A Letter to my Younger Self....

They say, life starts at 40. Getting to that threshold, I try to express my learnings and experiences....Like any other individual, I have had moments both dark and bright, phases of luck and times of misfortune. Even with all things and times which I might want to forget, I am grateful for this life and would not trade it for any other.

While I try to narrate my learning and reflex thoughts, there are a few things which I want to tell my younger self getting into adulthood. Although, he is a stubborn bloke, it is in my best interest to lay them down. I am doing this with a conscious mind that what I am today is because of the deeds done by that young fellow.

Let’s roll it out…

Dear Younger self,

Congratulations!!! You are an adult now.

There surely comes more freedom and sense of liberation when you reach this stage. You must be too eager to do stuff which so far has been strictly labelled for grown-ups, trying your hand on things including a few amusing ones. I am not going to preach you on moral values vs liberation. Rather, I urge you to grab a fair share of moments. ??

Albeit, I would like to tell few of my learnings which might be worth considering during your incredible journey ahead.

Here we go….

Talent Doesn’t Matter..

Yes, the 1st thing I am saying is indeed a difficult thought to fathom. I have learned it the hard way myself.

The world and you, both know that you are talented. But there are many talented people out there who are just biting dust. Eventually, you will find out, it is not talent, but the decision-making on what to do with it,which shall define your identity.

This doesn't mean that you should hold back on to opportunities to demonstrate your skills and acumen. Though, it would be safe to not think beyond limitations, but there is a certain fun in being mad about pushing the limits, which no one, but only mad people know. Be that mad person, make mistakes, get in trouble, own your misdeeds, fall, rise, learn and do it all over again.

The most indelible learnings are learned the hard way. Never shy away from putting value adding hardships onto yourself. In the end, all that matters is “Are you able to impress yourself?” If you can do that, the job is done...Do justice to talent, but remember, Talent alone does not matter, it needs a company of head and heart.

Life Decisions..

One of your favorite movies is Shawshank Redemption. As the character in Red narrates, a harmless old guy who is reasonable and responsible is being punished for the crimes done by an ignorant young punk. Be mindful, the decisions you take now are going to affect the decisions in future.

Never ever look for short term gains overlooking the long-term setback unless it is a matter of survival. Always, try to live a life such that, when you have a higher balance in memory bank, there are more moments to smile than to regret and repent. Be cognizant, stay awake and always be aware about your Life Decisions.

Limit your friend circle..

You take pride in the vast friend circle of yours. While it is a good to have friends when things sail smooth, friendship is only tested when you are in deep and troubled waters. More often than ever, the people who stand by you in trying times are family and handful of friends. Differentiate between the transactional friends (Friends for convenience) and “no-conditions apply” friends.

?As you grow older, you will realize that the friendship is all about quality than quantity. The faster you learn and embrace this; the harness of friendship will start acting in your favor rather than a negative force. Limit your circle to enjoy the real essence of friendship.

Grow on Healthy Habits..

This is the age when your body is agile, your metabolism robust and procrastination is yet to grow on you. But, it is going to change with time. Believe me, the transition will be so seamless, you won’t even know it ever happened. What health habits you develop now, will go a long way in quality of life you shall live.

More than anything, what you will miss at my age is the ability to get out of bed when you want to, get into jogging shoes and scram to the park. I strongly suggest, never let go the athletic streak. Even when you are traveling, rising early for a flight, or have had a late dinner the night before, always start your day by liberating your body, letting it sweat and detoxifying it from negativity. The rush of adrenaline once you complete the activity should be a daily routine than a splurge or phase. Work towards growing healthy habits and make them an integral part of your life.

Family Matters..

No bond is deeper than the bond of blood. As far as you can, always look after one of your own. Family is a not a set of people but an institution. It imbibes learnings which will become more and more relevant in the years to come.

Family will teach you, How to work forward collectively by parking your personal differences, Why personal sacrifice is an easy choice when it is done for goodwill of ones who matter, How to operate in Grey, When to draw the line between material prosperity and mental well-being and many many more.....

As humans, we are supposed to have emotions and this trait is brought to senses more often by family, than anyone else. Family Matters... Never think twice before taking a bullet for them. And, if need be…. shoot one.

Be Happy,no matter what..

Life is lot less complex for you now, than what it is going to be. There are more opportunities to smile, laugh, and find happiness in small things now, which at my age you might just ignore or never realize that they actually occurred.

"Assertion to toxic matters" (a new normal in corporate) is too indulged to realize, it has a tag along friend in "ignorance of small joys". Never nurture the latter. Find joy in small things on daily basis and embrace this virtue for life. Happiness is not a situation, but a state of mind. Make happiness a habit and not a planned occasion.

Understand and Accept Your Limitations..

As you gain more experience, you will keep on adding value to your employability. Said that, it is equally true that as we advance in life, we discover our limitations. Never try to hide your limitations under the carpet. Acknowledge them, work them to the best of your ability and accept what you can’t change.

The most successful people are not the ones with fewer limitations, but those who understand theirs and admit them. What cannot be cured, must be endured. And, Endurance has a twin brother in Resilience which becomes a much more important trait in the later part of life. Embrace your shortcomings, failures, and constraints…Do not live only seeking growth, design your life for resilience.

Impress Yourself..

You have been a carefree guy challenging everything against your will, by and large living the life on your terms. While I want you to keep the challenging streak in check, the part of living on your own terms is something which I want to learn from you. As one progresses, unknowingly the terms are compromised, till it gets transactional out there. My advice is to keep the cause and goal always in your vision.

Anything which is not helping you advance towards your life goal, is a thing to move on from. Be it friends, a toxic relationship, dynamics at current workplace or anything which occupies your headspace for negativity and making you question your self-worth, is a negative force.

The world is there to hate you, never be a part of that club yourself. For them to love, like or even stand by you, the prerequisite is “Thou Shalt Love Thyself”. Let them call you a narcissist, it won’t matter. Only thing which will matter is,"Are you proud of the guy who has worked so hard to become what you are?" If you look for approval of everyone, you might end up getting it, but the result will be more often self-diminishing and diluted.

Sometimes, it is good to corner yourself from the lot, especially when you are the only 3 eyed guy in the room (and this will happen a lot in days to come). Just let it go. You need not, and you simply just cannot please everyone. Only person who needs to be pleased and impressed is your own self.

There are many things apart from these which in the due course of time, you, and me both shall learn. I just tried to share a few, using whatever little experience I hitherto had.

It is always good to learn from experience and that is what I urge you to gain. When I say experience, do not confuse it with tenure. It is important to run and sweat, but not on a treadmill. When you run and sweat, you better reach somewhere. Keep running, continue to reach new milestones, keep raising the bar, be your own better self every next day.

With all this said, I wish that I can still be you, and go through what you are going to experience. Go out there and grab it all, the world is your oyster….

Be good, be happy…. Always….

Love,

Your distinct alter ego ??