Letting go of the wheel is hard. It’s also necessary and smart.

I recently took a family vacation.??It was awesome.??It was much needed.??And for my younger self, it would have been difficult.??Let me break this down and include some takeaways that may help as you take your own vacations, try to let go of the wheel and recharge this summer or later in the year.

My family vacation was?AWESOME.??My family and I headed west from Florida staying in the Yellowstone and Grand Teton national parks.??We hiked over 100 miles and saw all sorts of wildlife up-close, including bison, coyotes, elk, black and grizzly bears.??One encounter was a little too close for comfort – a bear suddenly popped out of the woods and chased us, which was memorable and also scared the living daylights out of us.?Our family loves the great outdoors and we love active vacations. This trip was all of that and more, and it doesn’t get any better.??

This trip was long overdue and?MUCH NEEDED.??I suspect that many of you feel the same way, especially given the last year and a half.??I love what I do and the folks I do it with at Holiday Inn Club Vacations (HICV). We help families create new and lasting memories at our 28 resorts throughout the United States.??When it comes to family vacations, I know what I speak, including what you might not see when you travel.??It takes a lot of work to make sure that before the guests arrive and after they leave, everything is taken care of.??And when it is not perfect, heaven and earth are moved to make it right.??It is a labor of love, but it also takes a great deal of effort, creativity, thought, and attention.??I hadn’t taken much time away from work to disconnect and recharge over the last 18 months.??I was ready and needed the break, so did my family.??

For many leaders, including myself early in my career, taking time away is?DIFFICULT.???What is so hard about taking a vacation???If you’ve been in a leadership role, you are likely familiar with the phrase “hope for the best and plan for the worst.”??Hoping for the best is a luxury, while planning for the worst is a necessity and reality that comes with the territory of leadership.??If you haven’t led a team at work, think about being part of a team – if you miss a game, concert, or practice, you feel like you let the rest of the group down.??Still not clicking???Any parents who’ve raised their kids to make smart choices get this.??They leave the nest and you still worry.?

To be clear, our colleagues are not kids, but they do need our support.??Fortunately, I am blessed with a highly experienced leadership team that knows the business and are industry-leading subject matter experts in their fields.??

I’ve posted about?revenge vacationing that generated a lot of reactions.??There is also something called “vacation guilt,” which I don’t subscribe to but I recognize that it is real and often impacts leaders.??Here’s what it feels like: “Balls may be dropped?if I?am not there. Deadlines may be missed?if I?am not there.??The wrong decisions may be made?if I?am not there.”

Does this sound familiar???That IS guilt (conscious or unconscious) and goes in part to our sense of self or more pointedly--ego.??We believe things will fall apart if we don’t have control.?Control is an illusion, seen by individuals blinded by arrogance.

Feeling some sense or degree of guilt is natural.??We care deeply and don’t want to let others down.??Taking our hands off the wheel is tough.??But when we fail to let go, it is self-centered and in the long run, wrongheaded.?

Your letting go allows others to step up and step in.??That builds innumerable important leadership skills (dealing with conflict and ambiguity, and ultimately, making decisions) and instills confidence.??There is a term for it—professional development—that we talk a lot about.??You taking a vacation supports your organization’s career development goals.?

How To Let Go of the Wheel

To make letting go easier, requires planning, work, commitment and investment.??You can’t do nothing for 50 weeks of the year and then leave the keys on the desk with an encouraging ‘you’ve got this’ note or pep talk.??That is irresponsible.??It would be akin to a surgeon doing all the surgeries for 50 weeks and letting his resident do some while he or she was out.??If that were to happen, we would all agree that we would call it malpractice.??But sometimes in business we justify this lack of planning by saying, “they didn’t have enough time to prepare the team before they headed out on vacation, but they needed some time away.”

I believe all leaders should lead by example.??Confession--I didn’t always do this.??At some of my previous companies, “vacation” meant working remotely, and everyone knew it.??That’s on me and it didn’t square up with what I told (and still tell) my team:??I don’t want to hear from you while you’re on vacation and you won’t hear from me unless it’s a five-alarm emergency and we can’t figure something out.??That fire-alarm bell hasn’t rung in my 30-plus years of work.????

Another valuable development strategy involves stretch assignments, which are projects, big and small, that intentionally get people out of their comfort zones.??You set expectations and goals (here’s what success looks like, including measurements and KPIs), along with timelines.??You answer clarifying questions and occasionally check-in to provide encouragement.??Most importantly, you step back.??There are two outcomes—success or failure—that each impart vital lessons for the employee AND you as the leader.

Delegation is another helpful way to make taking the hands of the wheel easier.??It is different from stretch assignments and involves the daily to-do’s.??Picture this: you get an email request that you can handle in short order.??Instead of reflexively taking the ball and responding, hand it off.??Jack or Mary, see the below email.??Please handle.??Thanks.??John.??Is this simple???Yes.??Will it be easy for you???Not always.

Another idea I’ve championed throughout my career falls broadly under ideation.??You set up a companywide program that invites all employees to come up with ideas that help advance the goals and objectives of the business.??The best ideas with the thinking and details that transform concepts into actionable items advance.??That includes having the employees make their case for their idea, taking on feedback and turning something from good to great.??Everyone wins.??

Additionally, there are no substitutes for career development programs and training.??Budgets are invariably tight.??And career development and training investments often get pinched or more when times get tough. 2020 was tough for a lot of businesses and their budgets, but that is not a valid reason to lose focus on leadership development.??How do you develop your future leaders if you are not investing in them today?

In closing, let me share a story that illustrates the importance of valuing unplugged vacation time in the culture of a work environment.??I was recently recruiting a very talented leader.??As part of that process and my conversation with her, she shared that throughout her career, she was always made to feel that there was never time for a break, much less a vacation.??It was qualified permission at best.??You can disconnect, but just make sure you have your phone, work computer and reliable cell coverage. Enjoy your vacation.

We talked about it and I shared my personal beliefs on this subject, and more importantly, that our culture was different. I explained??that she wasn’t going to get hounded at all hours of the day and weekends about this or that, especially the small things that can wait until morning or Monday.??The work has an interesting way of getting done (and done better) without the constant emails and unnecessary phone calls.??She joined our team and has been an all-star.??We chatted recently after she returned from a week-long family vacation and this conversation came up.??John, I didn’t fully believe you about being able to get away—mentally and physically from work.??It turns out you were right, HICV is truly different and I love it. Best decision of my career and my family thanks you for the opportunity.

Being able to clear your head allows you to think smarter.??Truly disconnecting and getting away makes it possible to recharge the batteries, so when you do come back and reconnect, you’re fully present—mentally and physically—and rearing to go.

To sum this all up, yes my vacation was fantastic, welcomed and needed.??And while I like to think I’ve made progress with letting go of the wheel, I still have some work to do on that.

What about you???How do you let go? What??ideas/advise do you have that can help other let go?