Letting Go of the Pain

How many of us cling to the discomfort of our emotional wounds? How often do we feel the persistent numbness of the scars that remind us of our close encounters with disappointment, heartbreak and rejection? Why do we insist on reliving over and over again the painful episodes from our past? Part of the answer lies in our evolutionary history. We’re hardwired from birth to be more aware of anything that could threaten our safety or survival. So, we instinctively gravitate towards the experiences that brought us the greatest pain. It’s one way of avoiding a possible repetition of the same circumstances. But, this particular trait can get in the way of our ability to live a life that is free from the limiting influences of our past. It’s time to explore a better way.

Let’s start with a simple question. Do you ever challenge your emotional reactions? Have you ever raised your palm and told yourself to just stop whatever you’re feeling? I know. It sounds like a very strange idea. But it’s the foundation of a very effective technique for interrupting the flow of your emotional energy. We could call it an aspect of mindfulness because you deliberately introduce a moment’s pause in your stream of consciousness and use the space to select the thoughts or feelings that best support your wellbeing, happiness and peace of mind. In other words, you learn to choose how you wish to feel. Rather than carrying the old, conditioned, pain-based, emotional reflexes, you grant yourself the freedom to feel calmer and open to a broader array of choices.

When you turn your focus towards a happier, healthier set of alternatives, the past loses its grip on your perception. As you select better thoughts and feelings, there is less energy available to fuel your pains. The new habit of feeling strong, positive and in control of your mental and emotional energy overrides the old behaviours and opens up the possibility of a brighter, more fulfilling future.

It’s also helpful to recognise that all of our access to the past is shaped by our memories. You cannot hold a memory in your hand nor grasp its emotional content with your fingers. We possess the potential to free ourselves from the cascade of feelings and images that make our memories seem so real. But, just like an emotionally-charged movie, we have the natural ability to turn off the channel and choose something more uplifting, edifying, supportive and healthy. Choose something more appropriate to your needs today.

?[email protected]