Suddenly, life has gotten pretty complex! Just a few years ago you were a university student where you had little to worry about outside of academics. You controlled your schedule, you had the ability to change any plans on a whim and you really only had to worry about yourself.
Over the last few years, a lot of very positive changes have also brought with them a much larger sphere or responsibility and with that a larger group of individuals who depend on your care and support. Initially, this started when you got married to your college sweetheart and committed to building a life and a home together. After that, you decided to start a family and had 3 beautiful children. At the same time your parents, who always put your needs ahead of theirs retired from the workforce and started their "golden years". Moreover, this your success in the corporate world has been rewarded with promotions bringing a responsibility for larger businesses and larger teams.
With all of this new responsibility you have found it challenging to manage your schedule and also to make the right decisions and keep all aspects of your life in balance. Let me share some of what I learned and what worked to try to keep it all in check.
- Put the BIG ROCKS in first - Decide what elements of your personal life are of paramount importance and put them into the calendar first. These may be regular weekly events (your kids sporting event) or one-time events (recitals, family vacations). Be generous with the rest of your schedule but hold these scheduled events as scared time and do everything possible to not schedule over them. Inspired by one of my favorite youtube videos
- Make the tough choices instead of compromising - Although it might seem like a better decision to try to combine or multi-task parts of your day it will be clear to those around you that they don't have your attention and that while your body is present, your mind is somewhere else. In circumstances where something urgent interrupts existing plans ask those around you for an appropriate time to step away so you can have some focused time to manage it.
- Check in your direct reports every week for a 30 min scheduled 1:1 - These meetings are not forecast or initiative reviews; they are focused time to discuss how your directs are feeling and where you can help them be more successful. You should hold these firm in your calendar while your directs reserve the right to cancel if don't have any pressing issues or need the time back to deal with urgent issues.
- Intentionally block 90 mins of "Slack Time" every day - Block scheduled time to plan your day and deal with administrative tasks outside of core working hours. This can be as simple as 45 mins first thing in the morning and 45 mins at the end of the day. This slack time will serve as a valuable buffer to get ready and pack up outstanding issues before coming home to your family
- Be honest with those around you when you are distracted - As much you try to focus and be "in the moment" there will be times when you are distracted thinking about something going on in another part of your life. While you don't need to always discuss the reasons for your distraction you it does help to share the fact that you are distracted with those around you and even giving them the option to reschedule their meeting if they want your full attention.
- Manage your reactions to the unexpected - No matter how much you plan and how much you try to prepare unexpected events will occur and, in some cases, they will even force a major change to your schedule. As difficult as it may be, try to spend little time blaming yourself (or others) or asking yourself "why" it happened and instead accept that it has happened and that the most productive use of time is figuring out how to best manage the situation.
- Family comes first, no matter what - There are times when personal and professional commitments will collide resulting in tremendous pressure on your schedule. These events are rare, but drawing from some of the advice above try to be honest and transparent with those around you, manage your reactions and take care of your family. Once things have stabilized leverage extended family and friends to assist where possible to help you return to your professional commitments.
Life comes with a ton of competing priorities and your personal and professional life will overlap. With some planning and the right mindset you will be in a great position to navigate them.
This letter is based off of learnings I acquired early in my career working closely with Paul C. - His calm demeanor and willingness to talk was so critical in managing my career as my family life took flight.
If you enjoyed this write-up here are direct links to the rest of the series.
