Letting Go of Self-Limiting Beliefs
Jacqueline R. Robinson,
Empowering women 50 and beyond to create a purposeful and fulfilling second act from my personal experiences, successful second act stories by other women, workshops, and inspiring resources.
“Jackie,? I want to talk to you about something I've been thinking about for a while. Now that the kids are grown and have their own lives, I need to start thinking about doing something for myself. My mind keeps telling me that at age 62, it's too late to pursue something new or learn a new skill.
?But I can't shake off this feeling of being stuck and feeling that it's my time to do more of what I want, like it’s a now-or-never moment in my life. What do you think?”
??“Barbara, that's a feeling that many of us women go through, not just as empty nesters but even as we think about what to do after retiring or making a career change late in life.”
??“I always had a love for flowers and designing floral displays. I used to dream about starting my own business and teaching classes. I guess I'm also afraid of failing, you know? Especially since people keep telling me starting a new venture at my age is unrealistic.”
“It's always possible to rewrite your story, Barbara. Embrace the wisdom that comes with age, but don't let it limit your potential. Besides, this could be the beginning of your second act!”
?“You make a good point, Linda. I should give it a try. It's just hard to break free from the mindset that I'm too old for new adventures.”
“Barbara, I believe in you! And I'll be here to support you every step of the way.”
Barbara’s internal struggle is not uncommon. Many women over 50 and beyond share the same fears and doubts that you may be experiencing right now.? The belief that we are too old to pursue our dreams, feel stuck in life, or that we've missed our chance to find love or success are just a few of the assumptions that hold us back. Self-limiting beliefs are assumptions we make about ourselves. They serve as our inner critic and are often used to shield us from future hurt. But the truth is that we still have so much to offer the world, and our experiences and wisdom are invaluable.
Does any of the following sound like something you’ve been telling yourself?
?1.??? "I can't compete with younger individuals in the professional world."
2.??? “I should accept and settle for my current level of happiness."
3.??? “I'm too old to pursue romantic relationships or intimacy."
4.??? “I’m too set in my ways to embrace change.”
5.??? “I should accept and settle for my current level of happiness."
Then, it is time to let go of these negative thoughts. It’s time to take a deep breath and remind yourself that you are capable of achieving anything that you set your mind to.
Whether it is pursuing a new career, embarking on a new adventure, or finding love, it is never too late. Believing in yourself can be a powerful force that enables you to achieve what truly matters to you. Don't let inner conflicts hold you back any longer. Go ahead and take the first step. You've got this!
Identify What No Longer Serves You
The first step begins with identifying what no longer serves you. What we believe results from our experiences, family, and what we learn from others. They are deep-rooted and something that we subconsciously cling to. Our brains are constantly trying to reinforce these thoughts.
Here are some of the self-limiting beliefs that I struggled with:
It was hard to convince myself that they no longer served me. I could rattle off several reasons to support what I thought. But I had to sit back and think about how I was benefiting from these beliefs. I challenged my first thought by looking around and identifying people living their dreams despite their age. For the second, I had to admit that it served more as an excuse. I was not committed to doing what I had to do to lose weight.
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As for the third, this is a work in progress. There is some technology that I have tried and said, ‘’Where have you been all my life?” However, I? have not embraced it entirely because I still believe it is hard to learn. But I give myself credit for making some progress. At least, I am willing to try it.
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Time to Let It Go
After losing my job, I experienced the powerful benefits of "letting go" when I joined a career placement service. My self-limiting beliefs kept telling me that staying in the program seemed the best thing to do because I was too old to consider an entirely new career.
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After all, getting another job within the same industry would certainly be easier. But I felt miserable the entire time that I was there. It became a battle between logic and my heart.
Over time, my heart won out. I started telling myself that it was still possible to try something new. I adopted a new belief that my best years were not behind me and that there were still more opportunities ahead. Feeling more positive about my future, I left the placement service to pursue my dreams. You know the rest is history if you have read About Inspired.
?But, not all situations are easy to eliminate, especially if it involves a habit, fear, comfort, or a person. I had a family member with whom I couldn't have a healthy relationship, so I set some boundaries and moved on.
Listed below are self-limiting belief examples ?that we tend to cling to but would be better off letting go of:
Letting go allows you to open yourself up to new experiences and opportunities, more happiness, and personal growth.
Strategies to Shift Your Beliefs
In researching information for this blog, I realized that I used two of the strategies suggested on how to overcome self-limiting beliefs and move past what no longer serves you. These methods include:
So, are you ready to adopt empowering beliefs that will allow you to rewrite your story? After identifying her self-sabotaging behavior and embracing change, here's what Karen's story looks like now:
“Hi, Jackie! I have some exciting news to share with you.”
“What is it?”
?“Well, you remember how I was struggling to break free from the mindset that I was too old for new adventures?”
?“Yes, Barbara, I remember. What happened?”
?“I decided to take your advice and give it a try. I started designing floral arrangements for events and taking courses on how to start a business.”
?“Wow, Barbara, that's fantastic! You're really living your second act.”
?“Yes, I am. And I couldn't have done it without your encouragement and support.”
?“I'm so proud of you.? Keep up the great work!”
?“Thanks, Jackie. I will. And you know what? It's never too late to start living your dreams.”