A Letter To The High Achieving Silent Sufferer

Today I’m talking to You, the high achieving silent sufferer.? I've talked to WAY too many of you all lately. You embody resilience and dedication, often placing the needs of your team and projects above your own. Yet, this stoicism comes at a cost. The scenario you face is a classic paradox: enjoying the autonomy to execute your vision, yet feeling isolated without the support you critically need.

"I like that they leave me alone and let me do my thing, but I’m not getting the support that I need," you think. The balance between seeking assistance and maintaining independence is delicate. You're recognized for your reliability and the quality of your work, which, ironically, can lead to being taken for granted. Your silence, a testament to your commitment, may inadvertently signal to others that you are okay, that you don’t require support or recognition.

It’s a challenging position: advocating tirelessly for your team's needs and advancements while wondering, "Who's advocating for me?" You craft a vision for your team's future, invest in their growth, and champion their achievements. But who is there to do the same for you?

First of all, let me say, please know that your feelings are valid and actually more common than I’d like to say among high-achieving leaders. The strength you exhibit in supporting others is admirable, yet every leader also deserves to be supported and recognized. Your success is not just beneficial to your team but to the entire organization. Acknowledging the need for support does not diminish your capabilities; rather, it highlights your wisdom in understanding the holistic needs of leadership.

Guidance and Steps Forward

1. Self-Advocacy: Start by acknowledging your needs and the importance of voicing them. Effective self-advocacy begins with identifying what specific support you require, whether it’s resources, recognition, or development opportunities.

2. Communication: Open a dialogue with your superiors or HR about your role and its challenges. Express your achievements and how further support could not only enhance your performance but also the team's overall success. Remember, it’s not about coming off as needy but about seeking the necessary tools to continue excelling.

3. Seek a Mentor: A mentor, especially one outside of your immediate circle, can offer invaluable perspective and advocacy. They can guide you through navigating your needs and communicating them effectively.

4. Build Your Network: Engaging with peers in leadership roles, both within and outside your organization, can provide a support system of individuals who understand your challenges and can offer advice, empathy, and sometimes, advocacy on your behalf.

5. Prioritize Your Development: Just as you plan for your team’s growth, create a personal development plan. Identify courses, seminars, or conferences that can enrich your skills and leadership capacity. Present this plan to your organization as part of your career development discussion.

6. Reflect and Adjust: Regularly take stock of your workload, achievements, and well-being. Adjust your strategies for self-advocacy and communication as needed, ensuring you’re not only heard but also supported in your leadership journey.

Your silent struggles do not go unnoticed, and it’s crucial to remember that seeking support is a strength, not a weakness. By advocating for yourself, you set a powerful example for your team about the importance of open communication and self-care. Let's break the cycle of silent suffering together, creating a culture where every leader is supported, valued, and empowered.

Remember you’re worth it.

Rooting for you always,

Ashley

P.S.? I’m here to support you.? Follow me and subscribe to my newsletter if you haven't already and if you can relate to the silent suffering shoot me a DM, I'd love to help.