Letting Go of the Shoulds ??
Katrina Bourke
Speaker| Author | Human Centred Leader | Helping leaders stay grounded, find calm, and lead with clarity and quiet confidence amidst the noise.
Apparently Christmas decorations ‘should’ come down by the 6th or the 8th of January. Mine are down now, but they were still twinkling away well past the 8th of January!
New Years Resolutions? This year I made a list of 25 for 25 - 25 things I’d love to focus on/accomplish or feel proud of by the end of 2025. I was so excited to make that list, but here at the end of January it has become a burden - a shameful reminder of how I’m not keeping up with all the things I ‘should’ be doing.
I am so over ‘shoulds’.
I saw a meme recently that said something like ‘should is a could with shame on top’. Ouch. It’s exhausting.
Many of us work in systems where 'shoulds' are the backbone of our reality.
Deadlines, to-do lists, meetings, and goals are mostly necessary, but the trouble with 'shoulds' is that they often come with a heavy dose of guilt or shame when we fall behind or don’t measure up. It’s the sneaky voice that tells us we’re not doing enough, or we’re not enough.
The trick is acknowledging the reality of these pressures while also choosing how we respond to them.
Grounded Insight
What if, instead of constantly focusing on everything you should do, you paused regularly to check in on what you’re doing and how you’re doing.
Try this:
You’re still navigating a system full of musts, but you get to decide how you show up and lead within that. You’re doing important work. Just don’t let the weight of all the 'shoulds' drag you down. Keep showing up with purpose, even if it’s one small step at a time.
Go well and lead well,
Katrina
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