Letting Go and Moving Forwards

One of the most difficult challenges that we face during the course of our lives is the need to let go of the things that no longer serve our best interests. Letting go – as most of us know – certainly isn’t easy. We instinctively hold onto our more vivid memories as well as our possessions as a way of making our lives seem more certain. We prefer the old and familiar to the uncertainty of the new and potentially unknown. Even when those emotionally-charged memories remind us of painful episodes and earlier difficulties that are no longer relevant to where we want to go or who we want to become.

In the simplest terms, this is how we become trapped in the past. This is how we fall into the repetitive cycle of recreating the past and constantly reliving some of the most unpleasant episodes from our lives. We develop a very deep emotional attachment to these events and we find it very difficult to sever the connection. We can see this every day in repeated examples of inappropriate relationships, harmful behaviours, self-doubt, unfulfilled potential and an unwillingness to grow and experience life within a much happier and healthier framework.

You don’t need strength to let go of something.

What you really need is understanding.

?- Guy Finley

The principle drawback to this pernicious habit is that we perpetuate these unfortunate experiences by projecting our setbacks, failures, disappointments and tragedies into the future. And it’s time to set ourselves free from this limiting behaviour and discover how different life can be when we purposefully liberate ourselves from the deadweight of the past.

A bridge can still be built while the bitter waters are flowing beneath.

?- Anthony Liccione

You can determine a great deal about an individual’s perspective from their use of tense. If they prefer to dwell in the past and constantly refer to the difficulties and disappointments they’ve encountered, there’s a high probability that they’re living in their own private and negative interpretation of what they think happened. The human memory, particularly in the areas of emotional recollection, is not a reliable or accurate source of data. The way we experience the past easily evolves into a series of highly-nuanced stories that usually bear little resemblance to what actually happened.

Yet our recollections can appear to be so vivid and compelling that we naturally assume that they represent the most accurate and unquestionable record of whatever we experienced. And this emotionally-biased recollection takes the story into the realm of fantasy. The more we repeat the fable, the further it drifts from the reality it is supposed to be based upon. And it would also be unwise to challenge anybody’s version of the past. We become fiercely attached to our personal interpretation of events and resent any suggestion that we might’ve misrepresented whatever took place. Such is the dilemma of the human memory! It is both unreliable and subject to the wildest distortions - yet jealously guarded as if it provided the only precious connection we possess to our past and our sense of identity.

To let go is to release the images and emotions, the grudges and fears, the clingings and disappointments of the past that bind our spirit.

?- Jack Kornfield

How many hurts do we store in the deeper recesses of our hearts and minds? How much anger is bubbling away beneath the surface, fueling our resentment and reinforcing the debilitating role of victim? How much energy is poured each day into the crucible of these completely unreliable memories, dissolving our confidence and corroding our belief in a fresh, new and better future? It’s time to channel that precious power into a more suitable channel of self-expression. It’s time to let go of the past and embrace a much finer and happier vision of the future.

The real challenge in this deep-rooted habit is to turn our attention away from the past and create a view of the future that is completely unconnected with our problems, limitations, fears and history.

Against a background of disappointment in our personal lives, for example, we can open our hearts to new possibilities and discover relationships that are beautifully and powerfully enriching. Against a background of material struggle, we can develop opportunities in which our talents are free to flourish and then greater levels of prosperity can be created. Against a background of a lack of self-belief, we can learn to breathe new life into our confidence and rise above our limitations.

You’ve got to make a conscious choice every day to shed the old –

whatever “the old” means for you.

?- Sarah Ban Breathnach

We can’t look at the past and the future at the same time. So, let’s make a simple choice to focus our attention on the future. But with a new and powerfully positive set of clear expectations that will drive our lives towards much happier and more successful outcomes.

It’s time to leave the past where it belongs: behind you. Discard the baggage you’ve been dragging in your wake for far too long. Notice how different you feel when you let go of the weight of the past. You move more quickly, you feel lighter, there’s much less resistance. Simply because you are no longer weighted down by the tons of old memories that are not relevant to where you’re going.

Letting go is undoubtedly one of the greatest challenges that each of us must face - but it also provides the gateway to a new level of personal growth, freedom and empowerment. Make today the day when you emerge from the shadows of the past to celebrate your new life in the brilliant light of a wonderfully vibrant future.

You can only lose what you cling to.

?- Buddha

Greg Parry created The Wellness Foundation and the Cognitive Empowerment Programs specifically to help people master their stress, overcome their limitations and explore the power of their true potential.

If you enjoy these blogs, you can imagine how much fun it is to have Greg in the room as an inspirational and highly perceptive speaker. If you’d like to invite Greg to talk to your company or organisation or event, feel free to get in touch.

[email protected]