Letting Things Go (Unforgiveness)

Hopefully, we will all live long lives. One day, I hope to be old and gray and able to reflect on the good old days. Hopefully, all of us will live until old golden ages when we can reflect on memories of our former selves. Through my travels I have interacted with a lot of older people. They all have a few things in common: Some talk about the joys and wisdom of their past experiences. Some regret that they did not spend enough time with their family. Some feel remorse because they felt they didn’t take more risks in life. Others wish they could have taken care of their bodies better while some think about how they could have loved more. But one of the biggest roadblocks that many struggle with, whether young or old, is the ability to forgive. Forgiving themselves, forgiving others, or releasing those things that you had no control over. Unforgiveness has caused family separation, dissension among groups, violence, poor health conditions, and many scenarios that have resulted in unhealthy results. Yet, despite the consistent negative results of unforgiveness, many people continue to struggle with forgiveness.

So, Don, how can you forgive others who have hurt you, betrayed you, abused your trust? How do you forgive when your environments constantly remind you of an offense?

Whew!!! There’s not an easy answer or something that can be fixed overnight, but here is what is said in Ephesians 4:32:

Be kind and compassionate to one another,

forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

WOW! When you think from the perspective that God forgives us or has forgiven us for our shortcomings, it reminds me that we should always be in an active state of forgiving.

Realistically, forgiveness is easier said than done depending on the offense or how detrimental the offense was in your life. But the truth of the matter is… no matter the offense, God has forgiven us for our public or private shortcomings, which is hard to remember when dealing with people or situations that have wounded your heart. So, here are some tips that I have used to be in a healthy, active state of forgiveness. However, I am still a work in progress.

1.???? Pray without ceasing. Pray for the person, the situation, and yourself daily. Most importantly, pray for yourself that you respond in a manner that is pleasing to God.

2.???? Discern God’s will in the situation. Is this a situation that will help you grow for the better? Evaluate if what was said was true or false, or is this a situation where it’s time to move on?

3.???? Ask yourself if a healthy confrontation is required in this situation. Will addressing the situation lead to more peace or will it make the situation worse?

4.???? Learning strategic engagement: If there is a person or situation that requires constant interaction, you have to be strategic about your engagement with your time, duration, and energy. Remember to use emotional intelligence.

5.???? Go to counseling if needed.

6.???? Benjamin Franklin has a good quote: “Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.” Be mindful about what comes out of your mouth especially when you are weak, tired, and emotionally unstable to yourself and to a person or situation.

7.???? Pray…Pray…and Pray some more!

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In order to fully let things go, it requires prayer and spending time with God and some of the tips above. The enemy will constantly remind you to keep unforgiveness in your heart to keep you bound. Your mind will automatically go back to the hurt, but that is why it’s important to spend time with God to discern a different perspective.? So…

LETTING THINGS GO IS NOT AN OVERNIGHT

PROCESS, BUT IT CAN HAPPEN IN TIME

IF YOU STAY CLOSE TO THE ONE WHO FORGAVE YOU!