Letter #4: You don't own talent, you merely borrow it for awhile...

I made the move from peer to manager back in 2017. I went from having no line reports to managing a team of 12. As someone who likes to be liked and doesn't enjoy conflict, going from their peer to their manager was THE biggest transition I've ever experienced.

I did lots of things really well but I also know in those first 6 months I did lots of things not so well... let's dig into that!

Here is my fourth letter to you as I reflect on those first 6 months of managing and my learnings...

To whom it may concern,

After the initial transition of moving from peer to manager (which I've already mentioned was a huge shock!) I started to fall into my groove. I was clear on my role and how it differed to my old one, my team had regular 1-1s with me and a weekly wider team meeting - everything was falling into a rhythm and I started to feel like I had this leadership thing down.

One thing I was not prepared for was a disengaged team member who had already clocked out of the business before I took on the role. This is nothing to do with them or the business itself. They were just at a point in their career where they had been thinking about their next step for some time. Maybe they had been at the business for awhile? Maybe they had got too comfortable in the role and couldn't see their next step? Maybe too much had happened before me to see this as a new chapter for themselves, not just their new manager? The problem you face as a leader when one of your team members starts to mentally step away is that this feeling can become toxic for the rest of the team.

We are all human. When we start to stop caring about the role that we do or lack that motivation to go above and beyond, no matter how well we think we are masking this, we show this in our day to day behaviour. It started off with small signs, where the team member would be slower to respond to clients or sales enquiries or would start to drop the ball on daily tasks. Over time I noticed them becoming short in their communication with their peers and I would hear (through the grapevine) that they had been speaking negatively about the wider business.

It would have been easier for me to ignore this behaviour. I had 90% of the team performing well so surely 10% is not important? Wrong! That 10% can have a profound impact on team motivation and output. My biggest learning was, if you ignore the 10%, then the 90% think that this behaviour is acceptable and maybe themselves start to drop the ball, respond more slowly to clients etc. Or maybe they start to resent you as you put pressure on them to perform at their best but they don't see you doing this to the disengaged employee? To run a high performing and happy team, you need 100% of your team to be ALL IN.

So, I chose the harder option but my approach may surprise you...

I didn't start a performance review process, I didn't involve HR. I merely asked this person in a 1-1: 'Are you okay?' This question came as a huge surprise and what followed was an hour long emotional conversation where they voiced their frustrations. I listened, I was curious, I asked what would make them happy? I then asked the hardest question of all: 'Can I help you find your next role?' With this topic now on the table, the individual immediately relaxed and we set out a plan to see what other roles there might be in the business or the wider industry that would suit their next steps.

The results? This individual found their next promotion at another company. They were honest about when they needed the time to interview. They asked me for feedback on their final interview presentation and I was the first person they told when they got the job. I celebrated this person, I supported this person and they are now still very happy in their career.

We don't own talent, we merely borrow it for awhile. As a leader you need to know when it's time for your talent to move on to ensure your team can continue on their journey with you. Knowing when to say goodbye to team members is vital, trust me, they will thank you.

Yours sincerely,

Jess Jarrold

@newgenleadershipcoach