Letters from a Father - Happy 4th Birthday.

To my son, Aeden, Happy Fourth Birthday! 

Time is such a funny thing. It waits for no-one, it allows no retakes, it has a funny knack of surprising you when you least expect it; and it's never been more true. The time we are living in currently has never been more unexpected.  

Since you were born, I have written you a letter on each of your birthdays. My aim has always been to capture the learnings of our lives, from the year gone by, so that when you are old enough to understand, you may read these letters from your father and hopefully gain from the wisdom of the years we spent together. 

Every year, I write the letter with so much joy and appreciation for the experiences your mother and I have been fortunate to share with you. But this year is different. I tear up writing this letter because of the sadness and suffering that our world is facing right now. 

When you grow up you will read about - and learn of - the Coronavirus Pandemic of 2020. The year the world lost. The year a microscopic inert string of proteins and sugars infected people in every country on Earth, led to hundreds of thousands of deaths, caused millions of people to lose their jobs, as the world’s economy crashed, and we as a species faced our biggest challenge for close to a hundred years. The year the virus changed how we consume, how we interact and how we live.

I am sorry for all the No’s.

I am sorry for the number of times I have had to say no to you this year. “No, we can't go out and play right now”, “No, we won’t be going to school”, “No, we can't visit your friends” and the one which hurts me the most “No, we can’t see your grandparents today”. Your sister Eva and you are so young, so full of innocence and hope and saying no to you both hurts your mother and I. Especially today, on your birthday. 

How long this period will last I do not know. But I do know that things will not be the same again; not for a very long time. 

What you will learn, as you grow up however, is that your father has always been a “glass half full - person”. Even in this global tragedy, we must learn to see the opportunity which presents itself to us and that is what I would like to share with you today on your fourth birthday. It is a framework - which I have lived my life for many years - and I feel it has never been more important to share it with you, and others, than it is today. 

It is called R-E-S-O. 

Relevance: Each of us has skills which are relevant to the challenge we face. Whether personal or professional, there is never a time where we do not have some ability to counter the obstacle in front of us. Find it, use it and let it be the starting point to build others. Each of us must find our relevance today. 

Engaged: Once you identify your skill, engage. Make sure you do so with all the stakeholders in your ecosystem. Starting inside out - engage with the people at home, in your community, your business or organisation, those who have more than you have and more importantly - with those who have less, engage with your country and beyond. Understand that your sphere of influence is bigger than you think. When faced with a challenge, what the world needs is active participants not eight billion passive passengers. Each of us must engage our skill set today. 

Sustainable: What we have learnt most from this crisis, and others in history, is that real solutions are the ones that create the most impact by standing the test of time; those that are sustainable. We need to re-examine every facet of our lives now and think carefully about building a future which is sustainable to the challenges we will face again. How we manage our lives, our teams, our business models, our material consumption and most of all our footprint on the planet. We need to become sustainable as a species again. 

Optimistic: For too long we have allowed negativity, cynicism, uncertainty and fear to rule our lives. It has divided us, pegged man against man, people against people. It must stop today. A child is born not knowing hate, fear, bias or judgement. Why must we then instil these qualities growing up? The one thing which is equally contagious is a smile and nothing spreads optimism more than optimism itself. 

Aeden, it is my hope that these simple four steps will help you be a better person and perhaps allow you to contribute more positively to the testing times you will face, as a man, in the years to come. 

Your mother and I will do our best today to make it as special for you as we can. We have each other after all and that is the best thing any of us could have ever asked for in the time we have available on this planet. 

I love you. Always have, always will.

Stay safe. 

Your father. 

Photos: My favourite day of 2019 - the day the three of us spent in the New Forest, England.