Letting Go of Your Stress
The Wonderful Art of Profound Relaxation
What do you usually do when you feel the need to relax? Do you like to read a book or play a video game? Do you enjoy closing your eyes and taking a nap? Perhaps you find exercise relaxing by going for a walk or a jog in the woods. There are countless ways to take a break and turn down the tension.
But do any of these activities really deserve the term ‘relaxing’?
The fact is that almost everybody today is permanently stressed. Are you surprised? It’s become a fundamental part of our culture. We live in a fast-paced world where the background stress and anxiety have become so completely normal that almost no one remembers what it feels like to be completely relaxed. We’re glued to our smartphones and laptops. We’re so deeply addicted to social media that people experience real anxiety when they don’t have access to their phones. You see people on the beach, supposedly relaxing in the sunshine, with their eyes fixed on their screens. This isn’t necessarily the problem. It’s more of a symptom of an unforeseen malaise that few behavioural psychologists could have predicted. Social media have created a personal and, in many ways, a strangely-isolated cocoon for us where our thousands of ‘friends’ have left us feeling increasingly lonely and separated from the rest of the world. And this, in itself, can be very stressful.
Every now and then go away, have a little relaxation, for when you come back to your work, your judgement will be surer. Go some distance away because then the work appears smaller and more of it can be taken in at a glance and a lack of harmony and proportion is more readily seen.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Our minds and our bodies need rest in order to recover from the stresses and exertions of the day, to process all that’s happened and to bring our mental and physical energy levels back to normal levels of functioning. But this can’t happen when we’re permanently stressed. Recognising that we’re holding onto our physical, mental and emotional stress is an essential step on the pathway towards better health, improved cognitive function and greater wellbeing. Today, the majority of people don’t switch off their stress even when they’re asleep. Clearly, something has to change.
The problem can be illustrated in the way we might think we’re relaxed even though our bodies reveal a radically different interpretation. If you’re experiencing some or all of the following conditions, you’re probably living in a state of permanent stress: poor sleep, a lack of energy, digestion problems, difficulty concentrating, weight gain, an over-active inflammatory response, vanishing libido, physical and mental fatigue, waking up feeling tired in the morning, a feeling of not being in control of your life, outbursts of anger and frustration – these are a small sample of the long list of problems associated with long-term stress.
So, what can we do to change the situation and experience the kind of relaxation that heals and restores our minds and bodies?
Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.
–Chinese Proverb
Learning to relax efficiently begins with the body. We’ve evolved to react very strongly to the presence of danger and we instinctively tense and hunch our shoulders when confronted by a threat – whether the threat is real or purely a product of our imagination. It’s how we’re wired. We hunch up to protect our head and our heart. But then we forget to release the tension. So, our physical stress response becomes our normal posture and our defensive attitude reinforces the feeling that we’re constantly in danger. It’s a vicious cycle of self-reinforcing behaviour.
If you want to learn how to turn down your stress levels, begin with your shoulders and learn how to relax those tired bearers of so much of your tension. In reality, it only requires a small adjustment. You move your shoulders back a centimeter or two, your chest doesn’t move, and then you allow your shoulders to drop to a slightly lower level. Your body will instantly recognise this ancient gesture and begin to turn down the stress response.
Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day
is the rest we take between two deep breaths.
–Etty Hillesum
Relax your jaw too. Take the stress out of your neck, tongue and facial muscles. Try sitting a little straighter. Then you’re ready to introduce the next step in your campaign for a less stressful life. It’s called breathing. Slowing down the breath and breathing a little more deeply can work wonders. We respond very quickly to any change in our breathing patterns. Our thoughts and feelings and physical responses are all conditioned to reflect the way we breathe. A few deeper breaths can work wonders when it comes to calming down and regaining a sense of inner control and balance. I’d strongly recommend that you reserve a few moments every hour to enjoy the feelings of calm and renewal that accompany deeper breathing. It’s easy. It’s simple. It doesn’t require any equipment. And it’s completely free!
Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.
– William Burroughs
The best place for you to fully experience the benefits of deep and restorative relaxation is in your bed. We know that most people don’t sleep well. The research supports this conclusion in many different countries today. Yet this is exactly the time of the day when you need to apply your relaxation techniques in order to guarantee a great night’s rest.
Whilst there’s a great deal of helpful material available on the best ways to ensure a good night’s rest, learning to relax your body from head to toe, breathing more deeply and allowing the bed to support all the weight of your body can work wonders. It’s a feeling of letting go completely. Releasing all the stresses and tensions of the day. Feeling that your body is lighter and floating gently as you let go of your weight and all of your muscular tension.
As you learn to appreciate the benefits of deeper, restorative relaxation, you’ll recognise how stressed you’ve been up until this moment. Now is the perfect moment to develop the habits of deeper, more powerful relaxation. This is the pathway to a healthier, happier and more productive life on every level.
Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is relax.
– Mark Black
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