Letting Go for Dear Life

Letting Go for Dear Life

The last 5 weeks have been a world wind for me of co-designing and co-facilitating powerful transformation projects in different domains - women’s leadership, health equity, epic marriage design and, most recently, imagining the evolutionary shift from human supremacy to humans’ sacred reciprocity for all life

I have been struck by the common theme running through all these disparate convenings. In all cases, there is an unchallenged meta-narrative of “that’s the way the world works” that locks the protagonists into a future plot line that continuously shapes the beliefs and actions of the characters. Unlike individual stories of what happened in the past, narratives shape the futures tories. The word “narrative” comes from the Latin verb narrare ("to tell"), which is derived from the adjective gnarus ("knowing”).? Narratives embed unchallenged assumptions. and create a system of stories that frame the conversations, identify the issues, define the problems, and shape the solutions.

For example:

For women - the narrative of either “I am not enough” or “I have to dim my light” controls the character’s future development and decisions.

For a health care company - the economic/finance narrative of how to account for value is distorting the ability to define and deliver health to everyone, contrary to their mission.

For committed couples - the story of needing to give up something of the “I” to become “We” keeps dreams short-changed (for both the I and the We).

And for the Human Species - the “top of the food chain” narrative of human supremacy is creating individual isolation and collective destruction.

In all cases - the existing narrative “system” - be it familial, patriarchal, capitalistic, or cultural - is producing the exact results it was designed for! If we want to liberate the future, we must reimagine and redesign the system of stories that we were born into.

(Note: This commitment to shift the system of beliefs explains the picture at the top of the newsletter.? Two weeks ago, Rob and I led a 5-day 75-person DesignShop? on behalf of the Pachamama Alliance to accelerate the evolutionary leap from the dominant system of human supremacy to human beings’ sacred reciprocity for all life, at speed and at scale.To help guide the narrative, we created an “expert” booth manned by systems-thinker architects.)

This brings us to our next EPIC! Rule of the Game:

EPIC Rule #25. We are in recovery from the moment we are born: It’s a sign of good health.

Here is the good news. We are not the system. We were born into the system that began to work its will on us from our first breath. As 100% vulnerable, dependent little humans in our family, we began the systemic process of learning “how to be and what to do” to be loved, liked and safe.? We continue refining our “how” and our “what” as we traverse new territories of school, friendships, work, partnerships, and family. As we cross the threshold of different stages of life – childhood, adolescence, adulthood, elder – and eventually essence, we most likely revisit the “Why” of our existence.??

After all – we now know that we are not the only animal with tools, or the only species with language.? We might be the only “religious” species. Conscious that we were born with a birth sentence and a death sentence, born and fated to die, we ask the question“why?”.?

This consciousness allows us to constantly go to the balcony of our lives – the place with a sweeping view of all that has come before and all our dreams that are waiting to be fulfilled.? It gives us the choice of shifting the narrative and letting go of all the old stories that clearly no longer serve us.

This sweeping perspective of past, present, and future allows us to navigate through various conflicts and trapdoors.?Here is what I have learned in my own life and through the experiences of the Decade Gamers that I have coached. ?A crisis or conflict in one’s life starts with the symptoms of resistance.?? Resistance happens when what is longing to happen meets the “status quo”.

Here is what this EPIC! Rule tells us to do. Trust what is longing to happen for you.?It has been with you since the moment you were born. It has more power ?than the current state of any system.? It just takes removing one misplaced piece of the system jigsaw puzzle to weaken the hold that the system has on you.??

Throughout our lives, we are on a journey to uncover our purpose (our why), recover our power to live into our dreams, not our fears, and discover our destiny.? In other words - let go for dear life of the narrative that holds you back. ?It got you here, but it won’t get your there.

Love and light,

Carolyn

PS. Instead of settling for growing old together, why not grow EPIC! together! After years of requests, Rob and I are teaching a Decade Game Workshop for Couples at the amazing Modern Elder Academy in Santa Fe Nov 11 - 16. Enrollment is limited to 12 couples in order to create the intimacy and opportunity for life long friendships to emerge. If you and your partner want to learn more and have a chat with Rob and me, ?please email me at [email protected] and we will set up a time.