Letting Go Of Resilience To Become Stronger

Here's what happens when strong women give up being resilient and fight back!

My client Marra* is a powerhouse. I've known her for years and have always admired her drive, commitment to elevating other women, and her passion.

Last winter, however, something broke.

Marra* broke.

True burnout will stop you in your tracks!

Marra* is the kind of woman who's always gotten things done.

She's a hard worker.

A money maker.

A caretaker.

A connector.

A leader.

Deep down inside, she's a constant worrier.

Marra's resilience was her pride and her downfall.

When Marra* asked if I'd coach her, she had one goal: "I don't want to fall back into those patterns of self-sacrifice and exhaustion."

She'd gotten a promotion, a larger team, a bigger salary. She got another corner office. And she got dumped on again, and again, and again.

Within a month, she was back to her old ways

• 1st priority, take care of her family.
• 2nd, make sure her direct reports are thriving
• 3rd, meet clients' needs
• 4th, make the bosses happy
• and somewhere at the bottom of a much longer priority list was "take care of Marra*."

When you're caught in a cycle of high performance, exceptional standards, deep commitment to leadership, and working for an organization that values results over well-being, it's easy to lose sight of what you're giving up in the name of success.

The greatest gift I can give my clients is to get them to slow down - even as they tell me they barely (if at all) have the time for our coaching.

As they slow down and finally make time to dig deep and take a long, honest look in the mirror, they suddenly see their choices, actions, and options for what they are.

With high-level coaching, the structure of a proven system, and the incredible support of a large community, Noteworthy women are primed for action and set up for success.

After years of killing herself to be successful and being trapped, Marra* broke free of the gilded cage.

She reordered her priorities (we'll she's actively working on it):

• 1st, take care of Marra*
• 2nd, take care of family
• 3rd, define what right for Marra* looks like at this junction in her life and her career
• 4th, create a powerful plan of action to build that life

Marra* is done with devoting herself to an organization that didn't reciprocate the devotion. She said she felt immediately relieved and free.

She's learning to slow down in the mornings and check on herself before she checks in with the world.

She's discovering that she can both be ridiculously successful and deeply fulfilled.

True resilience is a gift. Toxic resilience, on the other hand, is inner strength that manifests as unhealthy self-sacrifice. Just because you can handle it doesn't mean that you have to.

When we dug deep with Marra*, we discovered that her drive to be the best leader, provider, professional, and caretaker she could be was fueled by childhood stressors.

By helping her rewrite her own story, Marra* can now make choices based on the realities of her adult life rather than the echos of her childhood stressors.

She'll be a more successful human, a better leader, and a much happier and healthier woman for having done this work.

Are you a Marra*?

Are you like Marra*? Do you know someone like Marra*?

On October 2nd, we're launching Elite Executive , our newest group coaching program.

This is not a course or an accelerator.

Elite Executive is a deep coaching experience designed for powerful women with big ambitions who know that maintaining the bandwidth to reach their goals requires more than just "pushing through."

Not everyone is right for Elite Executive. If you're curious whether you're a fit:

1) Review the program here ,

2) HIT REPLY or CLICK HERE to schedule a connection call with me. We're officially enrolling, and executives who join by 9/15 get $5,000 off + four- 1:1 coaching sessions with me (another $5,000 value)

Worldwide, smart, ambitious executive women work three times as hard for a fraction of the influence they deserve. Invisible, indispensable, and impotent, success becomes a gilded cage rather than the key to more freedom, fulfillment, and impact.

Excellence-driven, they show up fully for everyone - all the time - and discover that high-level success can come at too high a cost if you don't have the right systems or support.

I've made it my mission to help women in senior leadership show up with authority, own their value, leverage their influence, and make a meaningful impact without sacrificing everything on the altar of success.

I lead this work through Noteworthy, an exclusive executive coaching and consulting firm that advances senior executive women in STEM and finance and supports companies that seek to retain, elevate, and attract them.

This work has transformed the lives of hundreds of executive women in the US and Europe and changed workplaces for the better at scores of companies ranging in size from agile start-up to Fortune 100.

We're launching Elite Executive , a year-long small-group coaching/mastermind experience for Executive Women who are driven to excel, feel compelled to make a difference, and believe that their mission & drive shouldn't come at the cost of their fulfillment and happiness.

Interested? Let's talk!

• Connect with me on LinkedIn here.
• Jump on a 20-minute connect call here.
• Need a great speaker for your event, newscast, show, or podcast? Email me [email protected]