Letting Go of Toxic & Negative Attitudes!

Negative:

Marked by denial, prohibition or refusal; marked by absence, withholding or removal of something positive; denying a predicate of a subject or a part of a subject; denoting the absence or the contradictory of something;

lacking positive qualities; disagreeable; marked by features of hostility, withdrawal or pessimism that hinder or oppose constructive treatment

Can you let go of toxic negative attitudes, events or situations?

I have observed that some individuals will not let go—no matter what—of previous negative events that have happened to them.

Let me give you an example.

Some time ago, a CRG Licensed Associate complained to one of our team members about an incident between the Associate and CRG. That was the first we had heard of it, and, of course, we wanted to address the issue immediately. The challenge was that it had happened 13 years prior. Not one person currently with CRG was with the company at that time.

After numerous emails and conversations back and forth about the incident, the Associate would not let go of her toxic thoughts; she stated she never wanted to talk to CRG again.

It is obvious that her negative attitude was dysfunctional and destructive. Not once did she acknowledge that all her negative emotions were stemming from her inability to let go of the situation, rather than from a 13-year-old unkept promise.

It has been proven through medical research that negative thoughts produce damaging chemicals that can harm your physical body.

Negative thoughts can contribute to the following conditions:

• Lowered immune system
• Hypertension
• Stress
• Cardiovascular disease
• Insomnia
• Obesity
• Decreased cognitive functions
• Irritability
• Early death

And that’s just for starters!

So why would people want to hold on to their negative stuff?

• It could be that this approach is all they know.
• Being negative is an activity that gets others’ attention. You can see this behavior in poorly parented children as young as age two. If acting up is the only way they can get attention, guess what they do? Adults act up, too.

The fact is that unless you are willing and able to let go of your toxic stuff, it controls your thoughts, your direction and your outcomes.

Even though CRG wanted to resolve the 13-year-old issue with our Associate, in the end, she was not able to release it. She was not willing to bring closure to her long-term habit of being angry at that long-ago event.

If she had let it go, she would have been able to fully engage in productive work with CRG.

It is unfortunate but, for some individuals, negativity is all they can contribute.

What about you? What would others call you? Toxic, a whiner, a complainer or?

Most of us have stuff that we need to let go. What’s on your list that you need to banish from your mind?

By the way, it does not matter how offensive your stuff was. Just let it go. Why? Because it is damaging your body, mind, soul and relationships!

Think about it! Do you know people with a chip on their shoulder? Do you like to be around people with “chips?” Probably not—because they are toxic!

Some individuals have become so accustomed to being miserable and negative that they don’t understand anything else. In fact, their entire identity is being suffocated by their high-maintenance, drama-driven, dysfunctional personality. These people are on the road to personal destruction. Get off their path as soon as possible so you don’t get sucked into their caustic environment.

Personal relationships are especially corrosive if the parties will not let go of past hurts as they continue to do reruns of previous offenses. In my book, The Quest For Purpose, I cited research that proved that bitterness will shorten your life by an average of seven years.

In all 12-step programs, the first step is letting go.

The only person who suffers from not letting go is the one who will not let go.

Who cares what others have said or done to you? Unless you permit the past to affect you, it cannot. The greatest leaders are individuals who can let go and move on. That doesn’t mean you should condone bad actions or events—just that you are not going to let the detrimental effects from your past continue into your future.

Move on. Don’t let situations or others take you out.

I encourage you to consider the Action Steps below to help you let go of past hurts—while you live your life on purpose.

Action Steps

Letting Go of Your Toxic & Negative Stuff

1. Are there events in your life that you have not let go?
2. If your answer is Yes, list as many as you can—right now!
3. Be real. What is this negative attitude costing you in terms of your overall wellness and enjoyment of life?
4. Be aware that all negative attitudes or thoughts produce harmful toxins in the body that can manifest themselves in physical and mental conditions.
5. Think of a caustic/toxic person who will not let go of the past. What effect does this individual have on others and on you? Honestly, is he or she the type of person you want in your life as a role model or a friend?
6. At this moment, start the process of letting go of stuff that you are still carrying around unnecessarily. What steps can you take to help you achieve freedom from those burdens?
7. Letting go does not condone the events. It means they no longer affect you negatively into the future.
8. Do you know someone who could benefit from this message? Pass it on—or be a real friend and tell the person the real impact of his or her behavior on everyone!
9. To assist your personal journey of growth, I am recommending the following CRG resources:

• Know where you are going by reading and completing the exercises in my book, The Quest For Purpose. This book provides the roadmap and processes to confirm what is most important to you in all areas of your life.
• To identify your natural preferences and strengths, complete the Personal Style Indicator.
• To clarify your core values, complete the Values Preference Indicator.
• To understand how your level of self-worth is affecting your success, complete the Self-Worth Inventory.
• Finally, to determine how your lifestyle is influencing your stress and wellness levels, complete the Stress Indicator and Health Planner.

10. Letting go will provide you the freedom and ability to fully engage and enjoy your life. Don’t wait—do it now!

Until next time, keep Living On Purpose!

Ken Keis

About the Author:

Dr. Ken Keis, is a foremost global authority on behavioral assessment strategies and processes, and an expert in leadership, purpose, and wellness. He has authored over 4 million words of content, including 500 articles, 4 books, and a dozen assessments to help others realize their full potential.

President and CEO of Consulting Resource Group International (CRG), Dr. Keis has worked with many high-profile companies, associations, and industry groups. In the past 30 years, Ken has conducted more than 3,000 presentations and 10,000 hours of coaching and consulting. He is a highly sought-after author, speaker, trainer, media guest and also host of The Secrets of Success Podcast with Dr. Ken Keis.

His latest books, Why Aren’t You More Like Me?, Deliberate Leadership, and The Quest For Purpose!

To learn more on how Ken or CRG can serve you go to www.kenkeis.com and www.crgleader.com .