Letting Go: A Lesson in Leadership

As a Leader, are you overprotective of your "perceived" role?

Do you hold on to old Perceptions while guiding your team on what to do?

How far are you able to Let Go, Allow and Empower your team members so they can learn their own leadership lessons?

This reminds me of a story. I recall a time when my daughter and I were participating in a jungle-trekking activity. She was just a toddler, but she was blindfolded while I was tasked to guide her through the jungle path.

It was a highly stressful experience for me. I remember holding her so tightly that my palm was drenched in sweat despite it being a cold and breezy morning. I made sure that I guided her carefully and thoroughly by giving my instructions in a loud and repetitive manner. While walking, I hunched and bent down so that I’m closer to my daughter as we walked; the back pain was seriously unbearable!

Suddenly, I was struck by a realisation. And I let go…

What I let go of was my overprotective demeanour, my worries and my fears. I also let go of my usual behaviour of how I had babysat her since she was a baby.

What I never let go of was my role as a mother: I never let go of her. And most importantly, I never let go of my intention for her to learn and grow.

As I let go, the jungle trek journey continued, but this time in ease and flow. I did not compromise on myself and my well-being. And this still applies to my role as a mother until today. It was a valuable lesson learned.

After the activity, I made these reflections:

·??????As time passes, do we still hold on to old and un-renewed PERCEPTIONS in our minds?

·??????Are we AWARE that things have changed around us?

·??????Do we allow ourselves to CHANGE our behaviours to something which fit ourselves and others better in the current situation?

Check-in, and use your INTENTION as your guide ??

The Leadership Lesson ??

As a leader moves up the ladder in his leadership role, from supervisor to junior manager, or from junior to senior leadership, it is important for us to be aware that our positions have changed. As such, the skillsets and approaches that we use to lead may need to change too.

One of the common pitfalls which prevent us from moving up the ladder and becoming an all-rounded leader is saying “I did it that way,” or worse, “what I did was successful with a good track record.”

What this refers to are past events that brought the leader to where they are today, but the context has changed in the present day.

The person or team whom I am leading now, does not come from the same background or context as I did. Therefore, allowing them to use their own way, empowering them to be curious and try, and permitting them to learn from mistakes are far more valuable than making it right for each step that they take.

Remember: We are who we are today, not just from the successes we had, but the failures, too!

The Metaphor ??

The Chinese have an ancient saying, “I eat salt more than you eat rice.” ????

This is the common mindset of a leader who is not able to let go.?

Let’s pause, and think about it ??

1.??????Experience is something that we accumulated and experienced all by “ourselves”.

As a leader, creating and allowing for that experience to take place for our team members is important.

2.??????Times have changed, so having an Agile Mindset is important for leaders and their teams.

The experience that leaders had may be baggage preventing change, and by extension, preventing us from becoming a leader of today, or a leader of tomorrow.

3.??????As a leader in the here and now, think and look beyond.

Just as I allow my team to make mistakes, do I also allow myself to do so? What’s in me that needs to be thrown away so I have the opportunity to taste new flavours, other than just the rice and salt? ??

Letting Go: Useful Guides for Leaders

1.???Be Curious

The moment we perceive that we know more, think we have more experience or stopped exploring, it is a sign that we are carrying our old baggage with us. Let it go and ask more questions by probing more. Engage with our team with an open mind.

2.???Be Open

When our team members reply to our questions, be open to their replies. Ask more questions to understand better, and go deeper in getting to know them and their points of view.

3.???Be Tolerant of Failure

We are all work-in-progress. Failure is the most powerful source for building our know-how and understanding. It’s a priceless lesson about survival which leads to renewal and reinvention of yourself and the organisation you are leading.

“The fastest way to succeed is to double your failure rate,” said Thomas Watson, Sr., former IBM CEO.

Having such an approach to making mistakes will turn you into a unique breed of “failure-tolerant leaders”. These leaders are proactive in helping their team members to overcome their fears of failure. As a result, it creates a culture of intelligent risk-taking, and this leads to continuous innovation. Hence, these failure-tolerant leaders don’t just accept failure, they encourage it!

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Get more insights about Leadership Lessons in Letting Go in my short virtual talk on “The Hero In Me” (60 to 90 mins), 1-day workshop on “Compassionate Conversation for Leaders” or engage me for one-on-one HEART-centred Leadership Coaching.

Connect with me at https://wa.me/+60193142188 or email [email protected]