitude, and hence there is space for more innovation and creativity leading to collective success.

Journey Towards Real Humanity

It is a very important change from proving to improving in what makes a human being. This enables us to face our own nature and to recognize the possibilities and purpose that drive our fulfillment. Focusing on improvement enables us to be resilient, adaptive, flexible, and compassionate role models with the potential to positively influence the world around them.

As we move forward, let us do so with the spirit of continuous growth and development. Let's celebrate our progress as we learn from our mistakes and support each other in each stepping stone. Let's step up together to make this world more compassionate, real, and human.

Thank you for being with us on this journey to observe the importance of the FOCUS on improvement. We are looking forward to continuing this journey with you on future newsletters.

Warm regards,

Vishwanathan Ramchandran (V ! Ram)