A Letter To My 22-Year-Old Self

This post is republished as a celebration of the New Year and as a reflection on my sometimes hard-earned career insights. I wrote it a number of years ago, and it's as relevant as ever. Please enjoy, and Have a Happy 2023!

A recent college graduate reached out to shadow me on the job, and it took me back to a time (long ago, in a galaxy far, far away) where I was in a position to make my first career decision.?

I spoke with Harold along with the rest of his entrepreneurship class at Saint Louis University. He took to heart my recommendation for students to connect with professionals in the field they are pursuing and work to find a mentor. (By the way, in all my years of delivering presentations to students and offering job shadowing, he is exactly the second person who has ever reached out to me.)

So Harold came to?Mercury Labs?and spent a whirlwind day with me. He participated in daily stand up, sat in on a communications client call, was part of an edit session reviewing footage for a client video, listened in on a sales meeting about building a cool digital platform for a reality TV show, and saw the inner workings of an agency in action. Throughout the course of the afternoon, Harold asked me questions about our work at Mercury Labs, how to balance a career with his artistic aspirations and if I had any words of wisdom for him as he fully transitions into the workforce.?

My children will tell you that I am a sentimental mother. (They will also let you know that I am an evil queen. Both are true.) Nostalgia has crept into my bones, and I feel the fleeting nature of life zipping by as quickly as the money in my bank account. As I looked at Harold and saw the promise of a young budding artist and his quest for a fulfilling job, it struck me with a chord of both hope and sadness. Hope for him to discover the ever-evasive work that nourishes the spirit. Sadness that the journey of discovering your true purpose is not easy and often requires compromise and tremendous patience (a quality few young people possess).

It occurred to me that while I have shared answers to similar questions in various talks and individual conversations over the years, I haven’t committed them to writing. So, I’ve decided to write a letter to my 22-year-old self…for me, for Harold, and for all young professionals plunging into the workforce.?

Dear Angie,

Congratulations on graduating! Glad we didn’t royally screw up, as we started to in the beginning. Way to prove that students today can indeed graduate in four years, and with a double major! (Yes, we overachievers always have something to prove).

Before we move to LA and start pursuing Oscars for our incredible filmmaking talents, I need us to slow down for a moment (just a moment) and listen to our self (our older, wiser self). I can save us a lot of heartbreak and frustration and help us to be happier on the path to our greatness.

We like lists, so I’m sharing our words of wisdom as a list of things to keep in mind as we grow:

1. Nothing goes as planned.

Someone will promise to get us an interview and will go MIA, Get over it. We’ll order a 16-foot moving van to drive across the country and get a 28-footer. We’re adaptable. (SPOILER ALERT) We’re pregnant with morning sickness during MFA finals. Life is a challenge, and we like challenges. Anticipate, adjust and try not to resist or resent the process of change.

2. Slow the f*** down.

It’s great that we are a ‘get it done’ kind of person. But sometimes, just sometimes, it’s okay to do nothing. We need some empty in order to not be overfull, and that means time for reflection rather than action.

3. Make a friend at a bank.

Since we’re going to be an entrepreneur, there’s some basics in business ownership we paid no attention to which I need to remind us. This is just one of them. Banks exist to facilitate timing differences of cash. And I can’t tell you enough how much time and energy managing cash will take if we don’t have a good bank relationship.

4. Don’t take everything so personally.

It’s in our nature to be thoughtful and introspective (yes, I’m buttering us up). This is a lovely quality. Except the shadow side of it is to overthink things and take them personally. Our ideas, our company, our work – these are all important, but we also have to create some distance and let things go. It’s more productive, and I know we like to be productive.

5. Be persistent on the big stuff.

Everything takes twice as long and costs twice as much as you think. And I’m not talking a house rehab (although we do need to do that). I mean that short film, the screenplay, the cross-country office move (hey, at least this time we just paid a moving company), the big PR client campaign, the company milestones, the dreams. No offence, but we (meaning you) have no idea what kind of effort some of our significant accomplishments will take. What matters is that we’re committed and know what’s important so the other things can wash away. Focus our tenacity on the big stuff.

6. Get a mentor.

This is the tip that brought us this letter. It’s hard to know where we’re going if we don’t have a frame of reference for what it looks like further down the line. Plus, if we surround our self with smart, accomplished people, we will be energized as we move further down the path.

7. Celebrate all victories, no matter how small.

See #2. We tend to hit the finish line and never look back. This is not good. Let’s take moments to celebrate our finished work, especially given the fact that it’s usually a bigger deal to get here than we thought.

8. Family comes first.

Best for last, right? Oh boy, I’m getting nostalgic again. I know that being from a large family means we have assumed that having a family will just fold into our plans. This is not a side path, it is the MAIN path, le plat principal, the raison d’etre. (See, that French degree is coming in handy after all.) This means that when push comes to shove, family is the priority. Things will take longer (see #5). Children make life more unpredictable (see #1). Spouses make the world go round. Parents are not around forever. And we have enough siblings to run the world (seriously). Our career is important, and our family is more important. We can’t always have it all. So when it comes down to an 80-hour work weeks versus spending time smooching those kiddos, know that we’ve made the right choice. Family first. Sometimes life really is that simple.

I have plenty more to say, but I know you’re not even listening. So I’ll close by saying – Bonne chance and bon courage!

Take care,

Your older, wiser self