Letter 4: Step off.

Welcome to the?4th?‘R’ Letter.

R for ‘Rest’.

Not a privilege, nor a taboo. A primary need we all have.

Every Wednesday,?The?‘R’ Letter?sheds light on a professional and their relationship to Rest.

The?‘R’ Letter?is curated by?Bérénice K. Schramm?as an applied research project based on?Tricia Hersey’s?trailblazing book?Rest is Resistance?(2022) and decade-long work?at?The Nap Ministry?(including on?IG).?

This week,?The 'R' Letter is a conversation with, and an invitation to step off by? Annelie Wambeek , an intercultural trainer with a focus on inclusion and belonging.

The next?'R' Letter?will reach you next Wednesday, 1 February 2023.

Restfully.

Annelie self-describes as being born in Sweden, but as in fact part Sri Lankan, part English. Raised as a third culture kid, she has lived in Kashmir, Wales, Spain, Sri Lanka and more! For the last 6 years she has been based in Amsterdam, which is the longest she has ever lived in one place - thus far. Today, heading her own company - Annelie Wambeek Consultancy, she works with global teams to help create a vocabulary and awareness around using our differences (cultural in particular) as the asset that they are, and making sure that with an increase in diversity, the diversity of thought we all bring is valued.?

~ Annelie’s Relationship to Rest ~        

My relationship to rest changed drastically as I entered my 30’s. I was diagnosed with a severe burnout (I missed all the symptoms, as I didn’t feel I had the ‘right’ to burnout) and long-term depression at 30 years old - and was forced to stop and assess the direction I was heading in. Three years later and I’m confident that my burnout was the best thing that could have happened to me!

For many years I resisted proper rest.

Since I was a teenager, I’ve always ‘burnt the candle at both ends’. I worked hard, and partied and socialised just as hard. For many years I resisted proper rest. I mistakenly thought that ‘rest and rejuvenation’ were synonymous and whenever I could, I travelled far and wide - which was rejuvenating but often not restful. Looking back my body was telling me something - as soon as the weekend hit, or it was time for a holiday, I’d get a cold. Now it seems clear to me I was pushing myself far too hard, in order not to miss out on anything.

I’m now creating a life where my work fits around my life.

My relationship to rest today is very different. I have been my own boss for just over a year now and have decided that my life shouldn’t be structured around working so hard that I need to rest, but rather I’m creating a life where my work fits around my life. I’m very aware that this is a huge privilege, not afforded to many, and I don’t take that for granted.?

~ Annelie’s Rest Teachers ~        

As a very young child I vividly remember rarely wanting to sleep and emerging from my room well after bedtime to tell my parents I was having ‘bad thoughts’. Many years of therapy later, I understand that was how anxiety showed herself - and my bad thoughts were my 5-year-old brain catastrophising and ruminating. Don’t get me wrong, I had an amazing childhood - with loving parents as my constant as we moved around the world.

My Mum taught me mindfulness, long before it became the 'trendy thing to do'.

One of my earliest memories is of my Mum helping me to declutter my head by counting sheep (and fish or whichever creature I was fascinated with at the time). Now I can see she was teaching me mindfulness, long before it became the ‘trendy thing to do’.

It’s ok to step off, or to change lanes!

Today I realise that rest isn’t selfish and there is a reason they say to put on your own oxygen mask before helping others. I’ve been lucky enough to have met some truly amazing people while working for myself, one of whom is the amazing Shiva Roofeh. Shiva inspired me to examine how much we are programmed and conditioned to keep running on the capitalistic treadmill. It’s ok to step off, or to change lanes!

~ Annelie’s Rest Praxis ~        

Setting boundaries for myself as I embark on the rollercoaster of starting my own company has been quite the journey! I try and check in with myself regularly to see what is giving me energy and what is draining it. I have also realised (better late than never) that I shouldn’t wait until I’m utterly exhausted and ‘need’ to rest, but instead I strive to not push myself to that point in the first place.

Being my own boss has allowed me to lean into my body’s preferred rhythm.

Being my own boss has allowed me to lean into my body’s preferred rhythm. My brain switches on at night, and 4 am is often when I feel at the height of my creative powers. So, I’ve stopped fighting it! Recently I was diagnosed with ADHD [Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder - Ed.], and that has helped me understand my need to work in short bursts, and often last minute - I thrive on the adrenaline. So now I’ll have a siesta in the middle of the day if I feel I need it - and not stress that I’m being lazy. I try and not feel guilty when I don’t sit in front of my laptop for hours, but rather go for a walk or sit by a body of water and think, that is work too. I still pinch myself that I’m fortunate enough to decide my own schedule, and while I do find myself agreeing to far too many meetings, I have no issue spending a day doing ‘nothing’ mid-week.

I look forward to 2023 being the year where I take rest as seriously as it deserves.

I look forward to 2023 being the year where I take rest as seriously as it deserves, while acknowledging that although rest is a necessity, there are millions of people who can’t afford the luxury of rest. I’d love to hear what works for you too!

~ Annelie’s Rest Artefacts ~        

There is very little more restful to me that being in water, despite keeping one eye open for ?? in this river! The video below was taken in the jungles of Sri Lanka, I hope you enjoy the magical noises of nature as much as I do.

Rest and rejuvenation are not always synonymous - but swimming in Lake Como with one of my oldest friends truly was both.

When I can’t be in water, I find watching clouds truly restful. I see why so many Dutch painters were inspired by this fast changing sky!