Letters to my 22 year-old Self – Part XIV – "Patience Young Grasshopper”

“The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it.” – Arnold Glasow?

“One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.” – Chinese Proverb

Dear Shawn –

Your attitude from a very young age has always been to face issues head-on, take care of business and try to disappoint as few people as possible along the way. You have also had a very strong sense of urgency when it comes to priorities and decision making. While this has served you well, as you have gotten older you have also learned how to leverage patience and reflection to achieve better long-term outcomes.

Acquiring the ability to be patient has been one of your greatest achievements in your career. Why? Because it flies directly in the face of your desires to resolve open issues and achieve forward progress and means waiting for someone or something else to happen that is outside of your direct control.

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You're no different than any other human in that you love a good hit of serotonin and you relish the sense of immediate gratification that comes with resolution. It's also very healthy for you to jump in, take calculated risks and see what happens. But, before jumping into action it's important to reflect on what I like to call "type 1" and "type 2" decisions;

"Type 1" decisions are ones that can and should be made quickly -

• They are relatively simple and don't require significant reflection
• The financial and personal consequences of making a bad one are minimal
• Adjusting course from a bad decision is relatively simple and can be executed quickly
• Examples of these might be something like "Should I attend this meeting?", "Should I invest time in this training course?", "Should I try this new initiative?"

Conversely, "Type 2" decisions are ones that require patience, reflection and guidance before proceeding

• They are complex, involve multiple people and have a long chain of impacts
• The financial and personal consequences of making a bad one could be severe
• Adjusting course from a bad decision is difficult, expensive or even dangerous
• Example of these might be something like "Should I take a new role at new a company?", "Should I get married?", "Should I have children?"

When it comes to "Type 2" decisions here is how I have learned to assess these kind of decisions and how to allow for adequate time and reflection before taking action.

1 – The immediate reaction text/email that never gets sent - As I discussed in a previous letter there are times when we will suffer from an "Amygdala Hijack" causing a fight-or-flight response before our pre-frontal cortex can assess and reason logically. If you feel that you absolutely need to get your raw thoughts into writing put it in a note (in draft form) and either send it to yourself or save it for reflection later.

2 – The 24/48-rule - Take 24 hours to fully think about the decision that lies ahead. Think of the stakeholders in the decision, the potential impacts and rewards and the key factors that will drive success. Write them down (you will need them later). After 48 hours take a final look at the notes you have gathered ensuring that you have captured all of the relevant points. During this period of time do not discuss the decision with other people. This is essential as the first 48 hours provide a "cool-off" period for you to get a more balanced view, a calm mind and a healthy emotional state.

3 – Review the decision with your personal "Board of Directors" - Think of the 5 people in your life that can best help you assess this decision. These people could span your family, your professional network and beyond. Ask them for 15 minutes to discuss your key decision and to gain their input BEFORE making a decision. (I will touch more on the concept of a "Board of Directors" in a follow-on letter)

4 – Make the decision, communicate it clearly and commit to it - Once you make your decision, ensure that all parties are aware of it and make sure that your mindset is tuned to success even in the face of unexpected obstacles

Patience and reflection are critical skills in decision making and will serve you well in your career and your life. Use them to your advantage.

If you enjoyed this write-up here are direct links to the rest of the series.

Part I - "Keep an eye on the gas gauge"

Part II - "What's the worst that can happen?"

Part III - "What's the ONE THING"

Part IV - "Navigating the ups and downs of a career in sales"

Part V - "Don't eat the marshmallow"

Part VI - "Not every mountain is Mt. Everest!"

Part VII - "Anchor your career with your towering strengths"

Part VIII - Do you choose the red pill or the green pill?

Part IX - "Managing your Monkeys"

Part X - "Attacked from Within"

Part XI - "The mirror does not lie…."

Part XII - "The Time Machine is broken"

Part XIII - “Don’t forget where you came from”