Letter to my father

Dad,

Today is your birthday. I woke up today thankful for having you in my life, but melancholic knowing that the end of our journey is drawing near. It is no surprise to anyone (especially you) that I write you this letter on this your birthday.

Growing up, you were admired by many: Dr. Zeledon- professor, diplomat, politician, and grandson to General Zeledon. I know you as my father, but you have always been my most impactful and influential teacher. You have taught me that the solutions to all of life's problems are inside of me, and that I only had to go within, be silent, present and know that all is well.

You never told me how to live or what to think or what to believe in. Instead, you showed me how to take each step with conviction and make every word I use a word of love. You taught me about Kafka, St. Francis, Hafiz, Gogol, Buddha, Krishna, Mohammed, Cervantes, Neville and so many others. You taught me to believe in magic and miracles, and you showed me how to be in awe of the awesome world we live in.

Since the time I was brought into this world, I knew that I was safe to be exactly as I was, and that whoever I was, I was to never let anyone treat me with flippancy or make me feel less than. You told me that I was enough and that it was our ancestors that looks out from behind my eyes. I learned from you that I was the master of my own fate, the creator of my destiny, but also never forget where I came from or that I had ancestors and a lineage to live up to and uphold.

Of all the lessons I have learned the thing that hit me hardest was when you said that I could be anything I desired, but I needed to dream BIG. You and mom did not immigrate to a strange land for their children to be mediocre. You would say, "Don’t let mediocre people talk you out of your dreams; lions have little in common with sheep." You said this, but as a woman, I struggled with it, especially since society and peers were telling me otherwise. I doubted myself, felt inferior and worried that I needed to apologize to something for even contemplating this idea. I have felt unworthy, undeserved and unsure. Although you gave me great tools, I still had to figure out how to use them on my own. You told me I came from an infinite space of perfection and that I will return to it one day too as all of our ancestors have before me. Slowly I am beginning to understand.

No matter what obstacles and challenges you have faced throughout your life, to me and my siblings you have always been DADDY. You showed up to school to fight with counselors when teachers would sign me up for Home Economics instead of Calculus II, you taught me to outwork anyone (especially the men around me), you fed me books and challenged me to think outside the box, you taught me at a very young age that there is a great big world out there and not get caught up in provincial thinking. As I have grown, you have encouraged me to follow my north star and go after whatever it is that excites me. You believe in me Dad and I love you so much for that.

What do you say to someone that gave you life and then showed you how to live it? You say thank you, thank you, thank you.

“My father gave me my dreams. Thanks to him, I could see a future.” —?Liza Minelli