Letter 21: You are being Manipulated

You Are Being Manipulated – Understanding Gaslighting

Imagine this: Arika, a dedicated team member, works late nights to ensure her project’s success. One day, during a meeting, her manager claims, “Arika, I don’t know why you’re struggling with deadlines—this project wasn’t meant to be so hard.” Arika feels confused; she’s sure she was given a challenging timeline and has been pushing hard to meet it. But now, she’s starting to doubt herself. Was she overreacting? Did she misunderstand the scope?

Later, she approaches her manager to clarify and explain her hard work. He brushes her off, saying, “You’re just being too sensitive. Everyone else seems to manage just fine.” Arika leaves the conversation feeling disoriented and uncertain. Over time, similar comments make her question her abilities and her own perception of reality.

This is Gaslighting at Work.

Now, let’s look at how gaslighting shows up in personal life.

Imagine this: Yatish and his partner have been together for a while. Recently, he noticed her frequently updating someone else about where she’s going, when she arrives, and what she’s doing. He felt uneasy about it and decided to bring it up. When he did, his partner responded with, “Wow, you’re really insecure, aren’t you? It’s just a friend.” Yatish felt dismissed but let it go.

Then, one evening, he saw her sending another detailed update that made him uncomfortable. He tried to bring it up again, and his partner replied, “You’re being paranoid. You always overthink things.” Slowly, Yatish began to doubt his own feelings. Was he really overreacting? Was it all just in his head?

This is Gaslighting in Personal Life.

Gaslighting in relationships can be subtle but deeply damaging. It can make you feel isolated, insecure, and unsure of your own reality.

Signs of Gaslighting in Personal Life

Some common phrases you might hear if you’re being gaslit:

• “You’re overreacting.”
• “You’re so insecure; no one else would care about this.”
• “You’re making things up in your head.”
• “That’s not what happened. You’re imagining things.”

These comments can make you question your perception and self-worth, keeping you trapped in a cycle of doubt.

How to Protect Yourself from Gaslighting

1. Trust Your Instincts: Whether it’s work or personal life, trust your intuition. If something feels wrong, it probably is.
2. Document Your Experiences: Keep a mental or written record of events and feelings. This helps you stay grounded in your reality.
3. Set Boundaries and Speak Up: Don’t allow someone to dismiss your feelings. Stand firm and communicate that your experiences are valid.

Remember: Gaslighting is about control, whether it’s at work or home. Don’t let anyone undermine your confidence or intuition. Recognize the signs, protect your boundaries, and hold onto your reality.

Does this resonate with you? Share your thoughts, and let’s support each other in recognizing and resisting gaslighting tactics.

#Gaslighting #Paranoid #Manipulation