Letting Go…Starting Over with Clarity, Passion, and Purpose

The day I realized my life was dictated by fear, everything changed. While I blamed the pandemic, which may have been the tipping point, the real battle was inside my head—a war against self-doubt.

I could see the person I wanted to be, hear the words I wanted to say, and envision the work I wanted to create. The problem was, the foundation wasn't strong enough to support the vision, but the vision was too powerful to give up on. I read every book imaginable to find the answer that would fix me. I moved between Portland, Spokane, and Bend, believing I just needed a new environment. I changed the focus of my work multiple times, thinking that was the problem. While they all provided temporary relief, the effects were short-lived. The answer was buried deep within past traumas, hidden beneath layers of self-doubt and anxiety. I had to journey inward and face them, and by journey, it was more like stumbling into a deep hole and being forced to find my way out the other side.

As I dug deeper into my trauma and understood its roots, the fear began to lose its grip. "If you can see it, you can be it," has become my mantra and guiding light, illuminating the path toward healing and self-acceptance. I'm learning to own my voice, embrace my authentic self, and let go of the fear that has held me back for so long.

So, why share this? Primarily, it feels like an important step in the practice of owning my voice while letting go of the debilitating fear of other people's opinions. The more I practice communicating from the heart and letting go of the voice in my head, the closer I get to becoming the person and photographer I’ve envisioned for so long. My intention has always been to create work rooted in collaboration, authenticity, and heartfulness—I just need to empower my voice to bring it to life.

This journey has taken a toll on my relationships, leaving a trail of misunderstandings and missed connections, leaving little room for building the business. Working on self while in survival mode is not easy, and working on business while neglecting the self is even worse. I can’t say with any certainty where I am on this journey, but I recently had a powerful moment of clarity where the demolition feels complete, and it’s time to begin construction. Part of this process is clearly stating the intentions for my work moving forward and taking ownership of them.

??????????-???????????????? ?????????????????????????? – ???? ?????? ?????? ???? ?????? ?????????? ?????? ???????? ?????? ????????????. When we show up with an open heart, we allow ourselves to be fully seen and heard. This is where the true magic of photography happens: capturing genuine expressions and emotions, and creating portraits that tell your unique story. It’s about more than good lighting and a nice backdrop; it’s about connection, trust, and authenticity. Together, we work toward this ultimate goal, where you feel safe to explore and express yourself while I guide the process with empathy and intuition. My life experiences have honed my ability to see and feel emotion, recognizing the subtle shifts in expression that reveal your true self. Once a tool for self-protection, I now use this gift to elevate my work. Through our collaboration, we create something truly special—photographs that not only look beautiful but resonate deeply and authentically.

?????? ?????????? ???? ?????? ?????????? – ???????????????? ???????? ???????????? ????’???? ?????????????????? ????????. The Power of the Pause is about noticing what energy we’re operating from and ensuring we stay fully present in the process. I aim to create a space where you feel empowered to play and express yourself. As our energy shifts from a heart-centered place to a head-centered one, signaled by anxiety or overthinking, we have permission to pause, breathe, reconnect, and reset. This mindful moment helps us realign with our intention—whether it’s capturing the true essence of my subjects or expressing your authentic self—allowing creativity to flow freely. By embracing this practice, we are empowered to express ourselves without fear or judgment, resulting in photographs that truly reflect who we are.

???????????????? ???????? ???????? – ???? ?????? ?????? ?????? ????, ?????? ?????? ???? ????. I know the nervous anticipation that comes with stepping in front of the camera. Together, we’ll work through this, keeping in mind that creating photographs isn’t a life-or-death situation. Think of how kids act in front of the camera: they play freely and follow their hearts without hesitation. Somewhere along the way, we lose this carefree spirit and get bogged down by limiting beliefs. You booked this session because you want photos that matter, so let’s make the experience both enjoyable and meaningful. For a few hours, this is your chance to explore and embody who you aspire to be. While I cherish authenticity, I also believe in aspirational authenticity. We all have parts of ourselves waiting to be expressed. This is your moment to play, discover those parts, and see how they resonate in a photograph. Give it a try—there’s no judgment here, only encouragement. The worst that can happen is we capture something that doesn’t feel quite right, and then we simply move on to the next shot.

That’s it. My work is still my work, and I welcome you to check it out. What I’m describing above are elements that will make that work even better. One thing I can say with certainty is this approach will enhance the experience, making it far more enjoyable for both of us.

What I need now is to put it into action, which means I need to get the business back up and flowing. Yes, this means I’m asking for your help to get some sessions on the calendar and start creating the work I envision.

You game? Headshots, photoshoots, and video… Whatever you can imagine, I would love to hear from you.

On a side note, I’ve had enough isolation to last a lifetime. I’m welcoming coffee, conversation, and community back into my life. If you happen to be struggling with your own stuff, I would love to sit and listen. Along my journey, I’ve learned a thing or two about listening and communication.