Letting go of the cry baby in me.

Every one at home calls me by my nick name, Phala. This is a two-pronged name that could mean either an "Impala" or a "Whistle". I'm told that both meanings apply to my name. Apparently I was a very energetic, keen and alert baby girl, just like the Impala. Another characteristic that made me stand out as a baby, was how I cried with a passion. My grandmother shared that, unlike any other baby she raised, I cried the loudest and the most frequent, it was almost like I was a human whistle.

It is the cry baby aspect of me that I want to focus on in this article, because I am very sure from my lived childhood experiences that I grew up with it. I am only 26 now and I can ascertain without a doubt, that I have been an overly emotional being almost all of my life. Any unfavorable circumstance, any rejection, disappointment or reality that did not pan out how I planned, was always met with an overflowing measure of tears and tantrums. This was such a repetitive rhythm to my life because I was such a committed cry baby, in all aspects of my life.

I however, remember the exact moment in time when I started breaking away from this lifelong rhythm. It was one evening in November 2019, when I stumbled upon, " The Slight Edge Principle", a remarkable book by Jeff Olson. I read this book out of frustration. There I was, a 23 year old, un-employed with a six month year old baby girl, feeling helpless and stuck in life. What the heck was I doing with my life? What happened to the assertive little girl, who had a bright and promising future ahead of her? Why did I keep re-living the same stagnant and unfulfilling life over and over again? As I kept scrolling through the pages of this book, with all million of my questions at the back of my mind, Jeff Olson said something that made me stop in my tracks,

"You are the rescue team you have been waiting for! No one is coming to save you".

That stuck with me even as I continued through the book and finished it. Now as I look back to that day, I can see why that statement out of everything, resonated with me on such a deeper level. As someone who had been a cry baby all my life, I got carried away by the rhythm and forgot to "stop crying". Babies cry all the time because that's their immediate way of communication! I bet on a typical day a baby is like, " Boy am I hungry! Alright let me start throwing a tantrum so that this, adult who is responsible for me, can get a hint to feed me. Boy this nappy is too wet for my liking, let summon the nappy changer, by my wailing power." Ok this train of thought just me giggle a bit??

Anyway, my point is that; babies cry because that's the only way at their disposal to communicate their need for help or attention. A baby cannot change his own nappy or feed himself hence the cry for help. But there's a time that they are no longer babies or even kids, and they have to learn to take responsibility for their own lives. That was my biggest Eureka! moment right there,

" You can't be a cry baby all your life. You have to a reach a point where the crying stops and accountability begins!"

This right here is why I'm starting this newsletter, so that I can share my journey of how I'm letting go of the cry baby in me daily, and learning self- accountability as a lifestyle and attitude. I hope as you go through each new article every two weeks, you too can develop a new perspective on accountability and use it to transform your life for the better.

Through this newsletter , I would like to be your "Accountability Partner" and have you as mine.

Cheers to a new beginning??????????